Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Vet Chat. Today I am joined by Lou Northway, and we're gonna be discussing one of our most requested podcast topics, transitioning back into practise after maternity leave. Lou qualifies as an RVN in 2009 and has worked in various first opinion practises and a large multidisciplinary referral hospital.
Since qualifying, she has undertaken 2 further certificates in anaesthesia and ECC and previously sat on the BDNA council. Since having her baby boy in September 2020, she is now working part-time in a busy first opinion practise. Alongside this, she is also working for RCVS Knowledge as quality improvement clinical lead, RVM, a particular area of passion.
Prior to Mat leave, Lou was lecturing to nurses up and down the country in her areas of interest and managed her online RVM blog at Lou the vet nurse, which now has over 17,000 worldwide subscribers. In 2019, she was awarded the RCVS inspiration Award for her ability to inspire and enfuse others and was also named as RCVS Knowledge champion for two consecutive years for her clinical audits undertaken in practise. Lou still adores being a veterinary nurse.
However, juggling working mum life has been a whole new challenge and exhausting experience, and one which she knows is widely shared. So welcome, Lou, thanks so much for joining me today. Hi, thanks for calling me.
So as I mentioned just now. We get requests from our community a lot, for our podcast, and we always listen and one of the topics which we've been getting quite a lot recently is around, motherhood. So it's great to have you here to share your experiences today.
So to start, do you want to tell us a little bit about yourself and your family? Yeah, sure. So I am a first-time mom.
I go to Max in September 2020 and I have a husband and a cat, who was the first born, but she definitely now knows her place. Lovely. So, so sorry, when did you say September 2020, so during the pandemic?
Yeah, that's right. That's when life changed, for the better though, but it was a shock to the system at first, and it's been a learning experience every single day, I would say since. How was your, how was your maternity leave?
It was very different to what I had envisaged. To be honest, like, from when I was first pregnant, you have in your head, like, what it's gonna look like. You can imagine sort of showing your bump off at work and telling all of your clients and all of that.
But that didn't happen because I got furloughed in March 2020, and then basically just continued my pregnancy at home on my own, which I was quite sad about because I was sort of looking forward to sort of changing how I was at work and, yeah, showing off my bump. And then, yeah, Max arrived and then lockdown was still well underway, so I couldn't even then go out and show him off either. But, I've certainly made for, I'm up for it now, and I've taken, I can't even tell you how many photos of him, 30,000 probably.
So, yeah. Did you, did you stay off work for long after you'd had Max? Yeah, so I had in my head initially that I was gonna be off for a year.
But actually, I ended up going back after 9 months, mainly for financial reasons, really. And that was quite a hard one, because at 9 months, you still feel like they're a little baby and they're, you know, they still need you. And, I was still feeding him myself at that point.
And then, yes, that was a whole sort of emotional time. But made easier by my lovely colleagues. Oh, brilliant.
And how, how would you describe your return to practise? I was pleasantly surprised actually, to start with, I thought it was gonna be much more, stressful, but my work was so good and accommodating at sort of, you know, I said I would really want to come back, but I can only come back 3 days a week really, just because of the childcare that I had available. And the hours were shorter than what I used to do, and would that be OK?
And they were just like, yeah, of course, that's absolutely fine, so that's a lot of pressure off, which was great. And then back in in practise as well, everybody was very . Just really kind because it wasn't just being off for maternity leave, it was also being off for all of that furloughed period as well.
So I was off for well over a year, a year in the end, and I thought, oh gosh, my skills would have become rusty and my knowledge wouldn't have been as good and lots of things had changed and there were new team members and it was, yeah, a big shock to the system, but made easier because they were all so lovely. Oh, that's great, but it made such a difference just having that support. Yeah, it was, yeah, really.
Did, so when you went back, did you kind of go back straight away or did you kind of stagger your return? No, so I had, well, I had a few, well, what do they call them, keeping in touch days, yeah. And I really enjoyed going in.
I enjoyed myself so much. I felt like that was me again because it's so weird this like other world, your brain goes into you and you become a mum. And, you know, my professional self was so much me until I had him.
And then all of a sudden I was this, well, I feel like a completely new person and it's hard to know where you sort of fit, especially going back into your team again, when like the dynamics have changed and before you were full time, but now you're going back in part time. And you can't always do everything that you did previously. So it's like coming to terms with that and that actually that's OK as well.
It's hard, isn't it? I think me personally, so I've got two little girls, so I've gone back from Matt leave twice and I think I had totally unrealistic expectations of what it was going to be going back to work. I would say that too.
I thought, oh, it'll be fine going back into work and all those extra bits that you used to do, you can just do in the evening at home when Max has gone to bed. I don't think so on reflection. I'm knackered.
Yeah Absolutely. And you, you do put so much pressure on yourself as well, don't you to have it, have it all, you know, figured out and to be able to do everything that you could do before. And yeah, it, it just doesn't quite pan out like that.
Yeah, you just have to be kind to yourself, really, because, you, it's like being a mom is your full-time job, which never stops and then your work. You're sort of like going to work job is your other job. So basically you work full time and a half, I feel like I'm not working part time at all.
So did you ever, do you ever, or, you know, do you ever still feel guilty about going back to work and leaving Max or do you feel like you've kind of got that all? . Yeah, to, to start with, definitely, when he was much younger, because they still seem like they need you so much.
And also they change so much day to day. So, you know, when, when you go to work and then you get back to, so my, my parents look after him two days a week and my mother-in-law has him 1 day a week and they'll be like, Oh, he said this today, or he did this for the first time, and then you think, oh, I missed that. That should have been with me.
But, at the same time, I know he has an absolutely lovely time when he goes to be with them and also I feel it's so important for me to be at work, having time being sort of professional me as well. It keeps me mentally in check because it it's, it's really tough. Yeah.
Did you, Did you ever consider doing it a little bit differently before you went back? Like did you, did it ever sort of cross your mind that you do it full time or? Yeah.
I had a, I had lots of thinking time when I was off and I did consider not going back, not going back into clinical practise and have having sort of a still a veterinary nursing related role but maybe working from home or sort of doing like nursing consultancy or something like that which would fit around Max, maybe a little bit easier. But what I actually decided that clinical practise was where I was most happy. I was very lucky in the practise that I'm working in.
I really like my colleagues, and having something that's familiar and regular, is just really important when you first go back in. I just could, I, I don't know how anyone would cope with like a new job straight off the back of Mat leave. Personally, I think that would have just crumbled me.
But yeah. Oh, that's good. I mean, it's fantastic, isn't it, that you've been able to find that balance as well with with your practise.
Yeah, it's definitely a balance though, and it doesn't always feel like it is balanced, but for the best part, now, well how long have I been back, almost a year, I feel like I've sort of found, yeah, the right mix. Do you want to join the largest online veterinary community in the world? The webinar vet's membership is the perfect tool to complete your veterinary CPD with ease anytime, any place, on any connected device.
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How was it with your team? It sounds like you've got a great relationship with your team, but has it all been positive going back with them? Yeah, no, it's been, it's been really good.
A couple of us, all got pregnant at the same time, so you can imagine the bosses were delighted about that. But a few, yeah, so myself and one of the other nurses, we had our baby boys a a month apart. And also, if you want to have a baby boy, come and work at Wendover Heights, because 6 of us had boys within a year.
So there we are. Something in the water there. I don't know.
But no, they were absolutely brilliant and obviously a lot of the nurses that are there have already had children, and they're actually more grown up now. So there was a lot of support from them because knowing like how we're feeling going back in. And, and for me as well, it's been a massive eye opener because I, you know, Max is my first.
I've been in practise for almost 20 years, and there have been times when, you know, the full, the part-time nurses with children leave on time and you're like, oh, they're going on time and I'm, I'm the one working late again. Well, actually, now that's me. And I totally get it.
Like that extra 15 minutes of you working late if you have children, and then it messes up bedtime, then it messes up absolutely everything else for the evening and probably the next day. And it's just, you become so obsessed, don't you, with routine and timings when you have kids. Yeah.
Totally. Like I totally didn't understand it either before I had children. I remember, one of my friends, she had, she was one of the first out of our group of friends to have a baby, and I used to remember saying to her, Oh, should we just go for a coffee?
And she, she just wouldn't like if it was between 12 o'clock and 2 o'clock. Yes, the same hours. She was like, they are my 2 hours to sort everything else out.
She refused to see anybody during that time, but now it makes perfect sense. Yeah, oh my gosh, it's like the best bit well. I love, I love it when he's awake, don't get me wrong, but those 2 hours in the afternoon that you just get to yourself and you can do a bit of gardening, that's something I've got really into, or washing your hair, washing, washing, you know.
Would that be one of the, one of the tips you would give to people listening to this who are about to have babies? Would it be to just enjoy that that time? Any of the tips for them when they, when the baby sleeps, don't feel like you always have to do something productive, like wash your hair, paint your nails if you want to, or just watch some, some like brain rot TV on television, like below deck or something.
Treat yourself. I think there's this feeling like you always have to be doing something, but actually it's exhausting, isn't it, being a mom. So having a jolly good rest is also acceptable.
Do you think there's any more that needs to be done in the vet world anymore that people can be doing in terms of support or flexibility in practise? So I feel very lucky where I am in my practise. I mean, they're great, like, they're.
They couldn't have been more supportive and also I work for a corporate and they have a return to work bonus scheme, so you get sort of I think it's 3 months of your salary split over 12 months is like a bonus on top of your normal salary, and that's been really helpful, . And we'll be going towards childcare costs 2 to 2 to 3. But I hear from a lot of nurses because I'm obviously very engaged with nurses online through social media, and I hear from them saying, you know, they're not supported or they wanted to go back and work particular hours and it didn't fit the business.
And I just think, like, come on guys, 90% of your profession is female and probably going to have children and it's, if you wanna keep them, you know, gold dust, stuff. Then you have to be flexible and make it work, . So it's that really, just being flexible, you can make it work.
My practise has, and others can as well. You just do have to adapt the day sometimes, depending on who you've got working, but it is possible. And wouldn't you rather that be fully staffed with flexi team members than have no team and lots of locums, which is basically can be as difficult to manage.
Yeah, absolutely, couldn't agree more. Yeah. What are there any skills that you think being a parent has taught you that you've been able to take back into practise?
I think it's changed my perspective on life in general. So, I got pregnant with Max, probably when my career was at its peak. I had lots planned ahead, which obviously then actually did get cancelled because of COVID.
But that aside, I was so work, work, work. I was doing stuff in the evenings at weekends, just very. Just completely wrapped up in my work and that's not necessarily a bad thing because it's my passion.
But I did lose sight of making memories with friends and family, and now I see Max change so readily every single day. I don't want to miss those moments, so it has been a lesson to me to pull back from, you know, being so career focused and just live in the moment a little bit more, rather than what's next. Mhm.
Yeah, no, that's, that's brilliant, so, so true. I think it's, yeah, it's, it's an interesting one, isn't it? I think it teaches you almost that you really don't need as much in life as you thought you would need in order to be happy, like, you know, just enjoy the little things, as you say, like making sure that you're back for bedtime and you can do all the little things like that and just making sure that, you know, you, you, when you're actually with them that you're present, I remember, One of my friends said to me when I was, you know, a little bit anxious going off from to my leaving to remember she said to me, not to strive for balance but to strive for presents.
Yeah, stuck with me forever, like just present wherever you are with them. No, I completely agree with that. No, absolutely.
Is there, has there ever been any experience in practise where, you've had colleagues or people that you work with and that they feel like a little bit overwhelmed with, with being a parent and being back in practise? Oh, I think I've ever worked with at some stage, I would have experienced them having a wobble, and I think that's part of being human and especially a lot of professionals that we're really conscientious, aren't we? So, you know, you, you're, you come to work absolutely knackered because your child's been awake in the night, and then you have highly emotive situations, and I think we do, it's harder to manage.
Those things when you already are running on empty. So ensuring that your team is there to catch you as you fall or even to take your hand before you trip, is so important. And I would like to think that most teams would be like that.
But, yeah, I don't think that's probably an uncommon occurrence, but it's what you do if, if that, that does happen. Yeah, no, absolutely. Are there any, I know you do a lot online, don't you?
You've got your, community and your blog and things like that. Are there any online resources that you find particularly useful when you've been back in practise? Well, just before I was going back into practise, BVNA had done, some maternity, webinars, and I watched that and I found that very helpful.
But I think when worldwide or online, there is a website called Maternity rights, and that's really clear and concise. It's got that HR advice about, you know, what you're entitled to. I think health and safety is a big one as well when you're pregnant.
And also when you're going back into practise if you're breastfeeding, so around substances and, and what you're involved with, like, just be very strong about what you are happy doing and not doing. And educating your line manager if they're not, you know, up to speed on what you can safely do or not. But there is lots of information out there, but, I can't think of.
A particular link off the top of my head right now. Oh, no worries. If there's any that comes to mind, definitely send them over and we can put them on the webinar vet blog when we, when we publish this in a, in a couple of weeks' time.
Brilliant, I will do. And that is it. We've run out of time already, Lou, that's blown by.
Oh, but thank you so much. Are there any final, points or comments that you'd like to share with our listeners? I would just like to say something like, how lucky are we to do a job which we adore to only finish the day to start the other job you you you adore as well.
I feel like that. I look forward to going to work, but then when it's like it's time for me to go home, I think, oh, can I get to go and see my little squid. So yeah, living in, living in the, in the present in the moment, don't always look to the future to like what's next, just soak up those smiles they do at you and those little jumps in every single puddle they can find.
Oh, that's lovely. That's been great, Lou. Thank you so much.
It's been great to chat and yeah, if there's anything else that you think of that you'd like to share with our listeners, then just send it over and we'll post it on the blog. Lovely, I will do thank you for inviting me. Oh, thanks so much.
Take care. Take care. Bye bye bye.
