Brilliant. Welcome everyone, good evening. Nice to see you, just getting you all coming in.

That's brilliant, fantastic. So. How is everybody?

What, what a, what a, what a, what a few days since the last time we were together, on Tuesday last week. So, yeah, just unprecedented times, lots going on. obviously we've got Eva at home as well, so it's been quite interesting today prepping for tonight, in between games of snakes and ladders and you know, and then looking at a few more questions, so.

Imagine any of you that are at home and have kids will be experiencing similar. So, I also, if you're anything like me, it's been quite, it's quite challenging, isn't it, to focus at the moment. I don't know if you're finding the same, just, attention seems to be scattered everywhere, and having kind of cycles of anxiety and then feeling OK, and I think all of that's really normal at the moment.

However, it is good to try and keep some structure in place, so it's really good that we're going ahead, with all of these. Hello everyone coming in, all of our sessions, and, we've got a good, good load of questions for tonight. So without further ado, I shall probably crack on so that we can try and get, get you all finished in a reasonable time.

I've got the chat box on, so as we go through, if anyone has any fresh questions or comments or anything, just bring them in the chat, and we'll see. OK, right. So, I'm gonna start with Cheryl.

Cheryl sent me some questions just before we went live last time, so I didn't get a chance to, to do them then. So I'm gonna do Cheryl's questions first. Cheryl, I think, was working tonight, so I'm just having a check, yeah, she's not on there.

Can you guys just all pop live and then hit return into the chat just so that Dawn can track you for your CPD certificates, please? That's great, thank you. .

OK, so Cheryl's questions, she started out by saying, are we gonna cover the kind of decoupling self-worth from Korea? If not, please could you talk us through what this means? So, yes, I can give you a little bit more about that.

So hopefully, I'm hoping, Cheryl, when you watch this back on the replay, that some of the stuff that we covered in last Tuesday's webinar as we started to look at self-worth and self compassion, I'm hoping that some of that was helping as well. I think when you're wanting to start that process of decoupling your sense of self-worth from your career and what you do. Step one really is what we've already done, and that's just having an awareness.

So, so initially having an awareness that that is a thing that it, that's at the, you know, and certainly recognising, if you recognise that within yourself, that currently I do link how I feel about myself as a person to my outcomes and what I do, rather than just inherently feeling like I'm OK, then just having an awareness that that's happening is the first step. Because then that gives you a choice to either stick with that or gradually start to do the work to change it. Acknowledging stuff is the, is the first in anything, is always the first step to, to releasing it.

Step 2 is then just deciding if that is something you want to shift, and if it is, it's setting an intention around that. So holding an intention or writing in your journal, or just affirming to yourself that you want to release that pattern. So that's things like just saying to yourself, I'm working, I'm working towards knowing that I'm enough.

We never make the jump straight away to, yes, I know that I'm enough. It's, it's always a journey, so just recognising I'm working towards knowing that I'm enough, irrespective of my outcomes, and I choose to start knowing that I'm enough. So just setting an intention that you want to start shifting and loosening that.

And then it's, it's, again, it's just sort of looking at how it tends to show up so that you can look at how to release it. And it's really, you know, I know at the moment, Cheryl, you're, you know, trying to work out what to do with the nursing, whether to stay nursing, move to something else, move, move the animal part of your life more towards being a hobby and change your income generating. So lots of decision making going on.

And really, it's about, so for you, in this instance, it will be about not waiting until that decision making process is done, or until you've decided what you're gonna do and then made the changes to feel OK about yourself. Because that process, and again this links in Nicky, Nikki Lao, to your question that's coming a bit later in terms of, I want to know now and I'm impatient for it. Is that this is a process, and, you know, it, I don't know exactly how long it's gonna take for each of you.

But it is, it is a gradual process. So what we don't want to be doing is saying, OK, well, I'm gonna feel OK about myself when I've made my career change, or when I'm in my zone of genius, or when I found my zone of genius, or, you know, just any anything conditional, really, that is at the end of the process. So when I've got my behaviour certificate or whatever.

Because this life is happening right now, and I think everything that's going on at the moment is really bringing that to the fore. We're really being asked to look at the way we're living, the choices we're making, and all of that stuff. So this is a really good time to, to be, to be thinking about these concepts.

So it's thinking, actually this is a process and life is happening right now at the moment. So while I go through this process. I'm going to choose to know that I'm enough.

I'm gonna take pauses, I'm gonna rest and play. I'm gonna connect with the people that I love, I'm gonna practise leaning into vulnerability as this process goes along and not just sort of waiting and saying, well, I'll be worthy when I've sorted my career out. .

That's, that's, it's, it's hard to let go of the productivity of self-worth when the first question, hi Nicola, when the first question that most people say, you know, ask you when they don't know you is, so what do you do? You know, culturally, we're geared towards going right, you, I'm gonna evaluate you based on your income or your job or what it is you do for a living. So culturally out there, culture kind of tells you as well that you are what you do, or you are what your income is.

So, . And obviously, that's not the truth, not the truth at all, because the chap who's gonna come and collect my bins tomorrow, is not a, a, a less worthy person, just because he hasn't got a veterinary degree and maybe doesn't earn what I earn. He's, he's still just as worthwhile a person.

I'm no better a person at that kind of core level. So when people say, what do you do, your answer to that question is really all of your life balance wheel, it's all of those aspects of yourself. And it's also choosing to define for yourself.

What, you, you know, your own sense of self-worth and what that means to you that's decoupled just from from what you do career-wise. And the big antidote to this is the rest and play stuff and figuring out what play looks like for you, in because we. We quite often, when you, when you're in the productivity and self-worth thing, then we tend to go, right, what's the next achievement I have to get, what's the next certificate, what's the next level of income I need to push myself towards and then sometimes what it takes us to keep jumping through those leaps and keep increasing, doing more and, and.

That, that then can often take us away from the very things that are right under our nose that actually would could be bringing us lots and lots of joy. And again, at the moment when the world seems to have hit reboot reboots and literally everything, many things are pausing, again, we are being called right now at the moment to do that deeper reflective work and and look within. And so, what can help is sort of thinking for you and anyone that you live with, or anyone that you're, you're close to, what brings me or us joy and meaning.

So when my life or my family unit or my partner and I's life is going really well, what, what's that look like? What, you know, how much holidays are we having? How much time together are we spending?

How much healthy food are we eating? How much are we exercising? What, is there time to just potter and bimble about in the garden?

You know, it, it, what is it that brings your life joy and meaning? Because sometimes if you can find what those ingredients are, and then compare that to what you're telling yourself you need to strive for, sometimes the things that you want to be engaging in are right under your nose. And certainly, that's been my experience with coming where I was at that's now, when I was earning a lot of money, but had literally not a second in my life.

I'm now earning half as much, and my life has so much joy and meaning. I fully intend to surpass what I was earning before in time. So I'm not saying that that that don't strive to earn more, all those sorts of things.

I'm just saying it's just that decoupling your sense of self-worth from, from what you do. So I hope that gives you a little bit more on that front. The second thing.

Cheryl was asking was around growth mindset, saying any tips, quick tips for noticing when you need to switch quickly from a fixed to a growth mindset, any examples of an affirmation to adopt. So, with that, I'm just going to quickly, let me just open that up. I'm just gonna share this, the growth mindset image with you again for a second.

Share that. So hopefully you'll be looking at that. So.

Cheryl, when it's, it's basically reminding yourself about what growth mindset is, so you can look at some of the growth mindset set statements on this diagram. This diagram is in the Career clarity Blueprint webinar, I think. I will, if anybody wants it, I can just email it it to everyone as well.

I tried to sort of put it into the chat when, when we were prepping, but I couldn't work out how to do it. So, and these are just a few. If you Google growth mindset statements, you'll find loads of stuff in there.

So, it's reading any of these that really connect and and what I would say Charles is. Look at, perhaps keep a diary for 2 or 3 weeks and look at where, what is it that tends to trigger you to go into it. Where are you fixed mindset?

Because we, we don't tend to ever be just all fixed or all growth. There will be some areas of your life where you are quite growth mindset and some areas where you're resolutely fixed. So, it's, it's thinking, what is it that where I tend to go, that's it, I'm either good at it or I'm not or I'm not.

I can't really expand in that. That's just my set point. Is that work related?

Is it a particular skill? Is it interpersonal communications? What, you know, what is it that tends to trigger growth mindset for you?

Because then you can look to see what sort of growth mindset statement might work as a good counterbalance affirmation to that. The other thing is, you, I know you're saying kind of how do you, how do you switch your thinking really quickly. It's just practise.

So whenever you're, whenever you're trying to change those neural networks in your brain, we're gonna cover this on Tuesday next week. Normally, it, you'll only notice it retrospectively to start with. You'll think back and go, God, there I was in fixed mindset again.

That's completely normal. So then you would then think, OK, well, what could I have said, done or thought differently? That's what I need to do next time.

As you then practise that more, you'll start to get to the stage where you can feel yourself about to say something, fixed mindset or think it, catch yourself on the fly and flip it. That takes practise, but, and that's where you can get to. So, but in the initial bit, you're just gonna find out retrospectively and then think about it.

And that's why things like journaling and self-reflection is so important, as well. So the other thing is if you've not already read or listened to Carol Dweck's mindset. She goes through it in in so many different ways that it really just kind of get it all cemented into your brain, so I'm sure she'd have a few more useful things in there as well.

OK, so. The final part of Cheryl's question was around money mindset. It was a good, it's a really good one.

So she's saying pay in the whole veterinary sector tends to be low, and as an RVN it's just expected and accepted. How do I work out what I'm really worth when we're paid so little across the board? And I'd sort of gone back and said, you know, is that specific to the RVN role?

And she was saying, yeah, it was about staying in the RVN role. If I diversify, I feel I can gauge my worth. But as a nurse, and with most most animal related careers, the pay is low, really low, even with extra qualifications and years of experience.

So how can I improve my money mindset when there's a realistically, not going to be a significant increase in my income, as a nurse? So she's saying that you know if we're going to practise management or teaching, it's not working with animals, that's people, and so part of his, part of her saying, should I just get the animal bits becoming a hobby and then my income should come from something else. So firstly, part of your question, Cheryl was saying, how do I work out what I'm really worth in terms of the income generation, and this is similar to the productivity is self-worth, in terms of you as an individual are priceless.

You again, just like with the self-worth stuff, there's nothing you have to do. Money is completely emotionally neutral. It doesn't have a, a sort of Money doesn't judge you and come to you if you are more brilliant or more amazing, or not if it thinks that you don't deserve it.

It's completely motionless. So when you look around the world, there are wealthy people who are amazing and incredible and philanthropic do good things, whatever that word is, . And are wealthy.

There are also some people who are really not very nice and don't have good intentions that also have a significant amount of money. And the same, that when you come down to lower income, there are people who are doing incredible amazing things who are, you would say we're more worthy, who hardly earn anything, and vice versa. So, so your, your worth is priceless.

What we, we, and there is an there is actually an infinite amount of money out there, so. What tends to come to you in terms of your, your earning potential tends to depend on two things. One thing is what you're willing to allow yourself to receive.

So although it isn't dependent on how worthy you feel, we do kind of believe that in ourselves. So everyone will have a set point financially that they feel worthy of and that they'd be comfortable earning, and that might be quite a bit higher than what you're earning at the moment, but there will be a thing, a sort of set point, it's, it's called a wealth thermostat. And it's like many of these concepts, we'll have a level that we feel is OK.

If we want to go beyond that, we want to push our earnings above that, we have some work to do. We have some work to do to look at the limiting beliefs that tell us, I can't have that. Things like, well, if I want to double my income, I'm gonna need to work twice as hard, or I'm gonna need to offer twice as much as I do now.

That's the, that's not necessarily true. You know, if that were true, the wealthiest, there would not be enough hours in the day for the wealthiest people to work. So that money versus time thing is not true, and there's, there's rafts of, of limiting beliefs about money like that.

So if you want to increase the amount you are earning and improve your money mindset, irrespective of what your job range is, so even though the RVN role is, is really poorly paid, you can still improve your money mindset within that by looking at starting to do the work on what do I feel I'm worth. So if I, if I wasn't RVN, what would I like to be earning? What do I feel it's OK for me to earn?

What am I saying to myself about that, . And what am I willing to allow myself to, to receive? And, and see if you can push that thermostat up, because, it's like all these things, you can, you can block it with, with negative beliefs.

So there probably will be nurses, people out there with a veterinary nursing qualification who are finding a way to use that, that is surpassing. The normal use of nursing, so that might be possible. But if you have an RVN equals low pay, black and white, there's, that's absolutely categorically across the board given, your brain will stop looking for any opportunities that contravene that belief.

We're gonna go a lot more deeper into removing limiting beliefs on Tuesday. . The second factor is really looking at what you would like.

So when we were a I think it would have been a life balance builder when I was saying, right, think about what you want your life to be like, and, and, and those set points of the lowest amount of money you can get by on for a while, but what is it that you want to be earning? So what would a good level of income feel like to you? What's that number?

Is it 400, 500, 70K, 200,000, that feels realistic, for you. And then it's looking at, OK, well, if I have, if, if I want to earn £60,000 and I feel that that's really important to me, and that's gonna make me happier, and at the moment, I'm working in a job role where the most I'm ever gonna earn is about 30,000 pounds, then, you know, on a good day, maybe mid-20s, if I'm lucky. Then there is a gap.

So to bridge that gap, you would either need to learn more about. How money works and how to make money because, because, you know, those book references I gave at the end of that section, there's, there's ways that you can The concept of you need money to make money is also not true, and there's when you start looking into it, there are ways that you, I'm still trying to suss this out. So if I figure this one out, I'll let you all know.

But, but allegedly, you don't necessarily need money to make money. And when you, when I read it, I'm always like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I'm still trying to learn to, to put it into practise.

But either you can think of other ways to raise and generate and create money or get your money making money for you, or, yes, you would have to look and think, right, well, that particular career path is not gonna get me to that. So if earning £60,000 is really, really crucial and that's gonna bring my life joy and meaning. And I can't find that.

I don't believe I can get that right now, then yes, it would be worth looking at, as you said, maybe if the animal part's important to you, how else could you express that and then look to use your skills and talents to do something that that would command a higher level of income. So I hope that's, useful if there's any more questions around that Cheryl, let me know, and I hope that's been useful for a few other people as well. OK, so.

Rosie, you're up next, Rosie was on call tonight, so, oh, Cheryl, you are on, you are here, brilliant. Cheryl, let me know if that helped and made sense. Rosie, you're here as well.

Brilliant, fantastic. OK, so Rosie's question. She's saying, I'm all right, but like everyone, finding the rapid pace of change and inability to plan anything very stressful.

Absolutely Rosie, I really feel you on that. Oh, that's OK. I didn't, Rosie's saying, hi, sorry I'm late, RTA, well done for making it.

And I hope your, your patient is OK. So, yes, a timely challenge to focus on reducing perfectionism for sure, absolutely. Like I say, we're being really cool to look at, I'm using all my my own mindset ninja tools and techniques constantly all day on myself at the minute.

So Rosie's question is, I have a lot of struggles with anxiety and I've always thought of myself as an anxious person. I think you were saying in the webinar that it's better to try and move away from this sort of labelling as it becomes a limiting belief. But I feel that to ignore or downplay my anxiety is both not true.

And doesn't do justice to the fact that a lot of things are really quite difficult for me that wouldn't bother other people, you know, people who perhaps weren't struggling with anxiety, and I've worked really hard to get to where I am now. I guess it feels like denying a big part of my lived experience to downplay the anxiety. Can you suggest a reframe to help me move away from being defined as an anxious person that doesn't just whitewash everything?

Yeah, absolutely right, I really hear you on this. So. Yes, definitely.

I can, I can give you some really good reframes. So, firstly, what I was meaning when I was talking about that, it's really just conceptually in your own head, separating yourself from the anxiety, so that it, it's, it's not the anxiety is not the totality of who you are. So, so it's a, it's a subtle shift.

So rather than saying I'm an anxious person. Which is quite black and white and it defines all of you as an anxious person. Even just a shift to, I'm a person who works hard to overcome anxiety or, or work through anxiety.

It just, it there's just that one sense of separation and I'm me, and I'm OK and I'm absolutely fine and I'm a person who currently. Has to do quite a lot of work to, to live with and, and deal with the anxiety that I that that currently is around you. So it's because that's kind of phase one, it's just like you are not the, you are not the anxiety.

It doesn't define you, but yes, at the moment, it's something that's a part of your experience and it has been for a while. However, You do if you continue doing what you're doing with the personal development work and the journey, and you keep learning about it and you keep leaning into finding out more about it, working out your triggers, learning the latest neuroscience on it. I'm not gonna say that it's just gonna snuff out and disappear, but the threshold for what.

Triggers it can go up and up and up, and you can change how you respond to those triggers. And you, it's not, it's not something, and I can say this as a person who has come out the other side of absolute hyper anxiety that was so debilitating for a, for a number of years, and that from, from all the studying I've done on it, it was such a massive, massive relief to read that, that, that it's not just something that once you've got it, that's it, you're gonna have it forever. Yes, some of us have hard wiring that's definitely tilted towards that, towards that way of responding.

However, anxiety isn't something that some people have and some people don't have. Absolutely every person who has a normally functioning brain will experience anxiety. So the amygdala amygdala lizard reptilian part of our brain.

Needs to be able to feel anxiety to keep us safe. But for some people, that's only triggered in certain circumstances, maybe like what's going on at the minute. Whereas for those of us that have work that work with it or struggle with it or who deal with it, it's kind of there in the background all the time, or it can be really, really, really present a lot of the time.

So, . But like I say, it's not something that some people have and some people don't have. So it's just that recognition that I am a person who works hard to overcome anxiety rather than I am absolutely definitively an anxious person and I will always be so.

The, the second is also kind of befriending your anxiety in a weird way and thanking it and being OK for, for so. It's it's understanding that the anxiety response is there to try and keep us safe. So our brain is not just trying to be a right royal pain in the backside, I shall not swear.

That's, it's pattern matching to to other experiences in your past, thinks it sees something that's a match, and then you get literally the wave of emotion, and it does that to try and keep you safe. It's not so helpful in a lot of the, the, the, the situations that we're in now, but it's instead of being frustrated at it, it's also about being able to kind of when you're trying to shift anxiety, it's it's, it's thanking your brain for doing its job of trying to keep you safe. But then being able to say to it, look, thank you.

I, I see what you're trying to do, but I, right now in this moment or in this situation, I am safe and I'm OK and I choose to start to respond differently. So it's, but it's not feeling, it's being able to be the, the, the anxious part of you, Rosie, has got you to where you are now. So everything, everything that you look around you, as you say, you've had to work really, really hard to get to that, to the point now.

And the anxiety has been a part of that journey. So, it's been part of all the things that have got you to this point. And you can Around with gratitude at all the things around you.

However, there's a really brilliant, book called What Got You Here Won't Get You There. So it's just if you want, if you would like to start to try and shift that moving forward, it's recognising that that's been my response quite typically up to now. However, I'm gonna keep choosing to try and work on responding in a slightly different way as we move forward.

So, and we are gonna cover anxiety in a little bit more detail on Tuesday, so. I'll just unmute you for a second. Is that what comes up for you when I talk through that, Rosie?

Yeah, I think that's helpful. I think it's just . For me, because it's been a, it's been something that I've been working on for a while, but it becomes, I suppose it's a bit like the vet identity takeover, that it takes over your identity so much, it becomes hard to relearn your identity without it.

Yeah, so I guess it's part of the thing that's just . A tricky thing to, adjust to over time. I'm already, I'm already aware of it before I started doing this course that that's in a, you know, that is a reframe that needs to happen, or would be good to happen, would be better, definitely.

And it's also about being self-compassionate with, with yourself, that, that we become used to the anxiety response. So it's kind of like. It's not very pleasant, but you at least recognise it and it sort of feels familiar.

I don't, I don't know. That's I know when I was when I used to really struggle with it, it, it, there's thinking about what it would be like without that, or almost, it, it's just, we, we can become a little bit habituated towards the way that we tend to respond to things. And even though sometimes it's not very pleasant, we can cling to it a little bit because change is always disconcerting.

Yeah. Yeah. So yes, it's, it's, yes, it can be, yeah, absolutely.

There's a level of discomfort with it. And so, and, and so it's about affirming that yes, there's a discomfort level there, but the discomfort doesn't necessarily always mean that we should move away from it because that's our, you know, our negativity bias, we're hardwired, negative stimuli move away from, pleasurable, enjoyable things move towards. And so when the discomfort of a change.

We naturally want to remove ourselves from it. But it's, but which was helpful thousands of years ago, but now there are some changes, obviously, that we do actually want to move towards. And, and I think, you know, collectively, what's going on at the minute is, is, you know, we're being massively called to change, you know, on a global level.

And that is massively, I think, contributing to the fact that it does feel so uneasy at the moment. However, You know, just, just taking it out to this slightly more global perspective at the moment, I do think a lot of good stuff is going to come, come from it. So it's being able to have an affirmation around, yes, change feels uncomfortable, but many really brilliant things can be on the other side of sitting with that discomfort and working through it.

Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, I think it's helpful. See how the, we're gonna cover more of this on Tuesday next week, so see if if there's any other useful bits in there.

Cool, thank you. We on there. Lovely.

OK, so Rebecca, Becca Ming up next, so, . Now I know you're here because I saw your lovely smiley face at the beginning, so there we go. .

Beckett is saying, I'm really struggling to, I, I am struggling to identify my own genius. However, despite that, I do feel like I'm gaining some insights into you when I'm at my best. She's saying, I've noticed, and the current situation has really brought us into sharp focus, that I'm at my best when firefighting.

So responding to emergencies or when normal conditions are disrupted, working in resource poor conditions and ultimately when you're just trying to do your best. I think this is also related to enjoying a new challenge like starting a new job, setting up a new business, and I, I feel I can be calm, logical, reassuring, and see a way forward. Conversely, I also enjoy routine tasks where I can get my head down, crack on and feel like I can just tick things off.

In clinical practise, she was saying I used to enjoy the routine vaccination appointments and communicating with owners about general good care practises. What I don't enjoy is dealing with ongoing issues or long term problems. I find these much more stressful.

However, I'm not sure whether these are the key to unlocking my zono genius or whether they're just related to things like my values, working elements. So it's a great question, Becca. I would say you've definitely got the beginnings of a potential zone of genius in there.

It, it's certainly sounding, you know, that, that sounds like a, a, a really helpful and useful insight. I was casting my eyes back, I've got it up here on the side of my screen. I'm not gonna share it, but, I was looking at your HBDI, your psychometric profiling, Becca, and reminding myself of your thinking preferences.

And, it, it, it makes total sense when you look at your particular thinking preferences on the HPVI. So, so, so you've got a really big strong preference in that yellow quadrant area, with things like being, being able to think holistically, imaginative, intuitive, doing things simultaneously and having kind of a spatial awareness of how moving parts fit together. And when we look at your profile under pressure.

You, you've, you've got primary preferences in that area, but also the logic, ration and reason, and also the kind of planning. So that makes sense that you would in in those situations where it's all over the place and nothing's set in stone, that your brain. Can, can look at those different moving parts and come up a bit, and then the left side of your brain can come in there with, OK, what do we need to do about it?

And that's, that is definitely not something that everybody would be able to do because a lot of people kind of go to pieces a bit when it's all uncertain and there's a lack of resources and nobody knows what's happening. Be particularly any very high preference green quadrant. I know not everyone on here has done the psychometric profiling, but there's, there's one area that's very, very much about systems process, detailed, tried and tested, and so, and that's really commonly high in head nurses, for example, who organising a lot of things.

So, so that's, it would make sense. The, the other thing, Rebecca, is it's quite common in, in entrepreneurs, obviously, I know you're, you're working within your own business, to be Less turned on by the sort of the the operational grumbles and sorting out long term problems, because in a, in a way, that's kind of what an opts manager or a general manager type role is for. And actually, when if you are quite good at the ideas generation or being able to sort out those acute situations, then that does sound like it's, it's sort of more the place where your, your particular linking of skill sets really comes into its own, so.

That definitely sounds like the beginnings of being worth exploring because how you would then explore that to go, or is that my zone of genius or not, would be to then experience, you know, take action that allows you to engage in that more. I'm guessing that there may, there may be scope for doing that with within your own business. And also looking to see the, the bits that is more dealing with long term ongoing issues, can those be Done by other members within the team or outsourced so that you can stay more in those more novel situations.

Does that, let me just unmute you for a second, what, what's your response to that? Hi, yeah, no, absolutely, and actually, before, COVID-19, the plan was to get in, an ops manager, so I could get rid of all those things that I really don't like doing, . So yeah, I think it's just really brought it into focus that actually when everything is up in the air, I actually do enjoy that change.

I enjoy that challenge and I, I actually feel that it brings out the best in me. Yeah, yeah. And they're definitely, that's definitely the feeling that you, that that feeling of, of just, yeah, it sounds like it does put you into flow a little bit or it makes you feel like actually I'm a bit in my element here or I'm dealing with this really well.

And it's, and it's that thing where it might feel easy to you, but it completely wouldn't to a lot of other people. It's that, that sort of distinction. So I think obviously very challenging times at the moment.

We've been chatting this week a little bit, but we are, I think, talking weeks. I know the longer term ramifications are going to go on for a bit, but hopefully we can all start the rebuild process in in a matter of weeks, and then that would definitely, I think would be worth getting that back on the cards and exploring it further. Yeah.

Cool, thank you. I've lost you a second. Can you just mute yourself again, no worries cheers, .

All right, OK. Ali, you're up next and you're on the call. Great.

Allie's saying echoing what I'm sure most people will be feeling as well. Let me just have a sip drink. I'm sure that we're all struggling this week.

I can't even think straight and to come up with a specific question. So I guess my question is sort of general one and how to take a step back and view a situation as a whole to kind of come up with a day by day way to go forward if that makes any sense, makes total sense. Well, at least I'll tell you my response, then you can say, have, have I understood it correctly.

So the first thing. And it's a little bit like what I was saying to Cheryl on the first question is just acknowledging. What's going on and, and the sort of without fanning the flames of fear and anxiety, just acknowledging sort of the enormity and the unprecedented nature of this.

So this is the largest ever joined up global response to a pandemic ever. My father is 80 next year. I was chatting to him when this all kicked off because he remembers the Asian flu epidemic when he was a child.

And he remembers getting it and, and I was saying to him, how did everyone deal with it back then and he was just like, you, you, you can't compare it, it, the world worked in a completely different place. No, we didn't know back then what every other country was doing. There wasn't the data and stats and analysis and all the tech and all of that kind of stuff.

And, you know, even the other night, my husband's playing some iPhone game thing at the moment where you play with players from all over the world, and within 5 minutes, he was chatting to people from Singapore, New Zealand, South Korea, and the UK, and everyone was talking about lockdown and stuff. And so this is just, it's just something that globally we've never seen before, and certainly, this is the largest disruption to normal life in peacetime in the UK ever, ever. So part of, part of it is completely taking the pressure off yourselves and and acknowledging what's going on and the fact that that is going to put all of our brains into virtually constant fight, fight or freeze.

So you might oscillate between feeling angry at people who aren't obeying rules, or just frozen and not able to to do anything. Or feeling the fear. Now we don't have to stay in fight, flight or freeze, and I'm gonna give quite a lot of techniques and tools tonight for catching yourself in that and being able to take yourself out of it as frequently as you can for as long as you can.

Not because we shouldn't be feeling it. But just because it's the mindfulness piece, it's about recognising it, acknowledging it, going, it's OK to feel this, it's OK to not feel OK at the moment, it's OK to be concerned and worried. It's a lot for us to be dealing with, it's a lot of uncertainty.

However, what tools and techniques can I use to just ground myself, bring myself back to the present moment, because, you know, I'm guessing you guys, you were all here sitting at desks on the computer tonight and not currently poorly, so. Or, or really, really poorly. So, actually right now, in this absolute present moment here, we're all OK.

We're safe, we're OK, right now in this second, which actually is the only second that exists, we're OK. And it's, it's, it's tuning in to that resilience and hope. We are incredible as a species.

There is far more amazing stuff happening than there is. The media will always focus on what's going to get most eyeballs on their content. So a lot of all of what you'll see in the media, not all of it, but 80% of it will be fights in Tesco over bog roll, people spitting at an NHS nurse, and, you know, just kill a deadly virus and don't see your mum on Mother's Day, it'll probably kill her.

It's, it's not good for our amygdala, but the media are not there to make us feel safe. The media are there to get eyeballs on their content, so. We need to take take a little bit of control back really, in terms of being able to choose our inputs, choose what we're tuning into, connect, you know, there's so much connection going on.

I don't know if you guys are are finding this as well in terms of I've been reaching out, or people, friends have been reaching out that maybe I wouldn't have been bothered to make the effort on a Tuesday evening to, to speak to you, but we're all checking in with each other. And there are amazing things going on. I think in people's individual communities of, of everyone supporting, the response within the veterinary profession generally has been amazing.

So tuning into those positive stories, looking for what good things are coming out of this and knowing that. I'm not saying it won't be difficult, I'm not saying there won't be losses, I'm not saying there won't be financial implications, but we can get through this and we will do and we are doing and we'll do it together. So it's finding people, be careful who you're having conversations with.

Choose, I'm not saying avoid anyone who's in the fear, you need to support them as well, but make sure that you're connecting with people who are in a bit more of an upbeat, positive or hopeful state of mind when you're having a wobble, because you never know, 2 days' time, you might be feeling quite upbeat and they might be having a wobble. So we've all got to keep reaching down, grabbing each other, pulling ourselves back up, and then reaching out when we, when we're like, actually I'm having a really shit wobbly day, I need some help. And that's how we will, we'll get through it.

I've got a piece from where I was thinking, I think, yeah, so. It's also using this the the self compassion techniques work brilliantly for this, so self kindness is going. Sod trying to do the beautiful rainbow coloured schedule of home schooling, the kids can just play.

I'm just going to enjoy. I'm going to declutter a bit of the house that I've not done for ages and actually take the pressure off, feeling like you've got to suss everything out and do all the perfect home stuff and figure out what's going on with the job. We have to, to an extent, relax, surrender, let go of the need to control everything, cause there's a lot of stuff that we just can't control at the moment.

And actually, there's some, some, you know, if you have been furloughed or you are at home, there might be an opportunity to be spending some time that you just wouldn't normally have. And I know the background level of anxiety will be there, but it's, it's, it's trying to give yourself a break periodically. So don't be constantly.

Scrolling or looking at the news and trying to find some normal activities to do as well, and just knowing that this will pass, so keep affirming to yourself this too shall pass because it absolutely will, for most of us. It, it, it's not going to, you know, it would, for most people, I say, who will get this are going to just have a cold or nothing, or, you know, a flu, bad fluy cold, and then they'll come out the other side. And I know we're worrying about relatives or friends or people that we know, or you or there maybe some of you who are in the vulnerable category as well.

And so then it's all, it's also really, really important. To, to just finding any finding any little bit of relief from the fear and the anxiety. Anything at all that lifts your mood and lifts your spirits is gonna help your immune system.

It's gonna make you feel more connected, and that really does, that mind body connection is so strong. So it's thinking right. What can I do that would feel good to look after my health.

So just going easy on the booze, and which is difficult at the moment, right? Cause I'm just definitely wanting to dive down half a bottle of wine every evening at the minute, but I'm just having a glass. I'm going, right, just, you know, keep your immune system all right, making sure you're taking supplements, drinking lots of water, trying to rest even if you can't sleep and just, you know, looking after, looking after your body.

So, Ali, does that, does that kind of answer your question? Is that, does that help a little bit? On my blog, I did a thing about how you can just be having little strategy planning sessions like every 3 or 4 days as well.

So have a look at that if you haven't as well. So let me know if that helps. .

Catherine, is Catherine on here? Yes, she is. Hi Katherine.

So Catherine's saying, how do we deal with the fact that we can't help all of our patients or treat them to the same standards that we're used to, and some animals may suffer because of this. So I'm, I'm trying to keep abreast, Catherine, of what all the, I keep, I know the RCVS and the BVA have been really, really good with coming out with all their changing guidance. With trying to run all the vet Harmony stuff, I've not been able to keep fully on top of it.

So I'm not, I, I know there are lots of changes. I know there's owners, all the routine, thanks, Alice. Alice says makes sense, thank you.

There's people, you know, owners waiting in car parks or all routine treatments and things, so, being stopped and that kind of thing. So I suppose what I would say to this one. It it's like an extend it's, it's needing to extend.

The acceptance and release tools that you already use on a weekly basis, so. It, you know, just generally in practise, we have that thing of, we, we even just when all this is not going on that we can't save them all. We can't be there for them all, we can't .

Oh brilliant, Nicola's posting yoga with Adrianne, yeah, absolutely, so, resources, loads and loads of fantastic online stuff at the moment that people are very generously giving for free. Adrian, you can get anyway, can't you on a, yes, she's saying for Ali and anyone else who needs some more headspace. Yeah, definitely.

Thanks for that, Nicola, that's really helpful. Yeah, so Catherine, it's just extending that sort of, quite often, you know, as, as you know, we, the, the, the, we can't save all our current patients sometimes from financial restrictions, sometimes because of owner compliance, sometimes because of the disease process itself. And that, that it's about at the moment, we've all really got to lean in to what is within my control that I can have an impact on, and I can do anything about whilst protecting my own and my family's safety.

And what is actually currently just beyond the scope of my control, and I don't have any control over it. I can't influence or impact it and therefore, Continuing to recognise it, it's the self compassion thing of recognising that that's a painful thought and that that's gonna cause you to feel a sense of suffering when you empathise or think about an animal's suffering that you can't alleviate. And it's being really, really kind and gentle and allowing yourself to feel that feeling and recognising and acknowledging that that's not nice.

But then, but then continuing to focus on that or play situations through your mind or think about specific cases that you know and then ruminate on them and then think about the owner and just going down the rabbit hole and keep your mind kind of staying on it, isn't actually, if it's not something you control, can control that's not gonna help the owner, it's not gonna help your stress levels. And sometimes I think what's what it's like. A lot of pets get better sort of almost any way or in spite of what we do.

I'm not talking about like chronic long-term patients that are on tonnes of meds, but if you think about what happens when it snows. When it snows and no one turns up, for a few days or it all goes really quiet, you would think, when it stops snowing, we would just be deluged with patients coming in. But the reality of it is, well it certainly was when I was in practise, that that just didn't happen.

It's like, it goes really quiet when it snows, and then it goes back to a normal level when it's not snowing again, and that's because a lot of the patients have got better anyway. And there are those cases where we're giving treatment or we're administering something and the patient gets better and we don't really have, we don't really fully know whether that was because of what we gave it or because it was gonna get better anyway. So there'll be a section of the animals under that graph who would just spontaneously get better or would, you know, the, the, in thinking about it in terms of, that way.

. And again, it's just kind of, it, it's using those compassion tools on yourself, of, of self kindness, shared common humanity, you know, there's going to be a lot of, a lot of veterinary people feeling like this at the moment. It's the same for people, you know, NHS staff in the intensive care units where they perhaps haven't got enough intensive care beds, and they're having to make some really phenomenally tough decisions about who gets one. And so that is a shared suffering that everyone on the front line, whether it's with people or with animals, is having to make those, those really, really difficult decisions.

And then the mindfulness piece is, is about not over identifying yourself with that. So not labelling yourself as I am this bad, but I'm a bad person for not having helped with that, or I'm responsible for that or all those things. It's about trying to just release it when it's not within your control.

So Catherine, does, does that. Does that help? Does that, are there any bits in there that that that shift that for you a little bit?

Yes, thanks. OK, good. .

Right, Nikki Lau, the old drink. So Nikki's saying, I know this topic's been dealt with a couple of times before, and it's something that I am a bit bad for anyway, but I'm struggling to keep in mind that the course we are doing is a longer term process. I feel at the moment with all the uncertainty with working, a lot of pressure is being added to figure out what I'm doing, you know, what the alternatives are, what ways I could bring in some money, and I can be a bit impatient with feeling like I should have all the answers instantly, but the current situation feels like it's turbocharged the pressure here.

Any particular tips to try and keep a bit more realistic and stay calm about things. And she's saying, I'm trying to do the self compassion thing in that it's a difficult situation and everyone is in a similar boat, but any other advice would be gratefully received. Yeah.

OK. Nikki, this is completely normal given the the situation that we're in at the moment. The reason it's so amped up is that.

But the, you know, even in normal situations, we don't tend to like uncertainty. uncertainty is an uncomfortable feeling. I was, I think we're talking about that even a little bit earlier on this evening.

It, it's, it's natural to want to close that gap between where I am, but I don't want to be, and where I'm going to be, but I don't know what's in between that. There's, there's an uncertainty there, and we just want to close that gap. So you, because it feels, it's, it also feels like a vulnerability, you know, vulnerability, if you've watched the Passion and Purpose webinar is defined as any time when there is uncertainty.

An emotional, uncertainty, emotional risk, and something else, something else is now my head's a bit time. But certainly the emotional risk with, you know, when your career changing is what if I make the wrong choice, or what if I don't know what to go to, and that feels emotionally risky and it feels a bit vulnerable, or what if I'm not good at it, or all those things, and obviously there's an uncertainty, with it as well. So at the moment.

What we're going through globally is like global collective uncertainty on steroids. So you're absolutely right to do the shared common humanity thing if it's just, it's just gone warp speed for, for all of us in terms of that. So, as, .

Rosie was saying at the start of her question, this is a really good time to kind of lean into shifting perfectionism. It's also a really, well, we're kind of having to, whether we like it or not, look at how we deal with and manage uncertainty, as you're doing with this question, Nikki, going, but how can I make this feel less, . Because the thing, one of the things that I think.

Amps up the vulnerability thing for us as vets is that we're one of the professions where we are taught to try and eliminate vulnerabilities and uncertainties as much as possible. So when you think what we do with diagnosis and a consult, we're trying to reduce and eliminate the vulnerabilities and uncertainties because they equate to the potential death of the animal. So you don't really want uncertainty when you're doing surgery or when you're dealing with a case.

And so we're constantly going, right, what tests can I do that will tell you whether I've got the diagnosis? What, what things can I do to make this outcome as certain as possible and control for that? Similar professions are lawyers who are trying to minimise the uncertainties of loopholes and risks, and engineers are trying to minimise the uncertainty of whatever's going on with whatever they're building.

So rocket scientists who are making things that are gonna shoot up into space, if they don't minimise the vulnerabilities and uncertainties, things will drop out of the sky. So when you have a job that does that, we then find it even harder for those professions to go, what I'm meant to lean into vulnerability and be OK with uncertainty, really? Yes, really.

We, we do, for all the reasons mentioned, but it's harder for those of us in those professions to start with. What I would say, though, is because we're all intelligent, fast learners and high achievers, once we get these concepts, those people in those professions will then tend to be able to put it into practise quicker and faster. So that's, that's the good, news bit of that.

. So when you have a profession that wants to minimise uncertainty and vulnerability, that's called situational vulnerability, and it's not the same as relational vulnerability. So what Brene is talking about is more to do with the, with the self and your self-awareness being authentic. It's not to do with the specific technical part of your job.

And that's, I think, a really, really important distinction because we want to minimise uncertainty when we're in vet mode. We wanna actually get really comfortable with being OK with leaning into the discomfort of it when we're looking at our personal life or any decision making or career changing. So, it, so we know that we've, it, it, certainty is a bit, it's seductive, we like the concept of it.

But it's not really real. The, the one, the one constant that is in life is that things change, and so the, the best guide that we have for that is using our intuition. But we tend to stop using our intuition when if a decision hasn't panned out well for us in the past, like, let's say choosing to go into veterinary and then working really hard and achieving that and being good at it, but then going, actually it's not making me feel the way that I should do, we can then sort of start to mistrust our own judgement and go, oh my God, maybe I'm making decisions or and we break that radar with ourselves.

So two red flags that you know you're doing that is if you start polling people, so if you're trying to make a decision and you just keep asking, lots and lots of different people because you want that external validation instead of trusting perhaps what, what you might be feeling inside. Or, and this is where I think you. Might be right now, Nikki, is we go bull in a china shop instead.

So our, our brain just goes, I hate this uncertainty. I hate not knowing. I hate not, you know, so I just want to make this decision.

I want to make it as quickly as possible to just get rid of the uncertainty because I don't like it. So would you, would you say that's where you are more at the moment, as in you just wanting to make that decision to get rid of it, the, the, the, the discomfort of the uncertainty. If you are.

Then it's just again a little bit like I was saying to Cheryl, it sounds more like that, yes, she's saying, yeah, absolutely. So part of it is first having an awareness that not all uncertainty is bad and that actually what happens if we put in a china shop it and just make the quickest decision we can. Is that then often we don't necessarily make the best decision for ourselves and then that decision then doesn't tend to pan out quite so well.

So then we go even more, oh my God, I'm not good at making decisions and then we, it's like self-fulfilling. If we're willing to tolerate the impatience, to try and release it, to sit with to know that it's a process, to allow it to unfold, to do the work that we talked about in module 3, and to be open to ideas. I'm not saying it has to take forever, but just sort of being willing to do whatever you need to do to, and, and part of getting past that uncertainty is, is choosing to trust, so.

Trust in and faith really. So trust in the availability and the opportunities out there. So trusting and believing that there are opportunities and there will be things out there that you can do that will generate the income and that you can enjoy, because if you trust and know that they're there and you hold space for that, you'll keep looking for them and you'll be open.

If you secretly believe that they're, or even not secretly believe that they're not there and you don't think they're there, you, you, you won't see the little trail of breadcrumbs that could lead you. Right to it. I was seeing that a little bit with Becca earlier on.

I think 2 or 3 weeks ago we had a question about not got scooby with the zone of genius. We're now only a few weeks further down the line, and Rebecca has got, to my mind, what is quite a, it's kind of a crouton, not a bread crumb. And that's kind of, and that's in 2 or 3 weeks.

So, so it's, it is kind of, you're looking for that little trail of breadcrumbs that you can follow. And knowing that it's OK to be the, the, the, the discomfort and the uncertainty, it's OK for it to be there. It's not abnormal, it's not a sign telling you to abandon this process.

And if you can mindfully be with that, even though it's not, not very pleasant, and just to make sure that you are making, not, you know. A decision that feels good for you, then, that's that's that's a good thing to be able to do. And so the second, so trusting that the opportunity is there, trusting in this is a process, and then just trusting in yourself as well, and having an affirmation that I will find.

I will find something to move to. You're not necessarily wanting to find that, like we said right at the beginning, the absolute, I must get this one move completely right, and it must be everything, because if, if you do make a move out of first opinion standard of general practise, your very first hop is probably unlikely to be the only hop you make, because that's a hop of discovery that's gonna then show you more about yourself and allow that process to evolve, so. Here it's really if you definitely feel like you want to change something, which it sounds like you are, it's having, it's, it's having the belief that I can make a hop.

Don't have to get the hop exactly right. The opportunities are out there, I trust in myself, I trust in this process and, and. You know, that's, that's leaning into trust and cultivating your intuition can really help.

To, to listen to the messages coming from inside, you need space. So you need, we need to have some white space. If every second of your day, from when you get up in the morning till your head hits the pillow at night, is filled with tasks and doing and organising and sorting and everything, then those our intuition whispers really quietly.

So when, when there's all that noise going on, we can't hear, you, there needs to be periods of reflection, there needs to be time when you're just doing. Nothing, or doing some mindfulness or having a mindful dog walk or, or whatever it is, so there, there needs to be a little bit of white space that again will, will tap you back into your intuition. So, I'm aware that I'm kind of rambling a little bit tonight cos my head's quite tired, but Nicky, let, let me know if there's any little themes in there, that, that, that help.

And if not, come back to me on it. I'm just checking. Yeah, I think I've covered most things within that.

So yes, it does help. Thanks, brilliant. OK.

Right. Nicola McCallum, you're up next. So, Nico's got a really interesting question.

So she's saying it may be outside the scope of, the course. No it isn't, it's fine. But I just wanted to see if you have any advice.

With all this thinking about allowing in vulnerability and what it can bring to your life, what do you do if someone close to you is anxious about vulnerability and tries to avoid it as a result? Said individual is very uncomfortable talking about how they feel, and I don't think they're admitting to themselves that there's a problem, but it's difficult to watch and it must be more difficult to experience, . This is really, yeah, I really, I, I get you on this one, Nico I've been in similar situations with people that I love or care about or work with before and it's kind of like.

As you start to become consciously aware of these concepts and, and, and as they resonate and you see or feel that they're true because they're so universal, and you get those aha moments and you're like, OK, I can sort of, I can see, I may, may not be quite there yet with the techniques, but I can conceptually get that and I can see that it's a good thing and you're sort of starting to move towards that, you're starting to practise some of these things. Instantly, it becomes much easier to see where people are not, where they're numbing, where they, where they're exhibiting any of those numbing things and where they're not, where they're seeing vulnerability as a weakness, or all of those things that that we can perceive about vulnerability if you don't know know that have this knowledge. .

It's, it's sort of a little bit proceed with caution because this, it kind of the student has to be ready. So they say like when the student is ready, the teacher would appear. So you have found your way to these teachings because it was the right time for you to hear them.

That's not coincidence. You've been drawn towards this course for a reason and, and this course has this content in it, and this, this is just, it was the right time for for you to hear this. There might have been other times potentially in your life where you could have heard these messages and they wouldn't, they might not have resonated or made any sense.

So, most people think the vulnerability and shame stuff doesn't apply to them. I certainly didn't to start with, like when someone first said, said, as people were kind of saying Brene Brown's really good, and I saw the thing about vulnerability. I was like, well, I'm not vulnerable.

I don't really, don't really, I'm not drawn to that as a title. But I'd heard so much about her. I listened to it and then I was just blown away and like, oh my God, everybody, they should be pumping this into 14 year olds at school.

So. But most people do feel like it doesn't apply to them until they hear the concepts and realise that, oh my God, it actually applies to all of us. So, so one way you can approach it is to say, you know, I don't know if the person that you're thinking of ever listens to podcasts or that type of thing, but you can say, I've just, I've listened to this really amazing audio, maybe say, I've come across it through the, the course that you're doing.

It has some really interesting concepts in it. I know the title sounds a bit weird, but it's, it's really interesting. Why don't you, maybe you could listen to half an hour of it and just see, because.

If you're not asking them to listen to 6 hours straight of it, you know, but if they, sometimes that's, I'm, I'm thinking of that because that's how I've got my husband to listen to a lot of these. I've gone, just listen to the 1st 10 minutes. If it's not your thing, it doesn't float your boat, that's fine.

But and he now does the same, does the same to me, and it can be quite a good way of inviting someone to have a listen without saying, right, you've got to listen to this 6 hours of content. But certainly her audio on the power of vulnerability, it's so relatable, she's quite easy to listen to, so that could be a good place to start. The other thing would be pointing him or her towards Rene's TED Talk, so.

She's done 2, she's done one on shame and 1 on vulnerability. They're both really good. I think the shame one was her original one.

You could, you could go for either of those because again, that's only 18 minutes long. It's very bite size, it gives an introduction to the concepts and then you've gotten in to say. You know, to, to talk about it a little bit more.

Ultimately there has to be a little bit of an acceptance and a release. We, none of us can work in someone else's energy. That person has to want to engage with it, and sometimes if you go in, and, and I know you know this because of the way you've asked the question, if you go in too much too soon, we'll just back them off and then they'll be like, so it's kind of softly softly.

And the other thing is, if that doesn't feel appropriate. If this person is close to you or you spend a lot of time with them, if they see you behaving differently or feeling more confident or having better self-worth or something, if they, if they comment on that or notice it or make any comment, that's a brilliant in to be able to say, do you know what's made a massive difference? It's been these concepts.

Why don't you have a listen or a watch. So does any of that sound like you might be able to, to, to covert stealth, get that under the nose of the relevant person? Or maybe we might need to think about it a bit more.

Let me know. I'm not sure. I, yeah, you are on a call, aren't you cos you posted the yoga with Adrianne.

Let me know, Nick, Nicola. They were my initial thoughts anyway. So, really helpful, thanks.

I've been listening to the audiobook, and he does listen to podcasts and things. So I think starting with the TED Talks would be helpful, yeah. Brene's literally doing a, she just did the first one last week.

If you Google Brene podcast, I think it's called, man, I can't remember. I'll see if I can post it out. She's doing one at the moment, and she's applying these all the shame and vulnerabilities, yeah.

I can't say what the acronym is for, Becca, can I, really, cos it's a bit rude. Effing first time, so FFT, but if you, if you, Brene likes a bit of a swear, if you Google Brene Brown FFT, then, she's talking about the global COVID thing in relation to, the shame of v stuff. Absolutely fascinating, really worth a listen.

So, good, glad that was helpful. Right. I think we're getting through.

I think we just got hand left. I think I've not forgotten anybody. Let me see, where are we?

Shall we done Rosie Becker, I think I, right, yeah, Han, Hannah, you're on the call, brilliant. OK, so, similar question to Ali, a little bit, . Hannah's saying I'm, I'm struggling with a specific question given the current situation.

I feel you. Trying to trying to trying to wrestle my my brain this week has felt so. Scattered, like, there have been times when I've literally been walking around my office just trying to make myself sit down at the desk because just answering normal emails has seemed like a ridiculous thing to have to concentrate on and do.

So, this is, this is really, really normal. Thanks Louise, I'll, I'll read that out in a second. .

So any recommendations Any recommendations for feeling guilty or being worried or anxious about my situation when I'm very lucky compared to what some people will be going through. When I think more about it, I feel really sad and it doesn't feel very proactive or useful to anyone. I guess I need, I guess I need to practise gratitude more at the moment.

So hopefully, Hannah then, Hannah, then, you know, some of the splits that we talked about already will be helping with that. What can be really, really useful, a lot of, a lot of what's happening at the moment is really pushing us into our heads. So our, our awareness is all in our mind and our minds are racing, and our minds are future tripping a lot.

So when you look at anxiety or depression, depression tends to come from ruminating on what's happened in the past and being regretful about things that that have happened in the past. Anxiety tends to be we're looking, we're rolling the state forward and we're worrying about what, what might happen. So at the moment, we're all future tripping like mad.

We're not being in the present moment and we're all up in our heads just thinking, thinking, thinking. So, the first thing is knowing that you, I'm telling you right now you do not need to feel guilty for worrying about your own situation. In in almost in anything we go through in life, if you want to look and find someone that's worse off than you, you'll be able to find that.

You'll also be able to find people that are better off than you. So comparisonitis in this instance, it is also not a helpful thing, because your, your own body, your own, feelings, your own family, your own situation is your situation. You're the only person who has that particular situation.

And it's important to you and it's that it it it's, it's OK to be worried about that. You don't, you have a right to be concerned about yourself, your family and your own situation just because other people may be in a worse situation at the moment doesn't invalidate those feelings. So acknowledge them, allow them to be there, apply the self compassion tools that we did last week, they're so applicable to this right now.

The other thing is it, so it's having that mindfulness piece as well. Acknowledging those feelings, which you are doing, cos you've written them in the question. Is the first step to them being able to push past them and release them.

What can really help with this is dropping from your head back into your heart, into your body. And I'll I'll tell you the technique for that in a second. So you can do this intentionally, so you can, you can, if you find your mind is absolutely racing, then a good recalibration is to set an intention that you're going to come back down out of your head and back into your own body.

Things that because, because the amygdala's response to this, as we said several times tonight, is to go into fight or flight. That doesn't tend to help, very much because when we're scared, we stop problem solving. When we're scared, we aren't focused.

We stop being loving, we're much less compassionate towards people and we stop seeing potential or opportunities. So all of the things that we need. Right now, get stopped by the fear.

So being able to, to slow that fear, deal with any feelings of guilt, all those things can really, really help us to stay in a frame of mind that is more pleasant to be in, and it is actually going to be more helpful to, to you and those around you. So things that don't help, things that amp up the fear is endlessly scrolling. On social or looking at the news, it's just looking obsessively at all the pings on WhatsApp and really reading what's going on in all the WhatsApp groups, engaging in what if conversations with other people or doing the what if conversations within your mind.

So those things don't help, they tend to amp up the fear, and I'm not saying don't do them, we're all, we're all going to be doing them periodically. Just be mindful of how much of your day is spent with that. And do what, what, what's needed to have a break from that.

So that might mean going and shutting your phone in another room and saying, right, for the next 2 hours, I'm not gonna have any screens on and I'm not going to look at my phone, and I'm gonna go and do a jigsaw or have a bath or play with my dog or my child or do a bit of work or or whatever, but I'm not going to. Stare constantly at the screen, I'm not saying that's what you're doing. I'm just, that's just generally because I think a lot of us are in that state of mind at the minute.

Things that do help, things that help you to come back into your body and your heart are things like journaling. So writing out those fears and feelings, getting them out onto the paper, getting them out of your mind and writing them down, absolutely hit the nail on the head, appreciation. One of my coaches, my own coaches is doing some brilliant videos at the moment daily, and she started a thing with her daughter, where they've got a, what are we grateful to the virus for, which sounds like a weird thing, but they're, they're kind of, they're looking for things that already they're changing within their family or that they've noticed or that they're doing, and that they wouldn't have been prompted to do.

She gave an example of, the other day when nothing, nothing was in the shops and there were no deliveries, she was thinking she wasn't gonna be able to get any laundry powder, and she was like, All right, do about 8. Was a week, how are we going to wash any of our clothes? And through having to be resourceful, she's then found this gadget that has stones or crystals in and it'll do like 84 washes and it doesn't release any detergent or chemical into the water.

So she's like, OK, now I'm doing better for the environment. And I would never have gone to look for that thing if I hadn't been worried that I wouldn't get laundry. That sounds like a small inconsequential thing, but if you think of that multiplied by every single family that's in a position to be able to do some problem solving in that way, there's a hell of a lot of good stuff that is going to come from this.

So looking for what you can appreciate. Looking around you for any of the positives, that's not burying your head in the sand and ostriching and pretending this isn't going on. It's about being able to find happiness in the smallest moments.

Joy doesn't come in one big light beam. It comes in lots of little tiny ordinary moments strung together. So look for those ordinary moments and really tune into them, .

When you can, affirmations can help as well, guided meditations, listening to, I'm listening to a lot of fear release, anxiety, confidence boosting, meditations, especially first thing in the morning and just before I go to bed. Moving your body helps, so I'm breathing. So calm, if you want to cultivate more calm, remember to breathe.

When we're nervous or when we're anxious, we almost stop breathing. And kind of almost hold our breath. And we do these tiny little shallow, ineffectual breaths, and we don't oxygenate.

And actually, you know, so if you're not doing some form of breath work, even for a minute or so every now and again through the day, it's a good time to start, as is moving your body, and just connecting with anything that shifts your mood a tiny bit. So anything that makes you laugh, we, we've been doing a lot of sticking tunes on Spotify and just having a silly dance. I was trying to.

Trying to teach Eva the Macarena the other night, and it was, there was a small amount of wine involved, and we just ended up falling about laughing, and it was just nice to have a little bit of a break from all, all the heaviness. So, the, the technique, you can, you a a nifty little tick, tick, trick for dropping from your head down into your heart is to literally just close your eyes, relax your body. And then just imagine, just visualise a little mini version of you.

Coming down from your head and back into your heart space, back into your body, so you're viscerally back in your body, you're not just racing away in your mind, so just a little mini version of you coming down. And just going back into your body. I get goose, I get goosebumps and I actually get a physical feeling when I do that, and it's just lovely.

And don't worry if you don't feel anything. But that can, you know, try, try that. I'm doing that like 10 times a day, just going, Oh, I've gone into my head again, right, come back into my body, and ground yourself.

I've got some really good suggestions coming in from other people too. Louise is saying Mel Robbins Mindset reset series of videos on YouTube is a great resource. Lots to listen to, but good if you're in the car or passing.

Time, yeah, I love Mel Robbins as well, she's kind of got a no bullshit attitude, she's great, . So Nick was also saying eco egg, if anyone's looking, they're great. Oh, is that, is that the washing the washing, thingy?

Awesome. Yeah, OK, cool. I'm gonna have to get myself one of those, and stop pumping detergent into the, to the waterways.

So, yeah. Brilliant. So it's, it's like I say, I remember just smiling as well and, and taking a breath, so, .

Basically, it's about recalibrating. So just like a blood machine needs recalibrating a few times in the lab on a daily basis, or, you know, we need to be recalibrating ourselves as and when we can and knowing that it's absolutely OK to have a really rubbish day where you can't do that and you're just in the fear, that's OK as well. It will pass if you don't hold on to it.

It will pass through and quite often then when we wake up the next day we, we can feel better and every single day is another opportunity. We wake up every single morning, able to choose again and able to work on our mindset again, so. And I think that's it.

So, has anyone else got any last ditch questions? Oh my God, guys, it's only 9:15. We're only 15 minutes over.

But, so it, it, it is good. You managed to stay on track tonight. I hope this has all been, been helpful.

I know we've, we've had quite a bit of kind of dealing with the current situation, but we couldn't really not do, to be honest with what's going on. And actually, it's, it's a really good, It's really, really amping up the need for us to, to use these tools and techniques. So, thanks, Hannah, thanks Jenny.

So Tuesday night, we have got the cultivating confidence masterclass, so we're gonna be tackling limiting beliefs, anxiety and. Something else which I have currently forgotten, but it was in the email that I sent out. So it's a good session, really excited for this one.

And again, I'll try and go back to making it a bit more interactive. I know the last two have been quite kind of me pelting you with information, and I I like it when there's more interaction. So, I shall look forward to putting the finishing touches to that, on Tuesday.

If anyone does have any questions in the meantime, obviously ping them over. And thank you for, being on here tonight. Thank you to everyone watching on the replay as well.

It's really, it's really, it's just really nice to connect. It's really nice to see all of you. It's, it's really helped me actually, needing to still show up and deliver this, and hopefully it's helping you, needing to still engage with it.

So let's all support each other through it. Just give a shout out, you know, we can chat in the Facebook group as well if anyone needs it. Brilliant.

I'm going to let you escape, nearly on time. So thank you to you all. Thanks Peter for hosting.

I know Rich was off on another webinar tonight, so, thank you to you all, stay safe and, I will see you all again on Tuesday next week.