Hello and welcome to our session today, which is just sort of a little bit less than half an hour exploring mindfulness and the observing self. And I really like the, the, the exploration of the three selves. And this session I'm gonna share with you today is really encouraging you to improve your mental health, improve your happiness by becoming more mindful about which self am I currently in today, because there are 3 selves which we'll look at in a moment, and 2 of those.

Selves really work for us most of the time, and there's one that very rarely works for us and so many of us sometimes if we're not mindful, if we're not curious, if we're not aware of which self I'm actually inhabiting today, we can get stuck in that less than useful self, and it can pollute and erode our happiness. And I think As we go through these very, very difficult, very scary times. That this is an opportunity for us to really learn more about who we are and how we are and.

The best way to do that is to find a greater sense of. Our observing self which we will focus on in a few moments so. What are these three selves?

Well, I think a really useful way to think about the selfs is if we move first and have a think about perceived self and perceived self, pretty much you could also describe that as your mindless self, your automatic self, your negative self, because perceived self pretty much comes from. Our conditioned sense of who we are. And how we perceive ourselves now because of the brains.

Capacity for survival. It very often will. Align our perceived self, our sense of who we are to the negative, so our perceived self.

Is something we start to build and acknowledge and discover, generally. When we're having a bit of a tough time, when we're children. Before we have fully developed our real sense of who we are, we have doubts, we have fears, and stuff happens in our life that is difficult, and some of that stuff gets very, very stuck.

And so maybe we develop a perceived self, and I am belief that sits there rather uncomfortably. At the core of that sense of perceived self, and I've shared this with some of you before, but, I struggle with numbers. I have, a real problem with counting, and I always have had.

And so for years and years in my sort of formative years, I was always in the, class with the kids that we, we had a lot of streaming, and I was streamed with the kids who. Couldn't tie up their shoelaces and who struggled academically, but I was actually quite clever. I just can and couldn't count.

And so I developed a perceived self that I am. Stupid. And Through the wonders of life and adventure and discovery, I discovered at some point that although I can't count, I can do other things really rather well.

And my perceived self changed and my perceived self moved from I am stupid to I am a fraud. And so maybe there's two perceived selves that crop up from time to time. And if I find myself inhabiting my I'm a fraud or I'm stupid persona self, I am not happy.

I feel on edge. I feel vulnerable. I'm crosser, more angry, more protective of self.

I'm not open and relaxed and happy. So my perceived self can very much get stuck. And mindfulness was my saviour because now what I can do is through mindfulness meditation, through exploration I can.

Very quickly catch myself and smile and say, oh, hang on a minute, which self am I? Am I going along with today which self is driving the Mike Scanlon bus? Oh goodness me, there it is.

It's the I'm a fraud. Well, we don't need that. That's old self.

Let's find. Actual self. Let's find that self.

So in this moment now. As I'm doing this film with you guys in actuality, I am someone who is trained in mindfulness. I am someone who's practised this stuff for 20 years.

I'm somebody who's published and so in my actual self. I'm not a fraud. I'm not stupid.

I'm a mindful man. OK. So there's my perceived self.

There's my actual self. But did you notice that to find my actual self, I had to step into my observing self, so my observing self becomes the conduit. The vehicle by which I can very gently.

Smile. Make no judgement, because there is no need to judge anything when we're being mindful. I don't move into my perceived self and say, Oh my word, you, you eejit, you've been stuck in perceived self.

In my mindful self. I smile. I make no judgement.

I just recognise. So it's a recognition. It's an acceptance.

And it's that sense of choice, that wonderful sense of choice, which of these selves. That I can choose to inhabit is the one that will take me towards the human being I want to go. Well, it's definitely not that negative perceived self.

If I move into my actual self. Then it gives me the opportunity to see each. Moments in our lives that we can perhaps perceive as a choice point.

And if I stop. And I use my breath to anchor my attention. I can recognise as I move into my observing self how I've been.

And I can choose how I want to be in the next few moments of my existence. So I can choose to be. From my observing self I can choose to be self in actuality.

I can choose to judge myself on my actions, on my behaviour, on my interactions rather than. On that old stuff. And I recommend wholeheartedly, you know, the importance of bold.

So we ask ourselves what is bold. So bold is an exercise that I still do every single day of my life, weekdays and weekends, because it literally takes a few seconds. And it's my way of ensuring that.

I am living my life. As the man I want to be. And the way I can bring my attention and harness my mindfulness is by using bold.

So I'll show you the exercise and explain to you how I use this, and I'm gonna recommend that give it a go. I don't expect that you, like me, will, Do a bold, 4 or 5 bolds every day for the rest of your life. You might not need to, I do, but you might choose to every now and then.

Just perhaps set your phone to. Make a noise a noise of, grabbing your attention mindfully, so we don't want a harsh. Alarm sound.

We want a very gentle, curious sound. So on my phone I've got the tinga bell sound, so it just tings. About 4 or 5 times a day and when I get that ting, that's the mindful reminder, Mike, do a bold.

If I'm in the middle of teaching or in the middle of a therapy session and my phone goes and dings, I'll wait till I finish, and then I'll do my bold. But having a reminder can be so helpful. And I'm gonna recommend that you use your phones and that you set a few reminders, maybe 3 or 4 each day.

And this is how we use bold. So I hear that ting sound of the bells. And that cues me into a smile.

And the smile cues me into the recognition that here's an opportunity to be curious, to find that mindful curiosity, to do a mindful checking. So the first B literally stands for take one mindful breath. So I'll stop.

And I'll gather my attention and I'll smile and I'll take one breath. And that breath has stopped me and it's anchored my attention. To this present moment.

And then I move into my observing self, the big eye, and I look at myself with curiosity but with no judgement, and I look and I say, OK, Mike Scanlon. What self have you been in? Have you been making the most of the choice points that life has offered you today?

And if what I find. Is that I've been. Hurrying up or I've been cross and angry or that I've been lazy or I've been vacant or I've been mindless.

I am very careful not to judge, but to merely observe and to see opportunity. Hm. And then I lean in.

And the lean in is almost like a way of gentling myself into my observing self, and I recognise that I lean in that at this very moment as I'm doing my bold. I have choice. And if I'm happy.

With the Mike scanlon that I found. I smile and I say let's have more of him. He works.

He he functions well. I like this, me. And if I find that.

The Mike Scanlon that I've connected with. Hasn't been effective. I don't perhaps warm to.

I smile and I say well done for noticing. And then the D is I make a decision. Come on.

Let's be mindful. Let's decide on how I want today to go. How do I want to be in this very moment?

How do I want my interactions to go? What do I want people to see when they meet me today? What difference do I want to make to the lives of the people around me today?

Make a decision, Mike Scan. So I've taken a breath. I've moved into that wonderful observing self.

I leant in with a real open curiosity. And I made a choice. And I've made a decision about how I want to be and that mindful check in.

It's something we can do every day. And if we choose to, we can actually turn it into a meditation. And that's what I'd like to do with you guys next, is let's just enjoy.

A bold meditation. So this is one that we can just stop and we can do sitting in our chair at work. Takes about 10 minutes.

And it's a really lovely meditation all on its own. And one that's full of psychological flexibility. And this is what I'm trying to.

Encourage you guys to build because there is a real understanding now that the more psychologically flexible we are. The more resilient we are in difficult times. And perhaps think of a tree.

On a windswept. Cliff That bends with the wind, and we look at that tree and we wonder how come that tree is the only one to survive in these harsh wild conditions. Because it's full of sap.

And it bends. And if we bend, we are resilient. We move with rather than always fighting against.

So let's find that psychological flexibility and let's enjoy a bold meditation. So I'll ask you to once again imagine the mirror in front of you. And as you settle into that.

And you smile and ask yourself, do I look dignified. Yes, I do. And we close our eyes.

And we find our breath. And we just gently attach our attention. To our breath without changing it.

Without manipulating it in any way. And we let go of the breath. And we take our attention to the very top.

Of our scalp And we begin to work down. Letting go of any tension. Any tightness that we might feel.

As we relax and we soften. Noticing our shoulders where so much stress resides. Checking in that our hands aren't in a fist.

That they're open and soft and relaxed. Finding our breath. Noticing that we're just breathing.

Relaxedly and calmly. Getting a sense of our feet. Firmly pressed down into the floor.

Getting a sense of us. As we sit here And we take this opportunity. To move our attention back to the breath.

And deliberately on purpose breathe in through our nose. Into our chest and into our tummy. And to hold it.

And to let go. And to use that sense of the breath. To stop.

And now I've stopped. And I've connected with this present moment. I can recognise.

That I have these three selves. And I can find perceived self, just notice it. And let it go And I can find self in actuality, just me.

Meditating And let it go. And I can choose to step into. My wonderful mindful.

Nonjudgmental observing self. And I can look at my day. And I can look at what I've accomplished today.

And how I've been with myself. And with others And I can notice the urge to be harsh. And to make judgments, but I let go of that.

And in my observing self. I can get a sense of Who I am And how I am. And how I've been And I can breathe in.

And as I breathe out, I can use that breath. To move in closer. And to lean right in.

And to ask myself. What matters to you most? What is the stuff of life?

That matters most. And we find the people that matter. And we find the values that.

We cling to that we adhere to that. Shape us and guide us. And we can lean right in and hold that sense of the stuff that matters.

And we can juxtapose it. With how we've been And we can let go of any judgement, we can just see. That right now I've opened up the opportunity for choice.

And I can't do anything. About what has been And I can't see very far into the future as tour. But in this present moment I can choose to be.

The good, kind, patient. Maybe even wise human being. Who lives a life in touch.

With the stuff of life. That really matters. And I can say to myself.

OK, make a decision, Mike Scanlo. Switch on that noticer part of your brain. Find that observing self.

Connect with the stuff that matters. And ensure. If you can, that as you move forward.

In each minute each hour. Each day That I'm mindful of the choices I make. And I'm mindful that I can make choices.

That allow me to come closer. To the human being. We want to be So we breathe We move into our observing cell.

We lean in To who we want to be and how we want to be. We lean in and find that which really matters. The stuff of life we value.

And we make decisions. And we make choices. And we notice the capacity for growth.

And we smile. And we allow ourselves to be pleased with ourselves. And we allow ourselves the peacefulness and the tranquilly of knowing.

That we are human beings. Autonomous. Human beings who will make choices.

And the choices we make. Can be governed. Influenced By the stuff of life.

That really matters. And finally we get a sense of How might life be? If I integrate bold.

Into every day of my life. Who would I be closer to? How would my life be different?

What would I do more of? What would I do less of? Would I smile more.

Would there be More peace In this frantic world. And when you're ready, Very gently. Just come back to the room.

And you've noticed that. We've been looking at Choice and our ability to choose which self we take in. To our work, and our friends, into our lives.

So that we make better. More mindful Choices So we can either use bold as a meditation as we just did, or we can use bold as a gentle mindful check-in reminder. Or we can use it in both ways.

Your choice Psychological flexibility. To choose Thank you so much for. Sharing this Session with me.

I really hope that you get as much from bold as I do and that you too go forward in your life. In that observing self. Making better choices.

Living happier Comma More valued lives. Thank you so much. Goodbye.