So welcome to people joining. On this Sunday. And as you'll see, the The theme of today's session, as you know, I like to try and theme these Sunday sessions, is taking valued action and I think this is a real, a really apt one again and, and, and I look around, try and test the water, look what's happening, look where people's fear is all going, look where.

People's resilience is coming from and try and judge what might be useful for our mindful community on a Sunday evening and I thought today we would have a bit of an explore of such a phenomenon of life balance really and that's because I've had a few people in the week who contacted me talking about, and this is so such a surprise to me. I remember Catriona. I completely putting me right that you know, that it hadn't been a bit of a doddle for or even any easier for those of you in this veterinary profession.

During lockdown that actually perhaps you're busier than ever and I must say back in primary care this week, there's a real shift happening where, where sort of secondary care, which you've dealt with most of the COVID stuff, is beginning to direct quite a lot of stuff back to primary care. So the GPs have had something of a gentle time for the last month and a half, but it's really beginning to get busy now. And so as it starts to get busy and as you guys remain busy and as a phenomenon occurs during COVID, I think when we start being much more on automatic pilot, you know, get up, do the same things, and socially distance, wear our masks, and we have to think so much about all that sort of stuff that I wonder whether sometimes we lose track.

Of the stuff that matters most. So the session one, section one of today is mindfully exploring that one, that which matters most. And It's been a real interesting one, this for me, because I have two daughters at home now and one of my daughters goes back to London tomorrow and you know I'll miss her terribly and the other daughter's gone away to Cornwall for a few days to take a bit of a holiday, hopefully not on crowded beaches.

She's a pretty sensible, good girl actually, so I doubt it. And but she's taken the dog and I suddenly realised just how much I value that dog and How bereft I'm feeling without him. And It leaves such a hole, and that made me really think and start to think about values.

So There's one plea really that when we start to look at this next exercise, we've really got to do it from that spirit of no judgement because this isn't about connecting with our inner critic, and it's very easy to do that with this exercise and to say there, look, look how rubbish you've been, you know, and that doesn't, that doesn't work at all. Remember that mindfulness is about this present moment. Concentrating in a particular way with no judgement.

And it's one of those times when we just remind ourselves that one of the most common voices that we as humans. Have an internal dialogue with is our inner critic, and you know that oh you're rubbish, you're useless, you got that wrong. What was that about?

And sometimes the inner critic is accompanied by emotion and a real down physicality or an anxious physicality. So we need to be really sure today that we hold this stuff lightly and that we watch out for any beginnings of any critical voice. And if we even catch the beginnings of a, of a, a, a, a tone towards self that isn't compassionate and warm, we need to bring our attention to it.

So let me, some of you would have seen this before. And so really, want to look at this mindfully and work our way through it and then finish tonight's meditation with a version of the three stage breathing space with an action step, but the action step is one that I'd like us just to have a bit of a think about before we get into the meditation, and that action step should stem out of this first exercise I'm going to do with you and I think this is one of these brilliant exercises that can bring us mindfully in touch with not only that which matters, but how we're responding to the stuff that matters and the stuff that perhaps doesn't matter. So let's be really mindful about this, so.

We're asking you to score. Now. I really thought hard about whether we should change this and just talk about where we felt a real warmth emotion, but I think that, that's, that's too simplistic.

So this first one, for instance, I'm just going to ask you all to mindfully think about your extended family for a moment, where one is, you know, at the moment where I am in my life, That, that, my extended family doesn't actually feel hugely important. And as I even say that because they don't. For me, as I even say that, I get a sense of, oh, that sounds a bit rubbish, but we need to let go of that because it is what it is, and that's the beauty of mindfulness.

So by extended family, I mean, other than your parents, your siblings, and the people that live with you, you know, your, your intimate other and your, and your kids. It's those Those extensions to that, you know, the cousins, the aunts, the uncles, the nieces, the nephews, that sort of stuff. And actually for me, they're about a 5.

And as I say that, that's, I just think, but you know, before COVID, they were a 3. So something's happened here, you know, people, family have become more important. And then I think about Mrs.

Scanlon. The only person I'm in an intimate relationship with. And, If you're not currently in a close intimate relationship or, you know, you're not part of a couple, you're not married, but this one here, just to think about bring mindfulness to how important is it to me.

That, you know, I, I, I, I, I'm a member of a couple or not. And I would say that Mrs. Scanlon was right up there with my 9 probably.

And then my role as a parent, and if you're someone who doesn't have kids yet or has no intention of having your own children, just a sense there of the children in your life, and that may mean your nieces, nephews, godchildren, etc. Friends' children, just how important are they? And I suppose my kids remain my my 10.

And then we noticed, listen, notice this is a really interesting mindful exercise because I wonder like me then when I think, oh, maybe they should be the same as my wife, you know, maybe I shouldn't have, they shouldn't be, should listen to the language should or we need to drop all of that. It's just what is is. And so I think that my friends.

And how important are they, and they're probably an 8. And how important is my work, and I'd say that was an 8. And again, when you get to that, I know so many vets now because of the work I've been doing with the webinar vet and so many 1 to 1 sessions now with people from the veterinary profession, that your work really matters to you guys.

And then new learning. You know, education, training, learning new stuff, and I think that's about an 8. Recreation and fun.

That's about an 8 for me as well. Have a think for yourselves on this one, just gently scoring as we go. And how important is that sense of spirituality?

You know, the meaning of life, the purpose of life, why I'm here, what my job is, what, what I hope to get out of life. And that's right up there as a 9 as well. And citizenship.

And as I sit here and think about citizenship and community life, I, I, I bring mindfulness to it. I realise that that used to be a 2. And it's now right up there with a sort of 5 or a 6.

And this is what COVID and this experience we're going through is, has had on me, that I'm finding importance in stuff that had no importance prior to COVID. Physical self-care has become really important as well, you know, and Looking after myself and taking care, I think that was probably a 6, and that's right up there as an 8. Social media remains just where it was in terms of importance, and that's a to.

And then, as I've realised, since Billy the Mindful Dog went off to Cornwall, he's probably up there as a 9 with, with Mrs. Scanlon. Rest assured she can't hear, but I think she knows anyway, and I think she would be his.

He would be her 10. So as you look at that and we bring mindfulness to these areas of our life that And certainly people like Seligman, Peterson. I would say are sort of core values areas for most human beings in sort of Western civilization.

Certainly I would probably guess across the world. And then As we look at that, we switch. And now applied to mindfulness.

And I'd just like us to bring mindful attention now to the score. That you gave it here. And how important this stuff Feels to us tonight, you know, and I said that importance was a 5.

And that my extended family feel more important, but the time, effort and the headspace they get is about a 2. So there's a bit of a disparity there. So I'm not quite living my life in balance there.

Now, no musts, no shoulds, no judgement. So just mindful curiosity. And the mindful curiosity we apply when we find a gap between importance and time, effort and headspace is very simple.

Would, would it? Enhance my life to be more in touch with my extended family, and you know, the answer is no for me, it really wouldn't. It would probably bring unwanted complications and even some discord, you know.

And so as we bring mindfulness to that, there's a very good reason why. You know, there's, but it's lovely that they matter more to me, I think. And we get to that person that we're closest to in our lives, and I'm pretty much in balance there.

I'd say. Mrs. Scanlon's about a 9 and the time, effort and headspace that I'm able to sort of, that, that comes into my mind and the time is about an 8.

It's pretty good. Parenting, they're my 10. And they get about a 9, so I'm pretty good.

Oh, and as I Gently look at friends. What I see is Yeah, it's a good point, Hillary. Hillary's just come back and said my work as a vet is part of my citizenship, my community life, not two separate things.

Yeah, yeah, I suppose I could argue that for myself as well. I perhaps wasn't thinking as deeply on that one. We'll come to that in a minute.

And friends, I would say they were 8, and at the moment, they're only getting a 2. And if I ask myself, that should be 10, not 7 guys. It used to be 7, but I changed it to a 10.

So Since COVID, I've become more insular, you know, and I'm, I'm really not keeping up with friends in the same way as I did before COVID. And if I ask myself the question there, and I bring mindfulness to that one, would that enhance my life if I was better at contacting and spending time with friends online or now maybe even considering catching up with some people? And yes, it would.

But then I get to work and I wonder how many of you out there in veterinary land are going to find the same thing here that my work was an 8, but the time, effort, and headspace it gets is 10. And so I'm out of kilter. I spend too much time.

In my head too much time, and I wonder, I'd be interested to know, is that the same for many of you guys? You know, education and training, I'm nicely in balance there, about a 7 and I'm about a 7. Recreation and fun.

Yeah, I think I've been pretty good with that. Pretty much in balance there. See what you think for yourselves.

Spirituality, meaning and purpose in life. Do you know, I think I'm learning as always from you guys on this one. So I think Hillary, I think maybe you're right because my, my, my role, my work as a mental health.

Professional is part of my community. And my citizenship. So maybe I can up that.

Well, thank you. I'm really, yeah, I mean, I'm in balance there as well. Now social media is such an interesting one for so many of us because I said that was about a 2, but I reckon the time and headspace social media gets is about an 8 or a 9 for me.

I, I can get stuck just sort of browsing through social media and sometimes browsing and getting cross and remember the wonderful John Cer Zinn saying that happiness revolves around doing more of what enhances our life and less of what depletes it. So maybe And that's something I need to be more mindful of. And finally, the animals in our life, you know, are, are, are, are pets.

And yeah, Billy, I'd say was a 9, the time, effort, and the headspace he's getting this week since he disappeared is probably a 10. So maybe he gets too much headspace. But As we look at this together before we move into our Sunday night meditation, I just want to suggest what a really important exercise this is because.

How often do we get the opportunity to look at our lives? And to bring that lovely mindful curiosity to these areas of value. And then to have the time and To like ourselves enough.

To with no judgement and no harshness but with curiosity and interest. Just suddenly spot that, do you know what? I, I give too much time to that area and not enough time and headspace to that area because that area really, really matters to me.

And so before we move to the meditation, I'm just gonna ask everybody on tonight. To pick one of these areas. That you think you would benefit from Giving more time and headspace to it.

Now I'm quite deliberately not saying let's pick an area where we give too much, you know, I, I'm, I'm looking for an area here where Your your value was high, but the time, effort, and headspace you give it. Is very low. And today I'm going to choose to look at friends and social life.

So when we get to that part of the meditation where we move into the action space, and we start to mindfully think about the week to come. I'm going to choose to Think about the actions I might choose to take to close that gap between the 8 and the 2 in terms of friendship. And I'm just going to ask everybody tonight before we move into the meditation, just to have a think about that.

And I'm also gonna suggest that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to, if you've noticed, like me, an area like social media where You Your interaction with social media, if it's anything as mindless as mine, maybe bringing some mindfulness to that in the next week might be useful as well. So I hope you all found that. To be useful, I think.

I think we're witnessing across the country, and this isn't political, I promise. It's a mindfulness practitioners' observations, particularly when you look at some of the behaviour in the country at the moment, because I would be sure that a lot of these people that are out, Behaving hugely irresponsibly, partying as though there wasn't still an enormous threat. And we look at Leicestershire at the moment being possibly being brought back into lockdown, and the threat is still out there, and we need to remain mindful about that threat.

It's our way of surviving, really, isn't it? But I just wonder that all of those people, you know, will have parents. All of those people will have older colleagues at work or people they mix with.

And it's just get the sense that there's very little mindfulness of what really matters driving some of those behaviours. So let's have a think about this meditation. And this meditation I call 2 years on, because we move into the action space and then we take it even further and we look at whether if we're living closer to that which matters.

What might our life look like if we can sustain that? How might things be different? In 2 years' time, but that's all part of the meditation.

So When we're all ready, It is About a 9 or 10 minute meditation, but it really is a meditation on, on, on, on refinding or having balance in our lives. And I think it's a very useful one. At the moment.

So if we can get ourselves into our Regular position for meditating, feet firmly on the ground. Yeah. Sitting comfortably but not too comfortably, finding our mindful half smile.

Just being aware of ourselves and when we're ready. Let's start our Sunday evening. Meditation.

So We begin this meditation. By recognising Value And mindfulness. That we're here on a Sunday evening.

And we're taking time. To bring our attention. Tonight to our lives.

And our balance. And that's a really important, good, good thing. It's warm, it's self-compassionate.

And It works for us. And we just take our attention now. Outside of the room that you're meditating in.

Just get a sense of the weather. Out there. Is it blowy and blustery?

Is it cool? Is it warm? Just getting a sense of that weather.

And then bringing our attention into Our homes. Getting a sense of the temperature and the ambience. And the feeling that our, our home gives us.

Is there a warmth about where we're meditating? Is there safety here? Is that connectedness.

And right inside. Take your attention and find you. I'm checking with your emotional weather.

How are you? Just getting a sense of that. And then taking your attention.

And Going to the very, very top. Of your body to your scalp. And we just body scan.

Down our body. Looking for Many areas of tension. Any tightness, any difficulty that's being held by our own physicality.

Any heaviness. And if we find lightness and if we find Pleasant sensation, we pay attention to that as well. And we work our way from the scale.

Letting our eyes just close gently. Softening. Moving down And checking out smile muscles.

Is there a smile there, is there? Compassion and warmth in the facial expression. Is the position of our head relaxed or are we?

Creating any tension in our name. Bring attention to your shoulders. Your arms.

And relaxing your hands at bedtime. Just bringing attention now to your brain. And following that in breath in.

And exhaling out. Recognising how important our breath is. As an anchor We can bring ourselves into this present moment by simply paying attention to our breath.

But also as a mood tracker. That we can track our mood by being aware of our brand. And noticing that our breath can become our Gentle way into the parasympathetic nervous system.

Where we can find calm. Just through our breathing. Without changing our breath in any way.

Perhaps slowing it if you must, but just breathing. In and out. And moving downwards and Just scanning our tummy, our gut.

Maybe placing a hand there. Just feeling the warmth of her hand. And then just checking out our seats.

And our posture as we say. Noticing The touch of the chair or the floor against us. Just softening into wherever we're sitting.

Bring attention to your legs. And your knees. The calves.

And finally your feet and your toes. Just exploring the space between your toes even. And pushing them down.

So that we can feel that sense of being anchored. In this present moment. Now We just open and roll back our shoulders just a little bit and smile.

And we just ask ourselves, so. What's going on? In my life at the moment, how am I?

Just getting a sense of how we are. The stuff that's happening in our lives at the moment. And the sadnesses and the joys.

And the routine What makes us curious. What's impacting on us emotionally. Positively And the stuff that we're finding more difficult.

And as we're noticing it, we're noticing it as just stuff. We're being careful not to label it all. Bring negativity to it.

Losing our sense of judgement, so. What's going on? In our lives.

At the moment. It's that sense of jest. Almost like us as a sponge just opening up and Letting that stuff in.

Making space for it. Rather like the guest house poem. You know, just making space for.

Whoever Wants to come and spend time. Welcome them all. Just letting it in.

And sitting with it. And letting go. Just letting that stuff go like leaves on a stream.

Just watching it dissipate, watching it leave. Letting go, letting go. And bringing your attention back.

And really anchoring our attention now. To our breath. Not changing it, not manipulating it, just breathing.

I'm bringing a curiosity to our brain. Is this the breath of a calm? Relaxed human.

As I breathe, does my face smile? Am I enjoying breathing? Noticing the chest move upwards and outwards as we breathe in.

I'm noticing curiously the way everything just softens and. Falls back into place. And this action, this simple action that just keeps us alive.

That happens throughout the day, throughout the night. Just bringing our attention and finding that. Not right.

Not sustaining, bro. And we let go. And now we expand our awareness out.

And we choose. To take our focus. To an area of our life.

Where we could pay more attention. To that area. Because it's an area of our life that we value.

That really matters. But we've been starving it. Time.

Effor headspace. And we expand our awareness now. And we use our powers of visualising.

A curiosity. And we find excitement. And we find possibility.

And we find Choice. And we choose to focus on. An area of our life.

That really matters to us. And an area that we would Find enhancing. If we gave it more time.

Effort and headspace and we Expand that awareness into our next week, the week that's coming. And we just allow our mind. They just play And just sort of scan the options.

Noticing, if any, yabbas creep in. We just smile at those and let them go. And we replaced the but with an N.

Yeah, I could phone my really good best buddies that I haven't spoken to in a. Months and months, but when you have the time, just let go of the bad and. When you have the time, I'll make time.

And we find that sense of commitment. To address that area of our life. We know We see now, we feel it.

We let in the sense of Pleasure associated with that area of our life. And we choose now. OK.

So, Yeah. More time effort and headspace in that area of my life. We find that sense of commitment.

And then we mindfully. Just take our attention. Down the path.

Way past COVID-19. 2 years' time. How might life be?

If I was spending And giving more time. Effort and headspace. To the stuff of my life.

That really matters. What would that look like? I would not feel I'm just noticing that we begin that process.

The moment the meditation finishes. Hold on to that commitment. One area of our life that we're choosing in this next week.

So Find that life balance. It is a prerequisite. A proper Mindful happiness.

As we sit there and hold that. And we smile. And once again as we started the meditation.

We just thank Ourselves. For having valued ourselves enough. To take a bit of time out of our Sunday evening.

To be mindful. And when you're ready, Very gently coming back to the room. Yeah, so.

I hope people found that useful tonight. It's an exercise that I think I like to do every now and then, actually. And as you may have heard when I was going through, the last time I did this exercise was pre-COVID and This whole scary time has actually galvanised and sharpened my thinking a little bit and put me back in touch with some areas of my life that perhaps I wasn't valuing enough.

With no judgement there, just observing that and finding commitment to make change. So, I hope people Found that useful to be able to take that forward into the next week and Maybe come back to that exercise another time and have a look at it. And just have a check in in a few months' time perhaps or even a few weeks' time.

Where's my life balance? How's this stuff working for me? So We've got a meditation next week, but the week after, I'm away.

Actually taking some holiday, going down to, Ross on Wye. And so on the Sunday, the 12th, I'll, I'll be under canvas. And almost certainly no internet access.

So we're going to miss that, that, that week and then re-engage again. So we're, we're, we're here next week, still keeping these Sunday evenings going. We're not there on the 12th and we're back on the 19th.

So, oh. Yeah. So Hillary, no names here.

She got a bit distracted when she put her hand on her tummy because all I could feel was a spare tyre. Well, me too, but only a little one a Hillary. So maybe more time on my physical well-being needs to be looked at.

And I sound serious and calm, and I just want to giggle and feel calm and happy though. Do you know, I'm going to share that with everybody. Let's all giggle, feel calm and happy though.

I think I have had a really sombre day today. I think I'm missing that flipping dog, . But he'll be back soon.

And, and perhaps the daughter. Yeah, OK, everybody, thank you so much for sharing and Yeah, it's lovely, lovely to hear from you all and see you all next week. More of what matters.

That's the parting shot tonight. Good night, everyone.