And good evening to, People coming in tonight. I kind of wondered on this bank holiday weekend whether we would have participants tonight. So I'm just, yeah, welcome to people just beginning to come in now.
And it's lovely to be here tonight doing this, webinar. And I do find these kind of get me ready for the week. And sometimes we have quite a big bunch of people and sometimes we don't.
And, the numbers sort of flux and, and rise and fall, and that's absolutely fine. But I do know that some people enjoy this, via the recordings. So also, I welcome to those of you coming in, to the recordings of the Sunday evening sessions.
So where are we at the moment? Gosh, we're on week 7 of these. And We've, we've all come a long way, haven't we, you know, when you think about it.
And I wonder whether some of you are almost beginning to find that, you know, there is the, that, that. This COVID situation and the way we're living our lives is almost becoming like the new normal, and I think we have to be a bit careful of that. Because, I was talking to one of my clients who's been furloughed, earlier on this week, and she was saying that, because she's got, she doesn't do very much, she started sort of napping at, lunchtime and taking a nap from sort of 1 o'clock through to about 4.
And the, and, and I was talking about that. I said, have you thought about, you know, when you do return to work, And we, we talked about that a bit and I think it was this, and then it was this sense of, you know, I'm not sure, you know, I've got so used to this, and I think it's really important that Mindfulness, what it brings us, I think, is John Kabatzin's wonderful definition of mindfulness, you know, paying attention deliberately on purpose and nonjudgmentally. So if we don't give ourselves a hard time, I think, for having a nap in the afternoon, I would be the last person to do that.
But I think bringing mindful attention to whether I actually need it or am I just doing it? And the other thing I think is what we're looking at tonight. I, our thinking starts to change a little bit as well.
And, we have, the more time we have, and I don't know for many of you, very, very busy people working in the veterinary profession. I certainly know with Dawn, who I know has been so, so busy that, she probably hasn't had lots and lots of time to just sit, But we are getting more time, and it's then I think that our thoughts and difficult thoughts start to push their way in. So our first meditation tonight is we're looking at this idea of the transcend the sort of transcendent.
Nature of thoughts really that come and go and you know what we mustn't do is, as we've talked about before, is attach too much to them to that point where we're almost, we are almost become our thoughts and they become very, very real and I'm sending a film over to Dawn of the process we're going to do tonight, which is a really useful way of . Kind of sitting down and allowing thoughts and being curious about thoughts, and then our second meditation is specifically looking at managing distress because there is a lot of distress about at the moment and most of us will know somebody now. It feels that Has had COVID-19 or we know people that have become terribly ill.
We might know people who tragically have died, and I think we have that fear of our own health that bubbles along all the time, just under the surface very often. And so the second meditation is very much about how we manage that emotion of distress. Both are seated meditations, and, they're both sort of, I think they're really useful.
The first one thoughts, the second one specifically on distress. So if I just, try not to go. Two slides at once, which is my new favourite thing to do.
Here we are. So it's a meditation on the transient nature of thoughts that come and go. And as the slide says, this meditation trains our mind to look at thoughts rather than looking at life from thoughts.
And it's that. Stance really that you also get with that lovely sleep meditation leaves on a stream where we try and sit back on the bank and as we watch the leaves floating by carried by the stream, eventually we start watching the thoughts from the lovely lush vegetation on the bank where we're sitting. And this is a similar one, but it's a real skill, this one.
So it's a way of recognising that A thought comes brand new, fresh, and sometimes hurtful, sometimes difficult, but very soon that becomes an old thought. A past thought. And if it's no longer current, if it is passed by the very nature that we thought it a few moments ago, maybe we can meet that thought differently.
And then We actually noticed that that thought is And replaced by a new thought. And if we're aware and we're mindful, we can have some say over the nature, the wording, and the emotion even that that new thought brings with it. And this meditation allows us to really explore that transient nature of thoughts.
So if we can get ourselves into our Sunday evening, dignified stance. Where our feet are pressing into the floor below, getting a sense of permanence from the floor below. Where we can feel The chair that we're sitting in, if unless we're sitting on the floor and just getting a sense of being supported and dignified.
And if we're ready, then we'll start. So we just close our eyes. Or even half close our eyes.
And Just very gently. Take our attention. And find our breath, the anchor.
To this present moment, which just is the breath. And we find that in breath. And we follow the out breath.
As we breathe, We notice if our shoulders are tight or if our shoulders are up. Somewhere around our ears and On the out breath, we just let that go. And then we breathe and we get a sense of whether there's a frown.
And on the out breath he just let that go. And we begin to notice that our breath and our breathing is relaxed and. Gentle.
And rhythmic We begin to get a sense of whether our hands are clenched. And if they are on the out breath. We just let them go.
And then we just relaxing. I'm just gonna ask you to just. Allow yourselves to think.
About a regular. Mind story or a regular thought that keeps arriving, popping up in our minds. And it might be a slightly difficult thought.
It might be a judgmental thought. It might be a critical thought, or it might be a bit like our own mind is nagging us, I should, ought, must sort of thought. And if we can just go for a moment and just find.
The thought that we're going to work with today. A mind will always be a mic you really should have. Though it's usually because like you guys, maybe we're busy.
So we just get a sense of the thought we're going to work on. And we invite it in. And maybe even just quietly.
In our own minds, just allow ourselves to connect with that thought and the wording of that thought. And we let it in We just sit with it. For a moment.
Very quietly, our minds are. We noticed that right at this moment. I'm having a thought.
That thought is telling me. Like, you really should have contacted those people. Think yourselves right at this moment.
I'm having a thought. And that thought is telling me that. Just allow it in.
And allow yourself to connect with what it is that that thought is telling you. Noticing that at this very moment you are. Looking at that thought.
Rather than that thought. Entirely pushing you around. And we let go of the thought.
And we just place her hand very gently. On the tummy. And we just take 10.
Very mindful breaths. Perhaps counting. Just staying with the breath as we can.
No judgement if we lose can. We get distracted, our mind wanders. Just bring it back to the breath.
And approximate where you think you are with your counting. That's 10. And we smile.
Now I'd just love you to notice that. Just a few moments ago. Perhaps 10 counts ago.
This thought showed up. And this thought was telling me. But I should have done something.
Allow that in for yourselves. Go back and find that thought that we started to work with. And now notice that it's just an old thought now it's 10 counts old.
So, a few moments ago. My mind sent me this thought, and this thought was just telling me that. Yeah.
And allow it and Notice that if we sit back and we relax. And we recognise this is. An old thought now.
It's an old thought that was kind of Trying to sort of maybe push me around a little bit and. Make me take notice of it. And we let God And we take our attention once more.
To the breath. We follow the breath again. For a count of 1010 breaths.
10 mindful, relaxed, comfortable breaths. Noticing whether you like this counting mindfulness, does it help? Does it help you be right in this moment.
And if our mind pulls away or goes wandering as minds are apt to do. We resist any urge to make a judgement about that, and we smile. And we escort it back and I think it was about a 6.
We keep following the breath. And then we let go of that. And notice that this now is a brand new moment.
We quietly say to ourselves, Right at this new moment. And say your name out loud. Mike scan them.
Dawn Warner Whatever your name is, right at this new moment. Mike Scanlans just realised that A while ago, Some words and some pictures in the form of a thought. I'm trying to push him around on a Sunday evening.
And smile at them. Now you've got choice. Do I want to?
Allow this thought to push me about. Does it work for me? And we stick with it.
And we noticed that You know, thoughts are. Just perhaps words and pictures that our minds sends us. Maybe that's OK.
When thoughts come. And thoughts go And we just recognised it for the last few moments. We've been seeing thoughts as what they are.
But not as what they say they are. If we found that helpful. To just sit and Allow thoughts but to bring curiosity to them and Find out that The thought that bugs me now is sooner.
An old thought And that old thought can very quickly be replaced, deliberately and on purpose. With a new thought. That gives us choice.
Just sit. Perhaps you can get a sense of being liberated. From that dictator of our mind, perhaps.
Noticing that Do you know what? I don't want to be pushed around by thoughts. During this difficult time.
I'd like to be a little bit more in charge. And we sit with that. Maybe we even think of it as an affirmation.
We affirm that moving forward. Yeah, I'm gonna try and see thoughts is what they are. I must see thoughts as words and pictures.
I'm gonna try and look at thoughts. Rather than from points. And when we're ready, Very gently.
We can come back. To this Sunday evening. And I hope you found that useful.
I think that that process is one of my real go to's for myself and for a lot of the people that have therapy with me, whereby, we can use that process as a meditation as we just did, or we can actually sometimes Not mindfully that, you know what, I feel really uncomfortable. What's that about? I'm being pushed around by a thought.
And, you know, if there's discomfort there, it will be a critical judgmental, difficult thought, and we smile. Right at this moment I'm having a thought and we say, a few moments ago, Mike noticed that this thought was here pushing him around. And right at this new moment.
I'm just realising that a little while ago a thought tried to convince me. Gosh, how interesting is that? And in that moment, we gain so much more of a healthy way, a responsive way of working with thoughts.
I love putting it into a meditation as we just did then. So what I've done is I've sent you over a film of this process, which Dawn will get after our session tonight just to remind you of how to use. That particular thought skill and how to apply it into a meditation.
So Our second meditation is also very much linked to the first, I, I, I really do try and get a sort of sense of, Working out these Sundays so that they, they, they have a sort of pattern and a theme to them. And this is a bit different, but it's about learning to become a compassionate watcher. Of distress when it shows up in our lives.
And the importance of watching when distress shows up in our lives and bringing that mindful curiosity to the experience of distress. Is that most of the really rubbish decisions I've made in my life I've made as a result of being in a place of distress. You know, Dreadful things I've said to people I love, .
Stuff I've done in a moment of distress that you kind of have to live with for flipping years and sometimes just learning possibly through age maybe that, you know, sitting with distress for a bit and bringing curiosity and using this mindfulness we're doing tonight. Can be so much better. And as you see I've said on the slide, not easy and very useful.
I've done that quite deliberately because what I didn't want was not easy but very useful because as soon as we hear the but, . You know, I think it puts us off, so it's not easy. And it's a really useful meditation, this one.
So, before we start, just want us to again, just get a sense of, Something that regularly at the moment Causes us to experience a sense of distress. And the most common one, I think at the moment is the news. And every time that we hear.
And with varying degrees and thank God. And Like sensibleness, like the NHS, whatever, but, you know, the death rate is coming down, but Just every time we connect with the sadness that's happening around us at the moment, I think. And we don't want to be overwhelmed by it.
And we don't want to become inured to that distress either, but I think this meditation perhaps is one that can help. So once again it's . A a seated meditation.
And I think this one feels like it probably needs. Nothing other than just ourselves, really. We don't need bells to talk ourselves in, we just need to gentle in tonight.
So we're sitting comfortably, not too comfortably. I just ask you to just Allow And recognise that motion. And a motion of distress.
That sometimes arises with a sort of Oh, there you are. Yeah, I'm feeling Perhaps angry. Perhaps I'm feeling embittered.
Perhaps I'm feeling sad. Maybe I'm just feeling scared. And we sit with that for a moment and we allow that emotion in.
And we roll our shoulders back a bit and create some space in our chest for that. Allow it in. It's OK.
I can allow myself to have this feeling. I can make space for it. I don't have to be afraid of it.
Or try to get rid of it. Just notice that and allow it. Maybe we can name the emotion.
That is showing up, whether it's that anger, that sadness, that feeling of being scared. And We can watch that emotion. I can just watch this feeling.
Be aware of where it shows up in my body. And sit back and Name it and label it, there you are. I know you.
Let me just name the emotion that shows up. The links to our distress I don't have to be. Caught up in it.
And where do I? Not this emotion. In my body.
This is just emotion. Just a feeling to be felt. It's nothing more.
It's nothing less, it's. Something my mind is sent. Usually to accompany thoughts.
And I am not my emotions in the same way that I am not my thoughts. I'm becoming the Watcher. Of my emotions.
Getting a sense of what this feeling is like. Perhaps seeing it as An ocean wave. I'm getting that sense of if we're caught in a wave.
We don't need to fight it frantically. You just need to go with it. Stay with it.
Let it bob you up and down. Knowing But if we just relax into that way. A current We don't fight here.
Eventually, we always end up back on the shore. Notice that we can be present. With this distress of emotion.
And feeling And if I want to, We can turn our attention back. To what I'm doing right now. Which is noticing He Seeing Or tasting even.
We can Use our five senses. To just centre ourselves all. We always have our breath.
The breath being our anchor. To this Present moment. Once again, just staying with each in breath.
And each outbre. But like a wave. We sometimes get emotional comebacks.
No. I feel that emotion returning. That's OK.
That's what emotions do. They do like to return. And when it does, I just go back to watching it again.
It's just another. Well Once again, I don't fight that way. I sit with it.
And I allow it. And when we're ready, We just thank ourselves for having spent the time on this Sunday evening. Just beginning to hone our skills of How to manage thought, emotion, and distress.
Mindfully, Compassionately. I'm wisely I think. When we're ready, very gently.
Just coming back to the room again. And I think that The bit I like best about that meditation. It's the truthfulness of it, really, which is that I don't know if any of you have ever seen anybody caught in a riptide.
I remember a friend telling me once that And he was on a paddle board and he got caught in Cornwall on a riptide. And he said he paddled frantically trying to get into the shore as he got swept out into the sea. And he said, you know, a stillness came over me when I realised there was nothing I could do.
And he said, I just waited. And he said, I waited and I breathed and I And looked and I waited, and he said this real calm descended. And before I knew it.
The waves just brought me safely back into the shore. And he was saying, I kind of know that had I carried on paddling and fighting that wave, I'd have exhausted myself and possibly. Maybe fallen off the board and drowned, and there were times when This mindful approach to emotion, thought, feeling, difficulty, distress is just to sit it out, wait for it.
And when it calms, that's when we can think about it and make some sense of it and do something about it. And we're always in such a hurry in this world, aren't we? You know, we can't allow that distress.
We've got to deal with it and do something about it. And I think during COVID times, there's something really Useful here, which is let's just get better at waiting. And the mind will send us that moment of clarity and will bring us home if we just give it a chance.
Thank you all so much for tonight. Yeah, a couple of questions actually. So can distress be caused by someone putting it what you consider unnecessary increased risk?
Yeah, I think, How do you manage this, I guess. I think that I think that with that one there, it's noticing that someone's put me into what is an unnecessary increased risk. And not jumping at that, but waiting.
And waiting until that sense of fear and trepidation and panic passes. And then just allowing that that thought in about that this is, I'm, I'm hearing this one such a lot, you know, about being put at risk at the moment and, and, and, and the distress and anger we feel about this, and I think the way to manage it is not to jump at it, but to mindfully wait, restore calm, and then I, I think it's down to that thing about The decision we take in these situations needs to needs to be a decision that takes me towards being the human being I want to be. Yeah.
Yeah, Hill, I'm not quite sure that was the plan with mine, but I get where you are with that. . I think it is that sense that the wave brings us home.
You know, and if we don't fight with it, we get back to that moment of peace and tranquilly and calm, and hopefully that calm is where we make good decisions, better decisions, mindful, compassionate decisions. I did say, didn't I? Not easy and very useful, this one.
Do you know what I think I'll do is I will record this one tomorrow and send it to Dawn, but I won't be able to get it to her tonight. But I will record. That one because it's not easy, but I really do think it's an easy one.
So I'll send the film. And, once again, thank you all so much for joining me. Next week.
I was already thinking I wanted to go back to a couple of core meditations. So I wondered whether we were ready again for the mountain and the lake, two really lovely, calming, soothing meditations. And right back to some core John Cabotz in mindful stress stuff.
So thank you all for participating tonight and have a lovely bank holiday tomorrow. And Yeah, keep meeting these difficult times mindfully. I'm sure it's the best way through.
Thank you all guys and good night.