Good evening to people, and welcome to our Sunday meditation with the webinar vet. This is, Doctor Mike Scanlon, as usual on a Sunday, and we're just waiting for people to sort of come into tonight's webinar, and a big welcome to those of you who are accessing this via the recordings. And I've just finished, actually, oh, my dog Billy has just decided to come in.
I've just actually finished doing some. Yoga. And I was doing the yoga, it's the particular yoga I like is the, yin yoga.
And what I like it is because it really does sort of, complement this therapy, this mindful therapy approach that I tend to use, which is how we find difficulty and rather than always trying to sort of struggle to, get away from it or to make it stop. It's very much this thing about if we sit with the difficulty. Then what happens is our body relaxes and our mind relaxes, and we get some clarity usually into the situation that's bugging us or pushing us or pushing our buttons or pulling us away from being the human being we want to be.
And quite often it's in those moments when we just stay with difficulty and meditate and stay with the breath and anchor our attention. That we sort of realised that what felt like a huge issue is actually something that I'm very capable of just sitting with. And I was thinking about what we were going to do this Sunday.
And then after last week's course we're running at the moment, the one where we're looking at, the first responder course for people in the veterinary profession, and I had a couple of emails from people saying that, you know, thank you for the session, found it really useful, and wanted to share that an awful lot of their difficulties. Weren't so much revolving around the processes and the the role of being a vet or working in a veterinary practise. It was actually the interpersonal stuff, and if there's somebody in the practise who who pulls us away from being the person we want to be in.
Quite frankly, pulls a lot of people away from being the person that they want to be. Sometimes it's about how do we sort of psychologically, spiritually, emotionally manage when, you know, we can't, we can't just sort of make that person disappear as it were. And so I thought I might try and help that with a loving kindness meditation with the difficult person.
Because I think in many professions, I know for me personally, I think some of the most difficult times I've ever had professionally have have not been to do with the, you know, as a mental health professional or dealing with the the real difficult. Cases, people, presentations, etc. Because, you know, I'm really comfortable with that.
It was the interpersonal stuff with colleagues and the interpersonal stuff that it would sort of erode your well-being and leave you with a real nasty taste in your mouth and sometimes our response to those difficult people was a response that, you know, doesn't always leave us feeling that comfortable about ourselves. So I thought I would start tonight's one because it does seem to be such an issue for all professions and, and have a look at whether or not we can use this loving kindness with the difficult person and . One of the meditations that the webinar that in the course we did with the webinar that was the Loving Kindness meditation, which is a real sort of staple meditation of the mindfulness-based stress reduction course actually.
And so if people really liked this and felt that they would like to meditate more with that, then that that's one meditation. That we can quite happily send you the URL of, of this one. So this is a slight variation on it, but once you've got this, of course you get the recording, and it might be something that you want to sit and practise with.
So with no more ado, shall we, shall we kick off gently? And so this is a seated meditation. And So let's get ourselves into a position where we're comfortable and that our If we looked at ourselves in a mirror, we would sort of smile and say, yes, I actually look really dignified.
Because looking dignified, particularly with this meditation, I think it's very, very important. So we try to make sure that our core is feeling stable. That we're sitting in a position that's comfortable but not so comfortable that we're going to drift off.
And Let's have a go at the loving kindness meditation with a challenging person. So before we start, can we just think about who the challenging person is going to be, that we're going to absolutely bathe with this sense of loving kindness. It might be a relative.
Might be a friend. My be a colleague. Might be a customer.
So let's just decide who that person is going to be and flex our visual muscles and See if we can't just bring a picture of that person. Just up in our mind's eye, I've got my person sitting there. Yeah.
And let's start. So we just begin by Just placing one hand. Very gently on her heart.
And finding a relaxed, comfortable smile. And just quietly. Bringing our attention to our breath.
Without changing our breath in any way. Without trying to believe it or breathe in a particular way. Just to allow ourselves to just breathe.
And as we prepare for this meditation, We just ask you now to go and find. That visual image in your mind's eye of your Difficult person, just bring them to mind. Just breathe.
Following the in breathing. And the out breath out. Holding this person in our mind's eye.
Reminding ourselves that just like us. Yes. Person struggling to find his.
Or her way through life. And in the process of doing so is causing us concern or pain. And we just muse for a moment and consider that.
Just as I wish to be peaceful and Free from suffering. Just made this person too. Find a sense of inner peace.
And as we say that, Let's just bring mindful attention to any aversion. Or tightening. Or maybe our jaw just.
Sex in a stubborn. That belies the words. Let's just find that again.
Just as I wish to be peaceful and free from suffering, may you too find inner peace. And smile. Just notice how it feels to let go.
Of some of that aversion. And find the beginnings of some equanimity and Just calm. And as we keep that image of this difficult person, In your mind.
Just think of them and share some words, maybe. May you two be safe. Allow that.
To just flow across the ether, imagining them absorbing. Right May you two be peaceful. May you be healthy.
And may you too. Live with his Bring a real awareness now. To whatever's showing up in you.
Maybe a version. Maybe anger. Maybe a bit of guilt.
Even shame or sadness. So we consider this person. And the phrases of May you to be safe.
May you also be peaceful. May you be healthy. And may you live with ease.
Made in sound hollow? And find whatever emotion. Is showing up.
In you. At this very moment. And just practise that same compassion.
Do you yourself. May I be safe? May I be peaceful?
May I be healthy. May I too live with ease? I'll just check in and Notice whether As we engage with this loving, kind meditation for the difficult person.
Whether some of this is actually just Finding some compassion. And some warmth for ourselves. Just recognising that.
It's OK. It's understandable. To feel those sorts of negative emotions towards people.
Just try again as we. Find that kindness for ourselves and once again. Picture The other person.
And May you too. Be kind to yourself. And may you also just accept yourself as you are.
Again. Notice what shows up and. Quietly label it and bring curiosity to it.
And mirror it back onto ourselves once more. May I, too, Just be kinder. To myself.
As I go forward in this life. And may I to Growing acceptance of myself. As I move forward in this life.
Check in on your breath. Is it still calm? And relaxed.
Find that Lovely. Calm. Soothing rhythm of the breath.
And we just recognise that. What we're doing is finding a real good energy for ourselves. And for that other person.
I just smile at them. And we recognise. That not only can we be hard on others sometimes.
Maybe we can be quite hard on ourselves. And as we Move towards the end of the meditation. Let's just let go of that difficult person.
Just let them go! And widen our focus. Just check in and Once again, May the people that matter in my life be safe.
May I and the people that matter. In my life be peaceful. May the people that matter and I.
In my life, also be healthy. And may the people that matter in my life. Live with ease.
Now allow that thing. Notice how you feel now. Having Just poured that loving kindness.
Out of us. And into that difficult person. Into ourselves.
And then to the people around us it actually matter. Find that quality of peacefulness and forgiveness and. Just hold it And smile into it.
How much better is that? Then Grudge holding and. Anger and frustration.
It is that Opening sentence, I think of this meditation, isn't it? That real beginnings that You know, when we just as I wish to be peaceful and free from suffering. May you too, also find that peace.
When we're ready, Very gently. Just come back to the room. And as always, if anyone.
Has anything they'd like to share? Any thoughts, whether that was really difficult or whether that's something that we could perhaps do? If that's a meditation we really like.
That's a way of sort of preparing. It's a Sunday, isn't it? We're going into work tomorrow.
And I must admit actually that was, I actually went to a member of my family that I'm finding really difficult at the moment and kind of. You know, gritting my teeth. And rather than and that that was really rather lovely to.
To, to, to work that, that meditation and with them in mind and helpful, I think. So This is Christina Neff, and the second meditation of the evening. I wanted to share with you is is kind of on the same.
Sort of Theme really. And Christina Neff, I've done a few of her meditations before on a Sunday. She's an absolute, She's an absolute favourite of mine.
And her and, Chris Germa both work at the centre for Mindful Self-compassion, and a lot of the work that she does is very much focused on the importance of finding a real warmth and compassion for ourselves, you know, and this next meditation is, aimed at Finding warmth and compassion with ourselves. As we recall, a mildly or a moderately difficult situation. That you find yourself in right now.
And So if we just think about A situation in our lives at the moment that causes us some stress or Something that we desperately try not to think about is a really good way of thinking about this. And We have a go at softening, soothing, and allowing. And once again, this is one of those meditations that's very, very physically embodied and, I really like this one, and it's one that you can combine really nicely with a yin yoga practise.
Because it's that kindness with yin, you never push a pose. You never push with yin yoga or stretch further than you need to. It's an extraordinary self-compassionate kind form of yoga, and I think this fits so beautifully.
And it's another one which is about kind of, but this one's more about us and the situations we find ourselves in. So, Big thanks to Christina for, for, for, for this one, or Christine, as she's more commonly called, she answers to them both, I believe. But, yeah, so let's have a go at.
Soften soothe, and allow. So with this one, we just need to find a comfortable position. So let's just get ourselves into a comfortable position.
And not so comfortable again that we're gonna fall asleep and maintaining some of that poise and dignity that really helps the meditative process. And we just begin by taking 3. Deep relaxing breaths.
So let's take a gentle breath in through our nose. Right into your tummy. Hold it, and let it go.
And another gentle breath all the way into your tummy. Hold it. And let it go.
Once again, just as in the first meditation. We just place our hand on our heart for a few moments. In order to remind ourselves that We're gonna bring kindness.
Right into ourselves today. And that's an OK thing to do. And now that we've found calm.
And my mind is settled. Just recall the difficult situation that is showing up in your life at the moment. Perhaps it's a health problem or stress in relationship or work.
Or someone close to us. And be aware of not choosing. A really difficult problem.
Or a trivial problem. We're looking for something that might generate. Just a bit of stress in the body.
And we think about it. And now let's visualise the situation that we have found ourselves in. Just think who else is concerned.
Who else is there? And involved in this situation with us. What's happening and what's happened.
And we wait. We just allow ourselves to sit. With the discomfort.
Of this situation. Allow it to make space for it. Maybe rolling our shoulders back a bit to open our chest up.
Just letting it in. And now Let's just see if we can name. The strongest emotion.
That's Showing up. Is it fair? Anger.
Longing. Once we've found the emotion that's showing up. Let's just sit with that.
And in the same way that we might validate this with a friend. Quietly just say to ourselves, you know. This is sadness.
Well, this is stress. Whatever the emotion is, this is. Just label it and allow it.
And now expand your awareness to your body as a whole. Recalling the difficult situation. And scanning our body.
Just sweeping. Our body with our mind. From our head and our forehead.
Down. Down our bodies, taking in our arms, our jets. Of middle or tailbone.
And wherever we find Any stress or discomfort or aversion, you just stop. Just notice. That tension or discomfort.
And now see if you can isolate. Where that discomfort sits in your body. And Once you've got that part.
Just gently incline. Your attention towards that. Particular part of your body.
And soften Just allow the muscles. Or any tension in that part of the body. To soften.
It comes. In the way that we apply heat to sore muscles. We just quietly saying to ourselves often.
And soften. And relax. Quietly to ourselves.
Noting we're not trying to make the sensation go away. We're just softening it. And allowing it Waiting for it to soften with you.
And now soothe yourself. Again, put your hand over your heart. And feel your body breathe.
Finding kind words. Towards ourselves. I'm sorry this is being tough.
Yeah, this is difficult, but You come through. All things pass. Just allowing and soothing ourselves.
And directing kindness to that part of your body that we isolated earlier. Just asking our mind and our body to soothe. Allowing the discomfort to be there.
Accepting of the discomfort. There for a reason. Abandoning the wish for the feeling.
Or the situation to dissipate or disappear. Letting the discomfort come. OK.
Like a guest in your home. An unwanted guest even, but a guest nonetheless that comes. And we sit with it and we allow it, and they leave.
Perhaps they come again. And we just allow it. Making space for it.
Softening Soothing. And allowing Using these three words like a mantra. Meeting our sadness, our emotion.
By softening Soothing And allowing Breathing in. And breathing out. Using our breath to help us do.
Soften. To soothe Just to allow. And when we're done, We just ease ourselves back out.
And we slowly open our eyes. That's our tension just Move out to the world around us. Taking in the familiar objects in the room that we're meditating in and.
Smiling. Noticing how different we feel now. As we softened We soothe and we've allowed.
And we've Poured that loving kindness. Into somebody in our lives. That we've been struggling with.
And As we bring this Sunday. Meditative Oasis. To a culmination I think it's worth just noting that the central tenet here.
Is to live our lives without the struggle. And to build that capacity to just Allow Be curious about the stuff of life without always charging to make things different. And I guess again this is finding a greater degree.
Of equanimity. Peacefulness and calm, isn't it? And I hope people found that.
Useful tonight. Yeah, it did me a lot of good, actually. I hadn't realised quite how I was feeling, particularly about the difficult member of the family, but that was good.
So, thank you all so much. Lovely to be meditating with people in my mind's eye. I kind of know some of you, I think, so it's, I'm just sort of thinking, well, I think I know who's on tonight.
I don't, but I'm guessing. And See if we can't take this. Really calm, warm, loving.
Approach into our week as Mr. Scanlon does the dishwasher in the background, really noisily. I don't know if you can hear it, but it sounds like I've got Shrek in the kitchen.
So, I'm a soft and soothe and allow that to. So have a lovely evening. And See you all in February and if people want to practise with the loving kindness meditation.
Do just contact the webinar vet if you'd like that one, and I can send you the URL of my version of that, which I'd be very happy to do. Good night, everybody, and see you soon.