CD is a life coach who specialises in mindset mentorship and wellness coaching for vet vets and medical professionals. CD is a working mom, a proud of two boys, in fact, and she has been qualified for over 18 years as a veterinary surgeon and is still in first opinion practise. She currently holds a postgraduate certificate in small animal surgery, life coaching diploma, and nutrition coaching certificate.

And CD has worn many hats throughout her career, and some of them include, she, she was a clinical director, a practising business owner, a clinical coach, examiner for Deshi College, and a guest lecturer for Bicton College and Bristol University. And she spends her spare time collaborating with numerous working groups and subcommittees on ethnic diversity, equality and inclusion. And in 2021, CD started her four year term as an RCBS council member.

Wow, that was quite a bio there. So thank you so much, CD, for joining us, and for giving us your time and knowledge and insights and you you shared your screen, so that's great. So, over to you.

Hi, everybody. Thank you so much, Sylvia. That was lovely.

That was a really nice introduction. I'm really pleased to be here, and I'm so glad I got to listen to Katie's talk because that was really insightful. I love that.

I'm just going to pop myself there a second, and then we can crack on. So, Today, really, guys, I just wanted to chat with you about supporting colleagues with mental ill health. And, the biggest issue people obviously tend to have is what can I say?

What shouldn't I say? But I promise you, I'm going to just try to explain to you how, understanding that mental health and well-being, pretty much like your physical health, can be sustained and improved through some really simple, simple and effective, steps. Similar to the ABC of, physical first aid, we can all give, mental health first aid to a friend or a colleague in distress.

And, going through exams, having all sorts of the stresses and pressures that you guys potentially are going through, I think it's an important, skill for us to learn and understand that it is not as, complicated as, you know, we've been led to believe. You know, everybody within the team is able to learn a specific, say steps that you can take to just help signpost, your colleagues to the correct support. This is the question of the day.

What do I say? All right? And, I get it.

OK. So what I'm going to do is just go through how to approach a colleague or a fellow student and have this open conversation. All right?

What are the key points to listening? And then communicating with that person in a really, gentle and a non-judgmental way. And, also when to give appropriate support and, correct information is needed.

It's so important that we encourage the person to seek appropriate professional help, and, just signpost them to the appropriate, and available supports. Yes, it is not easy, OK? And I promise you this is just the situation that we all have to go through sometimes, but I'll just quickly go and, I mean, Sylvia had a really lovely intro for me, but why should you listen to what it is that I'm saying?

OK, and like she said, I am a wellness coach, and I do speak a lot and I, Use a lot of what it is I've learned to author, some books and some journals so that people have tools to use, especially with, mental struggles that we might have. So I'm a mental health first aider. And I'm a mom, and, I'm a well-being educated just because it's stuff that I have been so interested in and really decided I needed to use, for the betterment of our community.

You know, this was me before, guys. I'll give you a little bit of background as to why I do this. And it's important, you get Kind of the lived experience that I've had with the subject.

You know, I felt really positive. I was happy. And, I did realise that I was struggling, you know, managing my time, and especially around my business and work, family, friends, and all of those things that come together.

It's, you know, on the outside, I seemed pretty much together. But I was silently crying inside, you know? And as we all do when we start struggling, I had that A little tinge of impostor syndrome, because I just felt underqualified to manage my team.

So I filled my spare time with loads and loads of other stuff. So I did a postgraduate certificate, in surgery, and I did loads of leadership programmes. And, you know, the, they started being cracks, OK?

And what started happening is, you started seeing certain signs of things probably not going very well. So I started having, just working really late all the time. Mind you, I was on, on and off a solvette for 5 years, OK?

And it meant that I was in work and I had a practise that was A 9 to 7 practise, and it opened 7 days a week. And I was on a call pretty much, I'd say for the 5 years, 90% of the time. So it was full on.

Obviously, I started having some symptoms that were not ideal. And, I, I started feeling fairly sad about things. And, I was overwhelmed by the amount of work that I had actually placed on myself.

Started getting into scraps with, you know, loved ones who were trying to just support me. And the worst thing is I started getting panic attacks, but I didn't even know I was having panic attacks. I just thought I was being silly.

And it all culminated in me having a serious vomiting incident where I just couldn't stop. And, It was a difficult situation, but that was me. I ended up, you know, my people pleasing, poor boundaries, excessive stress, and just constantly putting myself last.

I ended up, you know, in hospital. It was up to 4 times since 2019. And I took that picture at the top, knowing that I needed to tell people this.

And I knew I looked awful, but I was like, I'm gonna have to use this and make sure that there's something positive that comes from this. You know, I had finally reached the end of the line. I had to figure out how to find some peace whilst doing my job, without sacrificing my mental health and also pretty much destroying my physical health.

Any further, because this is something that I was actively doing to myself. So this is my life today, you know, I had to make a choice as to how I can do what I love doing, and just find the freedom in doing what I do, surrounded by people who love me and definitely cuddling puppies. So I'm still in first opinion practise whilst I do everything else.

So burnout is a big thing for me because that's what pretty much happened to me. So I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a psychologist, or I do not propose to be a mental health expert. However, I am a trained wellness coach and a well-being educator.

So, I will help you find kind of motivation and tools to get your physical and emotional health goals in check. You know, whether it's better food choices or lowering your stress, or making sure that the life work balance is just that. You know, but as a mental first aider, I just want you to know that I'm able to identify and understand how someone might be experiencing a mental health crisis.

And, You know, we have practical skills that we get taught how to spot the triggers and the signs of mental health issues. And I'm pretty confident in when it is I need to step in and reassure and support a person in distress. So if you're ready to get started, please let me know if what we're chatting about resonates with you, or there's something that you think, hmm, I don't know.

I haven't heard that before. So all of you note takers, you can put your pencils down, you can put your pens down. There's no need for you guys to take any more notes because you can download all of this later.

So I'll provide you with resources, OK? So, what I wanted to really talk about is think about how you guys actually take time out. What do you do?

Are you, go for a walk with the dog or, take a hot bubble bath, you know, open, you know, have a little sneaky glass of wine? You know, what is it that you do or binge watch Netflix? You know, whatever it is, there's no judgement here.

Fire, just think about what it is you do. What we're gonna talk about in the next, 30 minutes. So it's basically how stress and mental health are linked.

OK? We're also gonna talk about the facts and figures, you know, and people throw these around as if they mean something. I'll tell you how to actually make those mean something to you.

And then the language that we use. This is very important, OK? The next bit we're gonna talk about is the myths and, the truth.

You know, what's a myth? What's the truth? And also most importantly, how to start conversations with people, because that is the crux of things, and then we'll talk about the resources.

So Katie really beautifully touched on this and how the amygdala kind of hijacks us, but you know what is stress and . And we know that it's a process that involves this perception and appraisal and then responses to pretty much a harmful stimuli, all right? It is supposed to be reserved for really dangerous and life threatening situations, but we are experiencing.

These, sensations of stress on a regular basis, even though our lives are not in the threat. So I'm gonna chat to you about a, a system called, basically your stress signature. So what is your stress signature?

Imagine these, funnels as, having a stress container. All right? All of us have a different size, stress container.

And the stress container model is used by the mental health first aid, group, and they're fabulous. But basically, think about it this way. So you've got all the stressful stuff that's happening.

All right? So you've got work, you've got relationships, you've got potentially, you know, specific trauma incidences that you might have gone through. And then you've got other stresses like health, family, money.

And, with regards to Money, we might have a situation where we're feeling this more and more often, especially in the, you know, in the next few months and potentially years, and then there's also bereavement. OK, so you've got all of this filling up. And what happens is, You can imagine all of this stuff goes into this container, and how vulnerable you are is shown by the size of your containers.

So some of us might have really big containers, others have really small containers. But the truth is, if this container overflows, this is when the, you know, like our problems develop, and this is what your stress signature will look like. All of us have different stress signatures, and your tolerance to stress will be very different from The person sat next to you.

OK? So it's very unique and it's dedicated because it's a personal experience. So there are ways in which we are able to, release stress.

So if we, have a system where we can open the tap, and then we can just take all of that stress out, and it's a good way to do this on a regular basis. However, there are some ways that are not helpful. OK.

So, These coping mechanisms tend to block the tap. And, also increase the more stress. So things like drugs and alcohol, overeating, overworking, because you're stressed, then you basically work more, and then not sleeping properly and maybe self-medicating.

Now, this doesn't include taking medication that has been prescribed for you, OK? That's different, that you need to complete and follow as instructed. All right?

What I need to talk about here is just touch on this. When you actually have these chats with yourself, which are probably not helpful, you know, you have negative self-talk, OK? These the signals to your brain to release dopamine.

OK. You need to understand something, guys. This is involved in habit forming and addictive behaviour.

So think about it this way. You say something really unkind to yourself about how hopeless you are. You've done something and it hasn't worked out.

You actually release dopamine. You feel a little bit bad about yourself, but what happens is that you choose an unproductive coping mechanism. After that happens, you then start feeling bad again.

You say to yourself, Well, that wasn't helpful, and you start saying more and more unhelpful things. So this never-ending loop, not great. So we need to figure out ways of helpful coping mechanisms.

OK? This way we can release the tap of all the stress that's going in, and it can come out. So, having proper, you know, planned ideas and things that you can do for to improve your well-being and self-care, whether it's good nutrition or, adequate sleep.

Talking about your feelings is so important because this will actually definitely release that kind of container of stress and making time for your for your hobbies and Making sure that you're active, OK? And I mean like having a stroll now and then. So Stress basically will change, the brain structure, OK?

This is so important. It definitely will reduce the size of your brain because it does kill some of those brain cells, and it'll hurt your memory and increases, the chances of you experiencing mental ill health. So, please think about this because when you're in that That system where everything is so stressful.

Just be aware that, you know, stress-related worry, sleep disruption, increased heart rate, you feel like your heart's about to jump out of your chest. It does actually, it, it is related to the memory impairments and reduced ability to hold new information. So you've got to think about this as a priority, to manage your stress.

Now, the question is, are stress and sleep and are these recovery rituals all really that important? The answer's yes. OK.

So, similar to nutrition and fitness and your cognitive function, if you don't manage your stress, you know, you will find out very quickly. It definitely, a lack of sleep will wreck havoc, with all your body systems, but especially with your cognition. So please make sure that you prioritise this.

OK, this is one of the resources that I have actually ensured that you guys will have. So, it's pretty much just specific stress relief tips, which I'm sure some of you already are using. So what about the mental health bit?

OK, Mental health is defined pretty much as You know, it's, it's more than simply an absence of mental illness, OK? And the World Health organisation says that it's a state of mental well-being. That enables people to cope with stresses of life, realise their abilities, learn well, and also work well.

But it also says so that you can contribute to your community. So a community could be anything. It doesn't have to be just where you live, or in, you know, in your house where you share with your mates or your flatmates.

It can be anything, and it includes your classmates. So that could be your community at the time. So it's so important to understand that our emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical social well-being really affect how, how we think, how we feel, and how we act.

It's, it's all interactive, but Remember I talked about the different size of our stress containers. Because of this, mental health exists on the spectrum. OK?

So it's experienced differently by different people, and there are varying degrees of difficulty or distress, and they're also very different social and clinical outcomes. So try not to superimpose your Situation onto a colleague that might need assistance. OK.

So there's a mental health resource about this, and it's pretty much an A to Z about all the mental health charities that are out there. And I feel very strongly about this because I believe all of us should have this on hand. In our pockets, so you just don't know when you're gonna need to have access to that phone number so you can ring somebody.

So our next bit we're gonna talk about is some facts and figures. You know, they like to spend about these huge numbers, saying there's between 42 $45 billion dollars or pounds per annum, that's, you know, mental ill health related, costs to the workplace. It's not really useful to us, is it?

The reality is we want to know how this affects me. You know, how it's gonna affect my colleague, my best friend. So I want you to imagine that there are 10 people in a room.

So there's 9 other people, including yourself. And when I talk about the section about, facts and figures, now you guys know how to work out what 1% is, what 10% is, what 20% is. So it says here it's estimated that 20% of the world population is sleep deprived, which means that two people in that room with you are sleep deprived.

OK? That's what I need you guys to kind of think of. I think 2021 saw a new record of adults worldwide experiencing high amounts of stress.

It basically jumped . By 5% all the way up to 40%. That's a lot of people, all right.

So, Again, I'm not gonna talk about all the different mental health conditions that are there. There are so many, and this is a completely separate, talk. OK.

So, but we're talking about anxiety. We're talking about, those panic attacks I was talking about, that I had, stress, you know, severe depression, OCD, schizophrenia. It's, it, there's a multitude of them.

But what's important is this, guys. 75% of mental illness starts before the age of 18. Excluding dementia, but So 75% of this will start before the age of 18.

OK. What's more scary is 1 in 4 people experience mental ill health. Each year.

1 in 4, so look in that room again. You sat around with your 9 friends. And think how many of those friends potentially we're talking about.

OK. And up to 75% of people with diagnosable mental illness receive no treatment. At all.

OK. So if you haven't lost a colleague or a classmate to SARS to suicide, you probably know somebody who has, because the reality is, you know, studies have repeatedly found significantly higher rates of burnout, depression and suicide, and suicidal ideas in the veterinary profession. Especially when compared to the general public in the US and the UK.

People are afraid to talk about this, but I think this is so important. Vet nurses are between 2.5 and 5 times more likely to die by suicide than the general population.

And the most recent data shows that veterinary surgeons are between 1.6 and 2.4 times more likely to die by suicide than the general population.

I'm going to talk about age. I'm going to talk about the different factors that can potentially affect mental ill health. And this is specifically about the age.

Of students, OK, and it's found that 34% of students in higher education settings report having psychological difficulties for which they needed professional help. How many of that is, is in your room, guys? That's at least 3 of your friends.

One could be you. 1 may not be you. They haven't necessarily told their friends, but they have needed professional help.

Women Between the ages of 16 and 24 are almost 3 times as likely to experience a common mental health issue. As males at the same age. So yeah, it we're not all the same.

We're definitely not all the same. But I find that the last figure is more alarming that 20% of young people with mental ill ill health will wait more than 6 months before they actually receive any care or help from a specialist. And yes, sexuality and gender definitely have some play in this, because you do find between 10 and 32% of young people who identify as LGBQT plus have attempted suicide in their lifetime.

All of these, you know, whether it's developing anxiety disorders or anything like that, these things are definitely something that you need to be mindful of and think about this. People don't like speaking about it because it feels like you're specifically, you know, targeting groups, but you're not. These are, these are facts.

These are figures that I got from recent publications. With regards to race and ethnicity, you know, the common mental health disorders and issues such as depression, anxiety are common, and they're more common in black and black British women than among any other ethnic groups. OK, and it's found that BAM groups are less likely to report accessing mental health treatment than white British people.

Again, There is no judgement here. These are just. Facts and information that I think it's important that you have.

Awareness of. Next, we're just gonna talk about language. This is so important because our understanding of mental health has significantly changed, you know, and developed in the recent decades.

But there remains a history of systemic, stigmatisation, and it's still, you know, it's, it is still pervasive in our, in our languaging, so we need to be careful. You know, the words we use. Can form barriers between people seeking help, and a motivator for making discrimination pretty much acceptable.

And we need to be very, very mindful of this. OK, so I need you to do, a little exercise with me. So close your eyes.

Nobody's in the room with you, which is fine, so close your eyes and I want you to imagine this. You know, whether it's a gorgeous, Sunday morning, and your mom, your grand, your dad, your granddad, whoever it was who used to be the person to do this in your house, has baked these amazing cakes or bread, and it's just wafting through, and it smells amazing. It might have been cookies, it might have been croissants.

Think about that smell. It kind of transports you back to however old you were, you know, it could be even the sign of cut grass or the smell early in spring. Now open your eyes.

What that is is that it's it's it's a cognitive exercise, and our subconscious brain associates words with ideas and feelings without us even realising it. OK, it's called associative action. And this process happens almost instantly.

It triggers memories, associations in a series of cognitive, emotional and physical responses. Why am I telling you this? That's where the languaging is so important, OK?

So, By being more thoughtful about the words we use in our everyday lives and workplaces, it just means that we can take more care of those around us and create this more inclusive and accepting culture. Now, there's a warning at the bottom of the slide, and the warning just means I need to let you know I'm going to speak specifically in the next two slides. About suicide, OK?

So be warned if you need to just take a breath or Brace yourself. There is nothing alarming in what I'm gonna tell you, but it's just a warning. It's so important that the language we talk about.

Is appropriate. OK. Traditionally, people would say that someone had committed suicide.

The word committed comes from historical view of suicide being both a crime and a sin. Suicide is not the guys. And using this term implies that the person is guilty of something, and therefore a bad person.

So you then cause further distress with the bereaved families, friends, and colleagues. So, I would challenge us to start languaging this in a slightly more thoughtful way. OK, so what do you say?

So the expression such as took their own life, ended their own life, or died by suicide, is a lot more appropriate. And similarly, just be aware that saying that a survivor of suicide attempt was unsuccessful implies that that death would have been a success. So this expression really should be avoided as well.

OK. But then you're thinking, oh, you know, what should I say? You know, you know, language can also be so, like, throwaway.

We can use terms relating to mental health problems to describe everyday annoyances and personality traits. You know, for instance, this is what you might have. So if somebody's really particular about laying out their instruments or having their books or everything in a certain way, you know, you can say, Oh, my goodness, you know, he's so OCD.

Or somebody who sometimes feels high, feels low, and then they refer to themselves as, oh, I'm totally bipolar today. Maybe, and this happens to us, you know, you've got a drip pump pumping away, and it starts yelling, and you get so frustrated and you say, that thing beats at me one more time. I'm, honestly, I'm gonna shoot myself.

I think we need to be really careful. It's these non-intentional things that we sometimes say. We need to understand that all of them, Basically trivialise the experience of the people who genuinely actually suffer from those mental health disorders.

OK? So, obsessive compulsive disorder is a serious debilitating disorder. Someone who is living with bipolar, it is not something that they choose.

So I think we need to be so much more thoughtful, especially when we didn't mean it. That is when we actually can cause some distress. So what shouldn't I say, you know?

We can also take more care when we're talking about, people's experiencing mental health problems. So, if you're in a communal area, whether it's a prep room or it's the common room, but I think actually, the important thing here is when you're actually with close family and friends and nobody else is around, that's when you should be saying things and saying, actually, I don't think that's, that's right, you know? So, you know, describing a person's experience of of having mental health is, you know, saying a person is experienced mental health problems, a person is living with depression, a person is being treated for anorexia.

So this acknowledges that experience, and also, you know, also allows the other parts to exist. So it's called first, you know, person first languaging. And what we don't want to do is saying they are depressed or they have anorexia, because it feels like they've got nothing else except for those things.

So these are really great ways in which you can Language this without really causing any problems. OK. So A lot of people have We we're all different, you know, whether it's, you want to You know, pronounced tomato, tomato, potato, whatever it is.

What I need you to understand is . The term mental illness can be OK. Some people prefer mental ill health.

Other people will prefer mental health problems. Other people will prefer mental health challenges. It doesn't matter.

The reality is, ask the person who is suffering from whatever it is, what it is they prefer. OK, so don't make that call for them. Just be kind.

And ask them, you know, some people prefer condition rather than disorder, or people feel significant over severe implies less judgement. So we want to maintain less judgement when we're talking to people. So That's languaging bit.

It's quite a lot to take in, it's a bit heavy. I know, I'm sorry. I had to put that in because this is the crux of how we communicate with each other.

This next bit is a bit of fun, all right? So we're gonna just discuss some myths versus some truths. So let's just dispel some of the ridiculous myths about mental health, OK?

So There's several of them, and, they can really affect how people, perceive mental illness and how, you know, how they might experience it. So, myth or truth, go on, shout it out. You're there by yourself, no one can hear you, so it's all right.

So mental health problems are rare, OK? This is Pegasus, as we all know, nice Greek mythology and I was looking for a unicorn picture and I came up with him and I thought that's nice because that's the suggestions that mental health problems are rare, aren't they? The reality is, I said this before, World Health organisation estimates 1 in 4 people who experience mental health disorder at some point in their lives.

So, I wouldn't say 1 in 4 is rare at all. So, I'd say, we can say that's a myth. Myth number 2.

Myth or truth, guys, asking for help is a sign of weakness. I think the picture should actually kind of give you a hint to that one. All right?

Anyone can develop a mental health condition. And acknowledging this can really be an important first step in getting help. And, you know, this can really demonstrate your strength and your courage.

In the same way that somebody who's got, diabetes uses insulin to manage that condition or gets a hearing aid so that they can hear better. It's not a sign of weakness to actually require assistance if you've got mental health issues. Myth or truth, number 3.

I can't help my colleague experiencing mental health problems. Again, there's a little. Sign on the side to tell you with that picture.

Would you actually Not assist somebody who's just suffered from a cardiac arrest. I don't think any of us would walk away, OK? You can let your, your partners, your colleagues, your friends know that you're available to help.

You know, you can signposts to mental health services and help them access it. You know, you can really challenge the stereotypes and inappropriate language that you hear in the workplace or at uni or anywhere else where you guys are. OK?

So that's a myth that you can't help. That is definitely not a truth. OK?

Myth or truth. Number 4, my problems are not significant enough to help. You know?

Other people have bigger problems. You've, you've kind of just let me know if this sounds anywhere familiar. So I've got this, like, basically, I'm thinking someone's had a real bad injury, and I'm complaining about my little, you know, pinprick, basically on my finger.

Is this true? Again, that's a myth. The truth is, there are various therapies available, you know, they're not limited to specific diagnosis.

They can help with almost anything that affects somebody's well-being. And seeking help early is always positive. So just because you had a pinprick or you've broken your leg, it doesn't mean, you know, one is more important than the other.

Everybody deserves help. Myth number 5, last one. Asking a colleague about their mental health challenges will make things worse.

I think this is probably the most important one, because asking a colleague about their mental health challenges will not make it worse. Asking a colleague if they're considering harming themselves will not push thoughts into their head. That is a very damaging myth that has been going around for years and years.

It definitely will not push them into acting on any of these thoughts. So please, please, please understand that if you were to ask somebody anything about their mental health, you will not be the person who causes anything to happen to them. Chances are, they will be so happy somebody asked and cared about them.

Yeah, we come to the crux of it now, guys. How do we start the conversation? You know, what do you say?

What are the do's and don'ts? OK. What if I say the wrong thing?

This is a genuine, you know, fear, so we'll just go through the quick steps on how to do this, OK? And we've got Deirdre here on the left with our polka dots, met Sarah, with the stripey top. And, she's thinking, Now Deirdre's been acting a bit strange.

She's kind of withdrawn. We haven't seen a lot of her. And she's really quiet, and she hasn't interacted as she normally does.

So Sarah decides she's the one who's gonna ask her. So she goes over and she says, Hey, Deirdre, you OK? She's thinking oh no, she's coming over to speak to me, really, really concerned, you know.

And then decides she's gonna ask this. What's wrong with you? You know, option one.

Option 2, what's your problem? Now, what do you think of these, potentially, Little bit aggressive, maybe, because we're asking you what's wrong with you and what's your problem. And chances are Deirdre is gonna say, I'm fine, thanks.

Please just go. I'm really not comfortable talking to you. What's better is maybe asking them.

What's worrying you today? How are you doing this morning? What's on your mind right now?

All I've done is added in. Time. OK.

Because when you ask questions that are too vast and too huge, people will say, I'm fine, just leave it. It's too big for me to even start talking. So if you ask somebody, how are you doing this morning?

They might stop and say, actually, could we maybe go somewhere quiet, you know. So that's the first approach, you know, we basically approached the person we asked, and chances are she might be thinking, oh, thank goodness somebody's noticed, but then she's thinking, I better not cry, you know, I'm a bit down, I better not cry. Step 2, listen and communicate non-judgmentally.

OK? And this can be hard because we are scientists, we're scientific people, we like to help and like to solve problems. Your job is not to solve anybody's problem, OK?

Your, your job is to listen and communicate with them in a very kind and loving way. How can I help? That that's all you need to say.

How can I help? And sometimes the answer might be, I don't know, you probably can't. And that probably thinking, I don't know how to tell this to anybody.

So that's not a bad way, but there are better ways. How about something easy, like, shall I get you a cup of tea or coffee? Guess what?

You've given a choice, tea, please. And then you ask, Would you like to talk about home or work, you know, again, a choice. And guess what?

It's actually home stuff that's kind of bothering me. And even though everybody was thinking, It must be work. She's so grumpy at work, actually it's home stuff.

Give the appropriate support. So as she's telling you about the home stuff, whatever is going on, ask simple short questions. What happened next?

You know, and it's just been hard to talk about, she might say. By the way, it's OK for there to be that comfortable. Silence.

You don't need to be talking all the time. And she might just need to take a breath. It's OK.

Encourage the person to get support and professional help and definitely signpost them to where they can get it. You know, whether it's a case of, you know, I have a few resources that might, you might find useful. Oh, thanks, you know, thanks for listening, she might say.

And then you might even say, you know, do you have any of these contact details for the support? And you know what, even though we know, you might think, oh, I didn't even think of that. I know they gave us all these sheets.

I never even thought about it. So These are the steps again, guys. You don't have to remember these as a If I get something wrong or in the wrong way, I could get into trouble and I might hurt my friend.

That is not true. So You can use, you know, acronym AG, which is approach the person, listen and communicate non-judgmentally, give appropriate support, encourage professional support, and then encourage the signposting to proper help and different support. We are not asking you to tell them what to do, how to do it, or anything of the sort.

It's the same as just waiting until the paramedics get there if you're doing, you know, ABCs of First aid, this is the same. You need to hand them over to the professionals, but the first thing you need to do is just listen nonjudgmentally, all right? And that is the most important thing.

So here are some resources I've put together for you. And the reason I've done this is I do believe it's so important for all of these charities that you have everything all in one place. And yes, you could Google all of them depending on what you needed.

And when you're having a good day and you can sit there and Google, you're fine. When you're having a particularly bad day, or your friend is having a particularly bad day, it might be, you don't even remember the name of any single one of these. Had I had a resource like this that I had in my pocket, at least I would have been able to reach out and actually speak to somebody.

But I'm telling you, on my bad days, I couldn't even remember what the Samaritans. I couldn't remember that name. So this resource, guys, has got all of these, mental health, Details, the telephone numbers, all the links are live.

So it's a PDF you click and the link will actually take you directly there, OK? So make sure you access these because even if you don't need them, at least you have them, and you can forward this to somebody who might need it. I've also put together a wellness tool.

Some of my, students put this in, prep rooms or at home. And just double check with yourself, you know, whether, you know, Katie was speaking about breath work and meditation. I'm, you know, I love this stuff, and I'm very much always talking about this.

And you, Sleep and proper nutrition and getting good supplements and gratitude, practise. All of these things are so important. So these are all wrapped into one tool kit.

It's a single page. Again, it's just for you to kind of keep reminding yourself what do I need to do to make sure I don't, you know, let all of this build up in my stress container. These are the stress relief tips I was telling you about.

So you get that one as well. And you're able to just kind of screenshot then you can go onto the, onto the site. It's all free.

You don't need to pay for any of these. And, because I love food, I have put together everything about the stress reducing foods you can choose. And because we don't normally have foods that look like this in practise, or any of your placements, it tends to be really high sugar, high fat, which is not useful.

And in October, I'm starting a mini, a self-care. It's just a challenge. It's for you guys to just follow with your, with your friends.

It's 7 days of us doing something really simple on a daily basis, and you can just kind of nudge each other to kind of look after each other, OK? Because self-care and mental health definitely kind of all fall together. But if you need to ask me any questions or get hold of me, That's me over there, to get a hold of me, at gardener.coaching@gmail, and I'm also on Instagram.

Fantastic. Thank you, City so much for that. So yes guys, if you have any questions, pop them in the Q&A box, and I have, I have a couple actually, so.

A lot of us are, you know, very time poor and on top of that just, you know, working a lot, maybe overworked and sort of stress starts to build up and at some point we might sort of realise, oh, I'm feeling a bit stressed out or anxious or, you know, whatever, however we sort of term it, so. And, and there's sort of a lot of many different sort of quick ways or short term ways of dealing with it, and, and there's some longer term ways of dealing with it, but do you have any suggestions of on, you know, I know what works for me and different things will work for different people, but, you know, could you give us maybe like the sort of commonest two or three ways that seem to work when in, in this kind of immediate situation, like I have a couple minutes, I need to change that mindset. I need to somehow snap out of it.

What, what could somebody, do in that situation? Yeah, I think this goes back to similar to what Katie was also speaking about is reframing, you know, the situation. And sometimes we're so engaged in what's happening now and actually, if you would just to stop.

And do some breathing. And people find this annoying when you say, breathe. And the reason it does that, it snaps your body out of where it's going into this stress and fight or flight, because you've allowed, you just, it's a habit that we've allowed.

So by breathing, you do actually break that cycle. But the most important thing is, I see this. I work in a mixed practise and all sorts is happening, but I do have to send my team members, and I said, do the thing.

And they're like, What now? And I was like, Yes, do the thing. And I'm like, they need to leave the room.

And they go outside, they take 5 breaths of fresh air and they come back in. And I'm like, All right, now look at it again. And it just stops your brain from, you know, catastrophizing where everything is going to be awful because we have trained ourselves to I think that things are worse than what they actually are.

So, definitely breathing is one of the thing. One of my friends does a lot of journaling. I do a lot of journaling, but you can write down how your day went in the evenings.

But in the mornings, you can plan how you want your day to go. And then in the morning and evening, you can compare. But what you're doing is releasing all of that every day, instead of it building up in your brain, thinking, Oh, you haven't done that.

And you haven't done that. You definitely haven't done that, and you can't sleep because your brain doesn't like open loops. So when you write it down, it closes the loop and you can go to bed.

That's a nice, a nice way of explaining and closing the loop. I really, really like that. And with the breathing actually one of the things that I tend to do, and it's some I, I heard.

Ages ago now, but because I felt when I heard about breathing, I was sort of similar like oh I need to breathe while I'm breathing already, like, how do you want me to breathe? And it was having that sort of visual representation of a square and they're following it in my mind and breathing so for 4 seconds or 4 breaths in, 44 breaths out and then. 5 and then 6 and sort of prolonging that, and that really, really helped me.

Yeah, yeah. There's, there's different box breathing. You can do 457.

You can do all different types. It just depends on what suits you. Some people start panicking when they do the longer one.

So you just figure out what, what suits you. What you. And, before we sort of have our quick break, one other question, about, so if you mentioned that, you know, we're not asking people sort of to do anything when they sort of have see a colleague in distress, just have that kind of kind, compassionate conversation and you know, I found it really, really interesting what you said about the language, but just to give an example, and I guess this is where I, I don't know where this falls into and so I guess I'm, I'm asking for your opinion.

And it might be useful to the listeners. So, I, I, I had a an episode where I went through some anxiety a while back and and I ended up having a panic attack and I called my practise, I tried to reach numerous people and finally I managed to get hold of my one of the ladies, in, in the office, but she didn't know what to do, and I didn't know what was happening to me, and actually she, she passed me on to one of the vets who who actually managed to tell me things to calm me down, and she knew exactly sort of what she was doing and sort of afterwards I asked her like, oh how did you know what to tell me? I was like, 01 of my friends been through something and I was so helpless.

I just looked it up on Google and I just remember it sort of two exercises that I can help people and obviously that that's sort of that was really, really helpful to me and that's what I needed in the immediate situation. But if we're not asking people to do anything, I mean, where is the line? I think, I think this is more of a case of noticing that somebody might be acting different, doing different, and is struggling, and Try not to just leave it as that's got nothing to do with me.

You know, a lot of people tend to not do or say anything because of fear that they might say the wrong thing. And the reality, you very rarely say the wrong thing, especially if you're the type of person who's empathetic enough to see that somebody else needs help. The fact that you can say, How are you doing today?

That might be all somebody needed to hear. You know? And sometimes, you know, leaving somebody to go off, and then you're thinking to yourself, Oh, I should have said something.

I really should have said something. And this happens to a lot of us who have experienced suicide within a practise because we go over and over in our minds, should I have said something, I shouldn't this is something I want people to understand that there are things they can say, and it's just the languaging. It's just using language where you take them out of yesterday and the day, you just bring them to today.

How are you feeling today? How are you feeling this morning? You know, would you like a cup of tea?

So what you're doing is pulling them out of that and into now. So being present is so important. OK, no, that makes sense.

Great. Thank you so much. And so thank you for your presentation, your insights, your knowledge, and sharing all these resources.

I'll go back and have a look at them myself, so, looking forward to that. So yeah, thank you very much. It's a pleasure.

Thank you for having me, and I hope, everybody has a lovely weekend.