Oh, hello, good evening. Welcome everyone. Come on in.

I've got my, little mini saucepan. I'm having a small quiet because my husband is upstairs trying to put Eva to sleep. Small bang of a saucepan for our wonderful, amazing NHS.

So welcome, good evening, everyone, and . Yes, thank you very much to all our wonderful, amazing healthcare workers. That's probably quite annoying me banging that, but yeah, I just felt like I wanted to join in.

It's all going on outside the window at the moment. Isn't it weird how back on 28th of January, when we started this, if you just said that in the final session, Jenny would be starting this session banging a saucepan with a, with a wooden spoon and everyone would know why it would have been the weirdest thing. So, welcome, welcome, can't believe it's our final Q&A.

How did that happen? So yeah, here we are, end of April, we are. Three months in, aren't we, kind of February, March, April, yeah, that we've been on our journey together.

So, we've got our Q&A session tonight. We've got 7 duty questions. So I know these sessions can, can go on a little bit, so I'm gonna actually just dive straight in, and then we'll save a few minutes at the end just to kind of bring everything together, and give you some final parting thoughts and just resources to be moving on with as well, so.

It's looking like there's a good number of people joining in. Hello, hello. Marvellous.

Right, OK. So I'm gonna crack straight on. And first up is Becca Howell.

Becca, let me just see if you're, yes, there you are on the call, lovely. Oh, can everyone just tap right live into the chat box, which is working tonight? You'll be pleased to know, just so we can track you for your CPD.

So Becca's question. Was, is rather, that she's been reading Doctor Tara Swart's book The Source, and in it, one of the things that she talks about is the need to master your emotions. And Becca was saying that I've been struggling with this, so while I can see the benefit of not reacting in a a really knee jerk way, she's also saying that I wonder if by feeling an emotion, but then expressing it either in a different way or not at all, if that's actually suppressing or numbing what we truly feel.

So she's saying her brain interprets it as what I'm thinking or feeling is therefore wrong, and I need to change it. And it's sounding like there's feeling like a little bit of discord there, Becca. And yes, it does totally make sense.

And she's also saying, furthermore, I'm struggling to tell the difference between my intuition and my brain or ego telling me not to do or try something because it's coming from a place of fear. So I think what you're saying there, Becca, is if you're feeling, if you're feeling like, oh, I've got a gut feeling, I'm not sure about that, you're not sure if that's actually genuinely a gut feel or whether it's fear getting in the way because it's a bit scary. So, yes, I have some tips on how to decipher the two.

So we'll start with the, mastering your emotions. So, Our and I completely agree, what we don't want to do is pretend we're not having the emotion, feel like it was the wrong emotion to have, or suppress it or not feel it or try and transmute it when that's not really what you feel. So I haven't read the book, although it looks really interesting.

I might, I'm probably gonna get it and have a read of it. I'm suspecting what she means by master your emotions is more kind of learning how to use them. And modify them when you need to, because our emotions and feelings are actually, they're like our internal signalling system.

They're so super useful. It's kind of like an internal GPS that lets you know when you're coming out of alignment with who you truly are and the true nature of your being. So, because I, I can see that the book has elements of law of attraction and all that kind of stuff and that's something that I've been studying for, for years.

. So what, what we're meaning by that is that tuning into your. Tuning into your feelings and your emotions, like I say, it's kind of . You're, if, if something feels less than good, less than a good emotion, then it's worth paying attention to.

It's actually a really useful signal. But it's then about applying some critical awareness and looking at it, and sometimes, thinking, OK, well, am I just feeling a little bit rubbish because actually I'm really tired and I didn't sleep very well last night, or, I mean, if you're female, and in that part of my cycle where actually quite often I feel a bit rubbish, or. Is this not a hormonal or tiredness thing, and actually it does, you know, it's persisting for a couple of days.

This is genuinely, a sort of persistent emotion. And then it's about kind of seeing where that emotion sits on, on the scale of emotion. So I think I've mentioned this before, but I just want to hop in and show you this diagram, if I haven't done already.

So we'll see if I can share that and just make this a bit bigger. Oh, can I make that window bigger. Rich, just let me know, can you see the whole of that diagram?

Yeah, it starts in security and then finishes with joy appreciation. Yeah, so we've got kind of fear, grief, depression, despair, powerlessness down the bottom. OK, so it sounds like you can see that.

So we actually, our feelings, we've got in a, in a way, two different aspects of of the way our psyche works. We've got our thoughts which are generated in our mind, and they're more like electrical signals. So if you think about electromagnetics, you have, do you remember in physics you used to have to do that funny thing with your hands where you had the electrics going in one direction and the magnetics, and I can't remember what the third one was now because physics was never a strong point.

So our thoughts are like the electric part, but then our feelings, we actually, different, different emotions generates, a different electromagnetic wave in our body. And this has been the, you can actually measure this. So if you look at the Heart Math Institute over in the States.

They've really tuned into that, you know, when you're feeling, let's say, anger, or, or if you're feeling boredom, then those emotions actually are created by different neurotransmitters. Let me just check my chat box a minute. OK, that's just someone saying live good, I think, .

Yes, the, the our different emotions come from different neuropeptides and different hormonal signals when we feel an emotion, and that actually changes the electromagnetic frequency of our of our heart. Because our heart has so many hormonal and electrical connections in it. So you can put someone in the, you can use a thing called a squid manometer.

I can't remember what the SQUID stands for, but you can actually measure this. So we, the, the electromagnetics of our heart, can be registered about 3 ft away from the human body. So we actually have this like field of electromagnetics around us.

And, and that, that's vibrating. So, so we're vibrating and in just the same way that we're constantly translating vibrations. So when you look at something that your eyes are translating the light wave and then turning that into vision.

When we're hearing stuff, we're translating sound waves and turning that into auditory input. When you touch something, there's a pressure wave that's then converted into sensation. We use this all the time in diagnostics in veterinary when you're using an ultrasound, you're sending ultrasound waves through and converting that to an image.

Feelings work in a similar way in that we have different vibrational states. So probably what's, and, and this comes into, when you get into the realms of law of attraction and manifestation, anyone who's read any about that, anything about that, it's, it's all about our vibrational state and shifting that. So, but, but our emotions do go on this kind of scale.

So when we're feeling very low, rubbishy emotions, so right at the bottom, we've got kind of fear, grief, depression, despair, like the worst feelings you can have. The electromagnetics we emit are very low frequency, and from that place, you're never ever gonna jump immediately right up here to enthusiasm and passion and and joy, it's just too big a jump for us to make. So so.

But what we can do is when you're feeling something negative, you can tune in and, and Irene talks about having emotional literacy, so being able to think, right, what is it? I'm feeling rubbish, what is it? Because often the first thing we get is just a sensation of not feeling right.

But if you've not reflected on it or thought about it very much, you don't know exactly what you're feeling. Like, is it discontent or boredom, or is it actually jealousy or is it comparisonized or, or what is it? Then you can kind of think about where you're sitting on this scale.

And sometimes that negative feeling is an entirely appropriate response. If you've just had a fight with your partner or you've just heard some upsetting news, it's completely appropriate that you feel a a lower negative emotion, that's an appropriate response. And actually trying to pretend you're not feeling it or suppress it isn't very good.

So it's about feeling that, but then it's about, it, it sort of goes back to that mindfulness thing we were talking about before, where we're, we're treading a line, we imagine being on a balance bar and on one end of that bar is numbing, so pretending you're not feeling it and ignoring the feelings which we don't want. And on the other end of the of that extreme is obsessively thinking about it or really over identifying with that feeling or emotion or being defined by it. So we wanna be kind of somewhere in the middle, of that.

And then once you've felt those feelings for an appropriate amount of time, it's then about, so mashing your emotions is knowing that our emotions come with a bit of a refractory period. So if you don't do anything about an emotion, it will kind of hang around. And so if that's optimism or positive expectation, that's great, let that hang around, fan the flames of that one.

But if you're sitting feeling blame, or if you're overtly in worry or doubt, then we don't really want that to have a long refractory period. And that's when if you choose to, you can start to do something to shift your vibrational state. But we're not, again, we're not wanting to jump straight from here all the way up to the here.

It's about knowing that at the moment, if you, you know, with what we're going through with COVID, a lot of people have been through a sort of bereavement process where. They did have a bit of denial and then went through a phase of feeling anger, and then coming up to sort of frustration and moving through those stages. So, let's say if you're feeling angry, if you're feeling depressed and really, really low, but then you reach a point of anger, anger's not a nice emotion either, but it's heading in the right direction.

It's actually a higher vibrational feeling than depression. But then you don't want to stay there too long, you want to keep moving through. So it's about having tools and techniques to just keep moving your emotional state up a little bit.

and doing that might involve talking to a friend, moving your body, having a long bath, you know, knowing those sorts of things that can help you to feel a bit better. But it's not about pretending you're not feeling the feels. Also, we need that contrast.

There is no light without the dark. There's a reason why when, when I gave you that desired conditions exercise, the first thing I got you to do is think back over all the things within your previous job roles that you haven't enjoyed. Because they're often easier to find before we then flip them to say, OK, well, what is it I do want?

So we have to have the contrast, so don't be afraid of negative thoughts, they're not bad, you're not wrong for having them. It's just you have a choice about what you do with them. Becca, let me know if that part makes sense.

I'm gonna stop the share now and come back. And then in terms of, is something my intuition, is it genuinely a worry or is it just fear getting in the way, then the, to, to tell the difference between that, then you can do a bit of journaling on it. So, a good, and, and actually there was a question on this in the career clarity worksheets and where I said at the end, if you weren't afraid, if you didn't have to generate money from it, and if you knew you couldn't fail and you knew you were enough already.

What would you do, or how would you view this situation or this opportunity or this thing. So you can put yourself in a state of mind whereby you temporarily imagine removing the fear and then thinking, OK, well, if I wasn't afraid and I knew nothing was gonna go wrong, how would I feel about that option? Do I feel, would I feel really excited about it if I felt enough already, even if it didn't work?

Or if I removed the fear, do I just still feel a bit like, hm, not sure. You know, not totally sure. So you can sort of try doing that as a, as a journaling exercise.

And the other thing is you're not sure, is, I'm gonna, Becca Maudling's asked a question about journaling, so I'm gonna cover some journaling techniques in that, and they may help with this as well. It's also just sitting with it for long enough because, Our intuition, our, our inner self always knows what the right thing for us is, and it doesn't go away if we ignore those messages, they just come back usually in a more stronger format. So it's trusting that you, your intuition won't stop talking to you.

So if you're not sure. Just pause and reflect for a bit longer and do some more journaling or spend some time in nature, or, you know, do a bit more mindfulness work and just keep tuning in and keep tuning in and seeing. And you can also write out what, you know, what is my fear, what am I afraid of?

And do the limiting belief flip work on that. And then, and then tap back in and see, OK, well, how do I feel about that idea now? Intuition is, it can be frustrating sometimes because our intuitive nudges don't always go in a convenient direction.

So often, you know, when, when you're thinking about your work and you start to realise that perhaps the role you're in isn't the right one for you, and that's coming from your intuition, often we do suppress it or ignore it because we're like, well, I don't know what to go to. I don't know what else I'd do. That feels really scary, so I'm just gonna sort of ignore that.

So in so intuition can not, you know, sometimes it nudges us in a direction that means we've got to face up to change and uncertainty, and so we, we can put that off for a while. But it will keep tapping and it will keep knocking. So don't worry, it, it, you, you will figure it out, in enough time.

So hopefully there's a couple of bits in there that help with that. Becca, let me know if, if that's all right. OK, next up is Cheryl.

Cheryl, have we got you on the call tonight? Let's have a look. Oh, Cheryl, you're there.

Hello, lovely. Good, Rebecca, thanks. That's great.

OK, so Cheryl's saying, I keep reading about the importance of laughter, fun, and play, etc. It's taken me a few years to work out what relaxing is because I'm a person who doesn't sit still and I'm always doing something. And most of the things we have to do in life are, because we have to do it or we need to achieve something, which leaves little time for play.

So she's saying, you know, how do you work out, how do, how do you, how does a person work out what they find fun? But in reality, I'm usually doing stuff to, it sounds like being quite goal orientated, Cheryl, so you're doing stuff to either improve your skill or learn a new skill. And so she's saying there's loads of information out there on the importance of play to wellbeing, but not about how you actually figure out what, what that is for you.

And she's saying I'd happily reserve time for fun if I knew what to do with the time. So do I, do I have any thoughts on that? Is it meant to be just something that replenishes you, because she was saying, I thought it had to do with something about, you know, losing a sense of time.

So, and it's a good question, Cheryl, you will not be alone in, in thinking that. I've worked with vets before where they actively didn't want an afternoon or a half day because they're like, I don't know what I would do with it, and it just would make me feel anxious. What comes to mind with this for me is when I, was working for Pet Blood Bank UK.

So we were working with a lot of rehomed greyhound owners, loads and loads of greyhounds, because they're fantastic with blood donation, as you know. And they, a lot of them had come off the track, and so a lot of them had come from never having had, Just never having played, they'd never gone out for walks, they'd never played with other dogs. And, when they first used to go out in dog walking groups, the greyhounds were just baffled.

Like, they'd get up to, to the, the green and let all the dogs off, and all the non-greyhound dogs would be running around and playing, and the greyhounds would just be sort of blinking outlily going, we don't know what to do. And then after a few weeks, they would gradually start to play, and then once they got into it, they would absolutely love it. And, and I think.

When you've been, when a person has been very, very productivity orientated, and we all play as children, and then sort of it gets squished out of us by our training and our conditioning and our culture, and, and then that pressure we put on ourselves to achieve. So we just, it's not that we don't know how to do it, we've just forgotten, and you can absolutely tap back into it. So in terms of what play is.

It's, it's really difficult to, to define it, Cheryl, in terms of I can't, I can't tell you what it would look like for you because it's so hugely variable from person to person. And it doesn't have to be non-goal orientated, it doesn't have to be, you know, I get a lot of pleasure from learning a new skill, so learning for me is a form of play as well. So it doesn't have to be completely non-goal orientated.

So sport is play, for some people, and obviously some sports are individual, but some sports are very much competitive and goal orientated. For some people it's reading, for some people it's gardening. For one vet that I work with, it's disappearing into a darkened room and playing on his computer game for hours on end.

It, it can be, board games, tiddlywinks. It could be something creative, you know, there's so many different creative things from typical creative things like . Drawing or painting, or knitting crochet, but also things like photography or making videos or scrapbooking, or, I don't know.

Just, so really, play can be anything, that there's not a certain collection activities that count as play and other things that don't. It's really how you feel when you're doing it. So, the, when you look at, when you look at the, the book that we mentioned, Stuart Brown's book about play, there's a really, really, you know, if you want a bit more kind of definition and and science behind it, then that is, is a good thing to, to read or listen to.

And in there, he, he says he doesn't really like trying to define it because it, it is a bit amorphous, but if you pin him down, he'll he'll tell you it's apparently purposeless, as in we, it's, it's not for income generation, it is just done for enjoyment. It's voluntary, no one's making us do it, so it's something you're choosing to do. It has an inherent attraction, so, and I think this might be part of your point, Cheryl, in terms of, well, I haven't played for so long, I don't really know what I'm attracted to.

And so that may well be just about trying, starting to try a few things, and, and going back to what we were saying in the career clarity movement about you can only cognitively think about this sort of thing so much, you actually just have to start engaging with it and going, yeah, I tried a pottery class. Had that. But I've, I enjoy sitting in the garden with a cup of tea reading and I haven't read it for ages, so actually that feels good.

So play has inherent attraction. There is also the freedom from time thing. So when we're engaged in it, so I'm quite a geek.

I like doing jigsaws, and when I'm doing a jigsaw, I can totally lose track of time. Same when I'm gardening, and those sorts of things. So, and, and similarly, we can have a diminished, you're not thinking so much about the fact that you're thinking, you just sort of come out of your head a little bit and you're experiencing whatever it is in a bit more of a pure way, rather than being completely in your head.

So again, if you're quite analytical, if you're quite task focused, if you're quite on the to do list all the time. It, it's partly training your brain, giving your brain permission to not necessarily need to be constantly task focused. And actually that might come from just trying a few different play type activities and seeing how they feel and whether you enjoy them or not, as well.

So, so that's what, that's what I would say really in that there's no one, there's no one set way. It perhaps the other thing you can do is think back to perhaps what you might have enjoyed doing as a child. So there may have been some childhood interests or hobbies that then school or uni or training got in the way of.

So maybe cast your mind back and think, well, I used to quite enjoy that, or I thought I might enjoy that at school, so maybe I'll give it a try, now. So let me know if that helps. I was quick to give me drink.

Yeah, need to rediscover, sounds good, thanks. Awesome. Okey dokey, .

Han Han Wilcox, you're up next, and she's on the call. Hi Hannah, lovely. OK, so Hannah's saying.

I, I can't think of a specific question related to the goal setting webinar, that's fine. I feel my mindset, anxiety and self-worth issues are getting in the way of what I think I can achieve, so that needs working on first. Absolutely, completely agree.

I think I worry too much about what other people think of me and comparing myself with them. Any tips to breaking this habit, podcasts or things to listen to. I struggle to believe that I am even a slightly decent or competent vet, and that worry takes up a lot of my time.

I also don't like worrying about working my time off because it feels unproductive and a waste of my spare time. Yeah, it's miserable if your work worries are bleeding over into the time when you're meant to be kind of off duty and, and, and enjoying things. So, any tips for getting out of this habit?

So firstly, yeah, absolutely correct to focus on, on, on those challenges because you're right, they and, and, and. Starting to shift and transform them is going to make the biggest difference to how you feel. So we've talked about comparisonitis on and off through quite a few of the different webinars and Q&A sessions.

So it may well be, I don't know if you've, if you've managed to catch up or watch all of them, Hanna, I know you've, I think I've seen you on most of them, but if there's any that you've missed, maybe dip back in or have a rewatch just to see. Sometimes, obviously some of these sessions are quite long. Concentration can dip in and out.

I find with the things that I do with my coach, if I listen to it again, I tend to get different things out of it because I'm like, oh, I never even heard that bit because I've nipped to the loo or thought about something else for a while. So maybe, dip back into a few sessions and just see if that brings up something again. I think it's, it's remembering that it's being able to catch yourself, have mindful awareness of when you've fallen into comparisonitis and choosing to know that nothing good ever ever comes from it.

So you will never comparisonitis yourself into becoming better. Comparisonitis is almost across the board, without doubt, a shame trigger for most of us. So it's, it's leaning into self compassion when you it it we become, you know, I was talking about emotions have like a chemical and neuropeptide response in our body.

Just like if you drink caffeine, you get addicted to drinking caffeine every day and anything else like that that hits your receptors. We literally become a bit chemically addicted to our patterned habitual ways of thinking. You know, they, they are, they feel familiar and might not like them, but, but that tends to be, we, we can, it is like a habit.

So breaking any form of habit is just, is having an awareness, having a bit of a mindful pause, reminding yourself, OK, I've slipped into comparisonitis again. I know that's not gonna make me feel good. What sort of tools, techniques, affirmations, friends that I could speak to, therapists that I could chat to, you know, really it might be worth keeping a bit of a journal for 23 weeks to see, OK, when, when your comparison tinitis is triggered.

What's triggering it? What was the event, what was the item, and then looking at, you know, almost doing the limiting belief work on it, going, right, what triggers me, because it might be that you don't compare yourself in some other areas of your life, but there are specific things where you're absolutely, it's really pinging that comparison I think. So what are they?

And then just getting curious, so why is that trigger? What am I saying to myself, why do I believe that? Take yourself through the questions from the limiting belief exercise and see if you can pinpoint where that went in.

Was it a comment at vet school? Was it an interaction in a viva? Was it a comment from a client?

Was it a, was it? A bad boss in a first job that's planted a seed that's then grown arms and legs, you know, what, or is it a general sense of not enoughness, that's particularly poked by the emotive nature of, of veterinary. So you're trying to kind of peel back those layers.

To get to the root cause, as well as at the same time, arming yourself with, you know, using, leaning into start to practise the tools and techniques we talked about on this course, and actually you're starting to work with them, reminding yourself of them and, and using them to, to help start to shift it. The other thing is, at the moment, it sounds like your belief philtre is still set to, I'm, I'm not a competent, decent vet. So at the moment, your brain is gonna interpret every interaction in the clinic, in the consult room, out the back, in through that lens of where's the evidence that I'm not decent or good enough?

Where's the evidence because I know it's gonna be there. Oh look, there's more evidence. So definitely we need to start changing, working on changing that belief philtre, .

To start to look for evidence of where you do know what to do or you have dealt adequately with a case. I'm not saying you need to go and be Nels Fitzpatrick. I'm talking about being a good enough general practise vet here, which also comes into the realms of managing your expectations of what it means to be a good general practise vet.

So I've mentioned, Professor Stephen May's work before about the fact that vets who judge themselves purely based on their clinical outcomes and getting that definitive diagnosis will generally be a lot less satisfied with the job and themselves than those vets who judge themselves on their clinical decision making processes and see the. Role as being about being of service, so that if you have, together with the owner, helps that pet's condition, even a tiny bit, then that's been brilliant. Rather than thinking, well, I haven't got the diagnosis or I haven't, or maybe have I not picked the right treatment or all those things that we can tear ourselves to bits with and be comparing ourselves to referral surgeons.

So it's, it's looking for genuine evidence. So if you're worried, speak to your, to your team, to your line manager about where they think you are, clinically. And if they're telling you that actually there aren't any major problems and they don't have any major worries, then, then they, they wouldn't be doing that if it, if it wasn't true.

And if they did identify any areas. That needed a bit of CPD or training, then it's putting yourself in a growth mindset. So rather going, oh my God, that feels really bad that that's been identified as an area for development.

I should know that by now I'm this number of years out. Other people who've been out this long would know that. All of these are beliefs, they're not truths because everyone Everyone who's graduated will have had a different path.

Some people will have gone straight into academia and be at residency stage by a certain length of time. Other people will have had a career break, maybe just some charity work, maybe gone travelling. So there's no rulebook that says at X number of years graduated, you must have these competencies, and that's why you're not allowed to put it in veterinary recruitment ads anymore for that for that exact purpose.

So. It's about knowing you are where you are now and that you can grow and improve in in any direction. So it's, it's, again, going back through this course and really tuning into the perfectionism stuff, the growth mindset stuff and the self-belief stuff, and, and getting it if, if you're doing all those things and it's not shifting it, then think about the human givens.

Therapy that we talked about in the anxiety module and maybe consider 2 or 3 sessions of that just to see if there's some lurking subconscious beliefs that it just would be so much easier to to get rid of that then might accelerate your your progress, through that. There's also a VDS webinar called We Need to talk about making mistakes or we need to talk about mistakes. I don't know if you've seen that.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna ping that over to everyone because for, for anyone that is struggling with that fear of failure, fear of mistakes, things, brilliant webinar by Catherine Oxby, that just, yeah, it, it's really good, really helpful, so I'll send that, out as a follow up to everyone as well. In terms of podcasts and listens, if you've not listened to Brene Brown's The Power of Vulnerability on Audible, that would be a good place to start. So good for comparison items, perfectionism and a lot of the stuff we've been talking about, on this course.

She's also currently doing a podcast, that I think I've mentioned before as well, that's, that's good. But the, but the, the power of vulnerability is a really good. I think everyone should should listen to that if they haven't already.

Han, let me You know if that helps and, you know, do feel free, everyone. I know tonight's the last Q&A, but over the next, you know, 3 or 4 weeks, if there's additional questions that pop up, please just email them over. I don't mind sending some email responses out to you if there's any last little bits.

OK. Let me have a drink. Brilliant, right.

So, Beckham Maudling is up next. Rebecca, I'm guessing that's probably you on there, hello, if you're there. So Rebecca was saying you've referred to journaling a few times throughout the course.

I wonder whether you could do a quick overview of the different types of journaling and what they're particularly helpful for. So yes, I'm a big advocate for journaling. Let's just see Hannah saying, yeah, great, thanks.

Journaling sounds good to identify the triggers for comparisons, which leads us nicely onto the journaling thing. So, I have mentioned it a few times. It's something that .

It is now an invaluable tool in, in my toolbox. I couldn't be without it. It's so, and all of the, the other sort of entrepreneurial women that I move with in my, the higher level coaching circles, everyone, absolutely across the board is interacting with their journal on a daily basis.

So it's, I guess it's first distinguishing what journaling is, or rather what it isn't. So it's not just the the traditional writing of a diary. So I used to write diaries when I was little.

I've got them all upstairs. They make hilarious reading from my teen years. So it's not that kind of Adrian Mole, this is what happened to me today, Steph.

It's a really kind of active working thing, that, where you're getting stuff out of your subconscious so that you can work with it, so that you can be very active in your mindset work. And there are lots and lots of different tools and techniques, and I use mine in different ways depending on how I'm feeling and what I'm wanting to work on. So a journal is a really good prep place for just a brain dump.

So there's a fantastic journaling exercise called Morning Pages, which, if there's something niggling me and I don't know what it is, and I haven't got clarity, a little bit like, . What we were saying before about how do I know whether this is my intuition or not, Morning pages is really good for this. So this is when you wake up and before, basically I keep a journal by my bed before the day has begun.

Grab a cup of tea, get back into bed, open my journal and just freewrite for 3 pages. So you have to keep the pen moving. You can't write more than 3 pages.

You have to stop at the end of 3 pages, but you do need to fill 3 pages. And so it's just a stream of consciousness, and basically it's kind of like taking a, a feather duster and poking it into all the bits of your mind and getting all of the clutter and the crap out. So often I might start that by going, right, I'm doing my morning pages, this is a bit weird.

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be writing about. You know, it just dross will come out, and then I, then things maybe that I'm worried about or that I'm thinking about for the day. And getting through that first bit is quite.

Easy, but then to keep writing, it's almost like you have to go a little bit deeper. And, and I often find that my pen just takes off and I didn't even know there was stuff that was gonna come up, and, and then, quite often I'll get ideas or thoughts or clarity, that just comes through writing. So morning pages can be a good one, although it's, it's, you need, you know, you do need about 15 minutes for that.

. Other things is there are different types of journals. So you can get, if you're just starting out with journals, you can buy one that actually has journal prompts in it. So it might have different questions on different days.

So you can literally use it like a workbook and you'll just, you know, answer the prompt for that day. So that can be a nice introduction into journaling if you're not familiar with it. Also, or you can have a blank journal.

And with a blank journal, it it can be like a diary where there's literally a day a day for a page for each day. Some people like that because then it gets them into the discipline of making sure that they do use it every day because they could see when there was a blank day. For myself, because with childcare and being a busy mum, I'd love to say I'm absolutely religious and consistent with my daily mindset and reflective practise, but I'm not.

You know, it, it comes and goes. I try and do it as many days of the week that I can, but not every day. So having blank days would actually annoy me, so I just have a, a, a, a lined journal.

And I don't tend to use the prompts because I kind of know a lot of them already. Other things you can do in your journal is gratitude lists. I think, Becca, we were pinging forth, back and forth a while back on the emails about various gratitude practises.

I use my journal all the time for limiting belief flip work. Sometimes really going into it, so I've had a couple of difficult things that come up for me in my personal life recently, and so I've really taken to my journal and I've kind of done that whole limiting beliefs exercise. But of a morning, I don't do that.

I'll do a very truncated version where I just literally will say, right, what, what am I afraid of today, or what's, what's my fear telling me? And I'll just jot down a few things that I'm worried about. Then flip those rounds, reframe them as positive affirmations, or just set some intentions for how I intend for this process to go or how I want my day to go, and that type of thing.

So like a mini version of the limiting beliefs, work. What else? Sometimes it's just affirmation.

So, so, as, as part of shifting your emotional state. When you're feeling a bit rubbishy, if you're not feeling absolutely at the bottom of that scale and you're just feeling a little bit low, gratitude and appreciation can really, really help to start shift your mindset. So sometimes I will literally just go on an appreciation rant about somebody or about a thing, also, affirmations as well, sometimes I'll just write out as many as I can think on a certain topic to just sort of start to shift my mood.

If you want more prompts than that, you can just Google journaling prompts. And I think I, I found one the other day that had 100 different journaling prompts. So just play that with it, see what works, and, yeah, but it's, it's, it's absolutely scientifically proven that journaling every day has so many beneficial effects.

I can't really remember what they all are now, but, then there are a lot of them. So Becca, let me know if that's given you a few ideas. Also, I've got I've got a summary of those ideas, plus a few more that I sent to somebody, I can't remember who it was now the other week, so I'll ping that over as a resource as well, so you've got those.

OK. Nicola McCallum, you're up next. .

So, Nicola, hopefully you're on the call. So, Nicola's had a big week. Basically, her partner's unexpected to have been offered a job in Aberdeen.

So she's saying she's relieved that, that she doesn't love to watch him go through, the, the process of applying for medical registrar jobs. And there's, there's certainly a a bit of a sense of certainty for her now in the terms that she knows where she's gonna be living for the next 5 years. However, it does mean that she's gonna be leaving a job where she's settled and she's been well supported and well supported in pursuing her, .

Sorry, I'm reading the chat, I'm reading the chat I'm trying to think, tired brain, . Yes, so she's gonna be leaving a job where she's very settled and supported in following her animal behaviour to a new area, particularly right now in a time of uncertainty when practises may not be necessarily looking at taking on more employees. Although I would say that's potentially a, it's not a truth, it's a belief, a well-founded one, I understand why it's there, but not necessarily true across the board for absolutely every practise.

So just hold a little bit of space for that. So she's saying obviously this brings a high degree of uncertainty, it's something that she's always struggled to deal with, yeah, and I get that. So she's trying to work on her limiting beliefs around being perceived as good enough because she's having the foresight to know that that's gonna be triggered a bit by going into a new practise where people don't know her, her competencies or what she, what she can do.

So she's saying that's work in progress, any final tips for overcoming the kind of not enoughness gremlin, as well as for coping with uncertainty. She's also feeling guilty for leaving her current job because there's been lots of opportunities there. And even though her colleagues have been sad but really supportive, so she's just got this gnawing feeling that she's letting them down at a difficult time.

So any tips for dealing with that sort of fear of disappointing people. So, yep, Nicola, got quite a few bits and bobs. So, where to start.

So with the not enoughness gremlin. A little bit like I was saying to Han, it's about looking at your belief philtre and deciding which, which sort of belief that you want to be feeding and growing and amplifying and focusing on, remembering that attention goes where energy flows where attention goes, and what we focus on expands. So when the not enoughness gremlin rears its head.

We can, you can either tune into that, think about it, allow it to remain as a thought, or you can start to think, OK, well, I would like to at some point, feel like I know that I'm enough. So where can I start to look for some evidence that might support that belief? And actually, you've got quite a lot of evidence that you are enough and you do have something to offer actually there in your question.

So, the fact that you feel guilty for, for kind of leaving means that there is a, there is a part of you somewhere that can see that you're an important and valued member of the team that's providing, you know, a, a, a good enough service that actually there will be a bit of a gap when you leave, that's, that's gonna be, that they're gonna feel sad about filling. So allow that to, to, to sink in in terms of what that means and the fact that in this role where you, where you have been, you've absolutely been enough and been highly valued and obviously had something, you know, lots to, to give and to offer that you still have within you that you will be taking, that will be accessible to your new practise as well. So I will come back to the kind of guilt thing in a second, but it's just, it's using that selfsame fact to provide you with evidence of your enoughness.

. And that you're a good vet and a good team member. Also, thinking about the fact that you're leaving because you've had a change in your personal circumstances, which has meant that that you're not leaving, that the practise hasn't lost a member of staff for any bad reason, they just lost that member of staff because of circumstantial change. There's absolutely no reason to say that similar things might not be happening in the practises in and around Aberdeen, that other people's personal circumstances are changing.

So allowing that piece of evidence to sink in that actually, well, then it doesn't mean that there will be no jobs potentially available because there might be someone else who's doing what I'm doing, which may leave a gap in a good supportive practise that I can then find and and take up. And also, that also in terms of dealing with the guilt thing, there may be, as, as we've just said, there might be people coming into the area because of their circumstantial change. You really, really want a good supportive job in a nice practise that actually, because you're moving to Aberdeen, there will now be a space for someone to find a really good supportive job.

So you can sort of allow all of those things to, instead of taking you down. The negative spiral of not enoughness and guilt, coming back up towards a sensation of opportunity and leaving opportunities for others and taking those, those skills with you that you will then have to offer a practise. You might be feeling sad because they've just lost somebody.

Does that make sense? Let, let me know if that's making sense that you can kind of reverse those selfsame thoughts and and use them in a different way. affirmations as well.

So writing some new affirmations for yourself in terms of things like new opportunities will always be available to me. I have the skills and positive attitude to offer that I can be, that can be of service to whichever practise I work with next. .

And so yeah, just maybe writing yourself out 3 or 4 affirmations that you can start to work with and start to wire in that will help. With the uncertainty, and, and also going through that icky thing where you're the new person in, nobody knows you, you don't know where anything is, you don't know how everything works, and it's just, that's just that thing. It, it, there's no way to circumvent that.

It's just a case of, of. Sucking it up and getting through it and knowing that it will pass in about 3 to 6 months, and that, hopefully your, you know, your new colleagues will be supportive and they'll be nice and there'll be an induction process and they'll be aware that you're the newbie and that, you know, that it'll take time to get your head around how that practise works. Also, I've often found when I was in practise that I loved it when new people came in, because it was like fresh blood in terms of they might do, you know, just even small clinical tweaks differently to a different way to what I'd seen before.

So I always liked watching new members of staff coming in because they might have things that I can pick up off them. And at the same time, you might be able to share things with them that they, they didn't know as well. So, having a sense of collaboration rather than I'm gonna stand out and it's all gonna be awkward.

. So part of it is just with the uncertainty and that type of thing. Part of it is just being self-compassionate with the discomfort of uncertainty, but knowing that uncertainty in this situation is an appropriate response because it's there and there is no way to eliminate that. There's no, there's no app we can use that will obliterate the uncertainty.

It's just something that we have to go through. And so, you know, maybe having an affirmation that I am gradually increasing my tolerance for uncertainty, and. I, I can, I can, you know, to tolerate uncertainty better than I could before, even if that's something that's, that's aspirational at the moment, .

The, what else did I think about? So to help with that is leaning into kind of patience, trust and hope. So the trust bit is self-belief, it's switching from what will people think to what have I got to.

How can I be of service and choosing to know that you have skills and talents that can be of service to others. And for me, that switch to thinking about how I'm feeling, to thinking about how I can serve others, it just naturally seems to drop the anxiety levels a little bit because it's coming from a, from a more heart centred, place rather than a fear-based place. And also to deal with the uncertainty is knowing that you're going to need to up the amount of self-nurturing that you're doing.

So to counteract, to counteract the, so what we tend to do with with uncertainty is we tip over into numbing, because of the brain doesn't like those feelings. The counterbalance to numbing is feeling the feelings and nurturing your soul and upping the amount of things that, you know, knowing that uncertainty is probably gonna make you more tired. You're probably gonna slip into slightly lower vibrational emotional states like we talked about at the start.

So how can you think of, you know, giving yourself permission to do a few extra nice things that might help just bring you back up a little bit, that sort of thing, because, and journaling, journaling out, you know, as I've been saying a few times tonight, as well. So hopefully there's a couple of extra bits in there that will help with that. And just know you've got this, it, you know, it, it's, it's going to be OK, and that that re-establishing yourself in that new environment, you can do it and and it will come and you'll get through the uncertain bit.

OK, so, Moving on. We have got Rosie next. Hi Rosie, I can see that you're there as well.

So Rosie's got an interesting question. I had to have a chin scratch about this for Rosie, as well. She's saying, I have, I've got a couple of colleagues who are very self-critical, one of whom is always verbalising pretty nasty statements about herself, and I feel like these are probably coping strategies or her seeking reassurance.

And what she wants is for me to come back with a no, you're not stupid, or something similar. However, from Rosie's own kind of personal development work, she's realised that that sort of interaction isn't generally very helpful because it's kind of enabling that, negative, self-talk. And she's saying, I also find the level of self-deprecation makes me uncomfortable as it feels a bit, you know, it's like it's almost tipping into bullying or unprofessionalism.

Plus I'm she's concerned that this person is, is obviously mentally distressed. So she's saying any ideas for sort of detoxifying interactions with negative people when you when you absolutely have to work with them? Rosie, I just wanted to ask, a couple of questions if that's OK to, to clarify, something.

So I'm just gonna unmute you if you're happy to, to, hello, are you there? Yeah, yeah, hello. Hi, Rosie.

So, so just, obviously maintaining confidentiality, but where you're saying that the, the level of self-deprecation is so severe that it's sort of feeling almost like bullying or unprofessional, tell me a little bit about how that's how that's coming across in that way. So they make statements like, oh I'm so stupid or something like that. Never swearing or abusive, but it's at a level that if it was directed at another person, yeah, definitely call it bullying.

I see what you're saying. OK, that's what I was wanting to have. So, so it's feeling like they're, they're in effect bullying themselves.

Yeah, yeah. So you're literally watching someone absolutely beating themselves up emotionally, and that that's quite hard to watch. Yeah.

Yeah, OK, that makes sense. Thanks, I just wanted to clarify that, so. So in terms of, you know, being concerned about the mental welfare for that person, a while back there was, it, it was like a live webinar.

It was Vet Life and I think BDS, and we were talking about this, this type of thing of how do you, when you're concerned for someone's mental mental wellbeing, how do you broach it with them because it's not the easiest thing, or should it be you, or should it be their line manager or kind of how do you go about it? So I did wonder whether I tried to have a quick flick to see if I could see the resources about that on VettLife earlier on today, but I couldn't find the exact thing. But it may be worth just having a chat to Vettlife kind of not about yourself, obviously, but more about, look, there's this situation at work.

I'm concerned for the mental wellbeing of this person, what's my best approach? Am I best to have a chat with her in the tea room and say, look, you, you seem to be being exceptionally hard on yourself, are you OK? You know, how are you feeling?

Are you finding work all right at the minute? And just asking a few open-ended questions to just see what that response is, without obviously feeling like you have to take on responsibility for that because, it, it might just give you an indication of is this person actually really struggling and they do need you, they do need additional support from somebody who can help them. Or are they not really aware that it's a problem, and they might come back with, oh no, it's fine, it's OK, or does everyone think that or some sort of blocking type response that indicates either I don't want to talk about it or I don't see it as a problem.

So that's something that so having a chat with that life either about how do you broach it with them, or if you don't want to, because that feels too. Emotionally destabilising for you, it might be that they've got some words of wisdom more than I would have really about how to, how to deal with that. So they, they may be worth a shout.

The other thing is, obviously that's quite, it's quite draining and difficult and, and likely to have, you know, if you're being, if you're interacting with that, and do you feel like she does expect a response from you? Yes, I think so. I find it, I do find it quite.

Hard work. Yeah, I find it tiring to Either it takes you away, partly practically is if you're in the middle of doing something else, you haven't really got the mental space to step out of whatever you're doing clinically to engage with them, and also I find it quite. Just a bit relentless, I suppose.

I don't have time, but I, it, it's a typical pattern of conversation. Yeah, absolutely. And when we like talking right back at the beginning about kind of the, the, the vibrational frequency, when people are themselves in feeling negative emotions, because they're kind of literally, you know, there's a reason why when you walk into a room, we have phrases like you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

That's not just. The cliche phrase, we, we literally physiologically sense with that, with that, with our electromagnetics that are attached, that are sort of around us, we sense how other people are feeling, even if they're not expressing it. So, and, and negative emotions are quite, well, all emotions are contagious, really.

So if you've got someone who's persistently being very, very negative, then that is quite draining. So at that point, then it may be worth Seeing if you could have a chat either with their line manager or with the most, the most emotionally intelligent member of the management team, you know, picking your person, to, to just have a confidential chat with them about it to say, look, this person's clearly got some confidence issues. I'm finding it quite challenging.

I if, if that's not, if it's not someone that you're specifically meant to be mentoring, but you're being pulled off for your own work the whole time. Then that's actually, it's not your responsibility to fix that person's confidence at all, and if it's affecting your enjoyment of work and your ability to do your own clinical work, then it, it does kind of need flagging up, you know, for the perspective of helping that person, but also maintaining and protecting your own job, satisfaction as well. So is that anything you've considered doing?

Yeah, I think so. I think it's just gauging . What's an appropriate level of, of formal stuff, I suppose.

Yeah, yeah. I'm also thinking about it, it's probably, it's not quite problem solving, but it's like an appeasement thing. Like if you have like a parent who's upset, you're trying to, you want people to, you want to try and make people feel better.

I think a lot more if they're in the industry like we are, and you just kind of want to. Make it better, I suppose it's kind of a simplistic way of putting it, but it's not. So it becomes a, it becomes a problem in your brain sort of thing.

Yes, so you mean for you? Yeah, so I tend to, you want to, you want to, my brain wants to acquire the responsibility. OK, I don't think about something and the same as I do in my, you know, a lot of.

My role is, I think, trying to make things that distress people less distressing, broadly speaking, is what we do in our jobs. I think that bleeds into, I want to do that for people very easily. So I yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, and, and, and so, yeah, so it's almost triggering that I remember that it's her issues, not my issues sort of thing, yeah.

So it triggers your own compassionate response, but it's almost like actually as veterinary professionals, the compassion when you're at work is, is needing to be obviously towards each other when there's been something genuinely really tough going on, but in the general kind of. Able to handle the the the sort of normalish aspects of our job, then the compassion will be more directed towards the owners and the pets. And if it's constantly being triggered to someone else, then it's just gonna use up your own supplies of compassion for, for, for yourself, for your clients, for your work, as well.

And it's sounding like, and it's not like we shouldn't as colleagues be able to ask for that support, but if it's relentlessly daily, then it's out of kilter, it's out of balance, it's not appropriate. And yes, it's, it's sort of triggering that in you. So I think maybe, you know, just have a think about those couple of ideas, of whether it is worth having, even, you know, not a formal not going in on.

All guns blazing to start with, but just a bit of a chat to one of the line managers, and or, a chat to Bet life on how best to, to support, without taking on that responsibility, absolutely, because when someone voices something very negative, When you're a caring, compassionate person, it almost triggers you to then take responsibility, and it is about, that's about bound being boundary and knowing that it's not your, it's you to be a friendly, compassionate colleague, but not to fix her confidence issues, that, that, that that's just, you know, no one would expect that, from you. Let's see what's Nicholas saying, how about Not directed at that person, but could you introduce at the next practise meeting, something like a no no negative self-labeling culture. So saying, I'm so stupid just feels much more negatively powerful than, oh, that's annoying that I missed that cannula.

Yeah, absolutely. And that's the guilt versus shame thing, isn't it, Nicola, in terms of, I'm a mistake rather than I made a mistake. And it sounds nuanced, but it feels completely different.

So, Yeah, absolutely. Oh, Ros is saying, so thank you for that, Nicola. It's a really good idea.

I managed someone who was very negative, but also very excellent, and in a fairly horrible relationship. And as a leadership team, we made a conscious effort to pick her up, both in staff meetings and in 1 to 1 interactions, and had a rule, as suggested above, that we all said, oops Daisy. If we cock something up, which Which made us laugh and try and get on with it again.

Yeah, introducing humour and, and lovingly calling each other out when you've slipped into negative self talk. So, do you know what? It's, it's the sort of thing that Schwartz, Schwartz, I never know how you say it.

Schwartz rounds, are good for in terms of, as a team, addressing emotional issues and being able to come up with ideas. I love the whoopsy daisy idea, I that's awesome. So thanks guys, really brilliant ideas.

Rosie, is that helping? Yeah, very helpful. Thank you.

Awesome. Right, I shall meet you. I tell you what, if we kept these Q&A's going a few more weeks, I would be able to just sit here with my brew and I'll just let you guys get on with it.

It'd be awesome. fantastic. OK, thanks for that, Rosie, good question.

Sophie, is this our last one? It is. Don't faint Rich in the background, but we, we're kind of vaguely on time.

So, Sophie is saying, let me just have a quick drink. Hi Sophie, nice to see you, by the way, I haven't seen you for a couple of weeks. The main issue I seem to have is around time.

So pre BC before COVID, I've struggled with my days off to the point that I developed anxiety, the other things contributing. But she she used to have Wednesdays off and so Tuesday it would trigger anxiety about kind of what do I, what do I need to do? I've got this one day off.

I need to do everything within that one day. So it was kind of almost like a stressor to have a day off by the sounds of things. I feel like I have to plan everything, be as productive as possible, and I feel guilty if I don't do much.

But obviously now with the current situation, she's saying I've been out of work for over 5 weeks. And as she's doing a lot of brilliant things, Sophie. So each week I'm writing a list of things to do each day, but keeping it short and achievable, like her master's work, call her parents, do an exercise class.

But I'm often still struggling with guilty feelings if I sleep in, or if I spend too much time on my laptop. So beating yourself up if you're in your own eyes and in your own evaluation. Wasting some time or not being productive with with part of this time that you have.

so she's saying, I'm just obsessing about time, even though quite literally I have all the time in the world right now. So I know it may be a case of trying to shift my mindset around time. Yeah, absolutely.

Is this some, and this is something I'm trying to work on, but is there anything else I could be doing to reduce this guilt, to actually be able to enjoy the time that I have, and so that I'm able to manage my time off when I'm back in work. So another awesome question, Sophie, you, I'm imagining you will not be alone, in feeling like this as well. So.

The first thing I would say about the current situation is this is not like normal time off. It's so not like normal time off. So there's, there's, there's, there's so much uncertainty.

We're not, it's not like normal time off where you can do normal things. So, yes, we have time on our hands, but it's almost like time when you can only be. Productive in certain areas, and we can't just be filling up that time constantly with work and task because that would just be completely exhausting.

So it's a kind of weird time off. So I think really being very self-compassionate with yourself about that and understanding that it's not like normal. However, having said that, It is a useful practise ground and grounds for practising, having time off, and, and the fact that you're identifying that you've got a bit of an issue with your relationship with time and your own definitions of what counts as productive time, or, or what feels like worthy time, that's good that that's been brought to your attention because it gives you an opportunity, as you are doing, to start to work on it.

So that's understanding. Yeah, good, good that you have that understanding. So I think what we've got here is something else that we've talked about several times along the course, which is the productivity of self-worth gremlin, whereby it's sounding, so if you like you're evaluating yourself or your usefulness on what activities you've chosen to do and how well you've done them.

And so anything that could be deemed as farting about or just poodling or Or you know something that doesn't have a specific purpose, but also isn't really within the realms of official relaxation or play, is, is being labelled by your brain at the moment as well, that's an utter waste of time, or I'm lazy or whatever it is that's causing those guilty feelings. So partly it's doing a little bit of reframing around that because we all need time to be free range. So what I mean by free range is just aimlessly poofling, is just.

Bingeing on a box set or having a cheeky lie in or, you know, doing those things that, no, they're not productive in terms of income generation or the world of work, but they are productive in, you know, our, our, our, our brains and bodies are not designed to be switched on permanently all the time. Our physiology doesn't work well with that. And so actually, it, this is about kind of almost starting to reframe, you know, allowing yourself to have periodic times when you do just bimble or you have a lie in and and and then really looking at, OK, what's the narrative?

So I've just slept in. Yesterday, I'd planned to get up early and do a meditation and then do some work on my masters, and actually now it's 10 o'clock and I haven't done anything and now I'm feeling really guilty. And what, and then going, right, what am I saying to myself?

And, and catching that narrative and seeing if you can apply the self-compassion techniques. So kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. So kindness in terms of just think back over your university training, your years of work, how much time off you have actually officially had probably in the last decade, .

And being able to say, do you know what, if I have the odd day where I'm not productive at all, not even one tiny little bit, and I don't do my washing up and I don't manage to make it into my clothes, that does not make me a bad person. It doesn't mean I'm lazy. That's the, that's the mindfulness piece of not overly identifying with it, and being able to give yourself permission.

Every now and again, so, so it's, it's having that balance. So obviously you want some productivity, because, because boredom and lack of productivity is as stressful as overwork. But it's about permission.

So Brenne talks about giving your literally writing yourself permission slips. So I give myself permission to not have to be 100% productive all the time. Structuring things, you know, having, having an idea, a little bit like you are doing with your list of.

Of having the top three things that you want to achieve during the week, but not being so fixed on exactly when they happen, as long as they happen at some point during the week, just flowing a little bit with what you feel like doing or thinking, you know, what's . It it it is it does come back to that kind of self-worth, productivity self worth thing. So, similarly to as I said to Han, it may be worth dipping back into a few of the webinars or Q&A sessions for where we've covered the productivity is self worth thing.

And just having a reli, just see if something more sinks in around that, choosing to know. That you're enough already and you're not defined by what you do and and how well you do it, even though that's, that's, that's a choice we make to define our own definition of success, and what joy and meaning means in your life on your own terms. Let me just see what else did I think of, around that.

A little bit similar to what I was saying to Cheryl earlier on, really, really understanding the importance and the value of, of play. And I would count some periods of white space where you are just having a look on your laptop as, as part of that as well. da da da.

Yes. So in terms of reframing your, your, your mindset around time, like I've said also a couple of times earlier on this evening, we get habituated, so what I was saying to Hannah about you can get almost addicted to comparisonitis. You can get addicted to the sensation that there's never enough time.

And I know that because this is where I had to hold up my hand and say that I have been very, very much working on this myself. Actually, since reading Gay Hendricks's book, The Big Leap, a year or so ago, he talks about, he's got quite a mind-bending chapter about time in there, and the difference between Newtonian time and Einstein time. And, and in that, he's talking about the fact that actually, We are the creators of time and it's, it's, I, I get what he's saying, putting it into practise is a bit more tricky.

However, he does make some very valid points that we often get addicted to saying there's not enough time, I don't have enough time. But then when we do have time, being so anxious about stuff that we don't do the things we want to do. So, so it's, so he recommends taking a complete break from uttering the words I don't have time, or, or, you know, whatever it is that you're saying to yourself about, about time.

I know in this instance you're almost saying, I've got loads of time and I'm not being productive. So it's looking at what would you like to shift. Within that, so have you got a belief that all time should be productive?

And if so, that's not the truth, unproductive time has value as well. So there's some kind of affirmations you could write around that, as well. So, .

Also, scheduling and automation, so habit forming. So during this time, if you've got another perhaps 3 or 4 weeks where you might not be officially kind of going out to work, it would be thinking about can I create some habits or decide what I'm gonna do on what days. So I've done this around some houseworky stuff, having read, Dana K.

White's books about decluttering about running your home, and she talks a lot about. Doing certain tasks on certain days so that that's just what happens on that day or at that time. So it takes the decision making, self will, will I won't I do that on this day out of the equation.

So for example, I now do all of our household laundry on a Monday. I do the kitchen floor on a Tuesday. I do my online shopping planning at some point on a Sunday.

Because if I don't do those things on those set days, then the whole time I'm going, right, should I do online shopping today? Should I not? Oh, I need to do some laundry.

I might do it tomorrow, or I haven't done it, or, you know, you're relying on constantly having to make the decision, will I do it, won't I do it? And then that relies on self will. And self will, our self will, we all beat ourselves up for not being disciplined enough and not having self will, but when you look at the science on it, it's a really rubbish thing to, to be relying on.

Actually, because it's difficult and it's tricky and self will will only ever get you so far, and then when we fail because we didn't have enough discipline, we just beat ourselves up. Whereas actually finding a way to automate things or systematise them or put them at a set time or on a set day and get into the habit of doing those things on those, those set times means that you're not having to, on a daily basis, make decisions about what you're gonna do. And then that means you can let yourself off the hook, for the rest of, of the time.

So, I feel like that's been a little bit of a waffly and not very succinct answer, but I hope there's, there's a couple of bits in there, Sophie, that, that might help. And I think definitely revisiting some of the productivity is self-worth and keep going on the, on the self-worth, stuff moving forward. Listening to things.

So let me know if that's helped at all or if if there's still issues, as I say, keep emailing me afterwards, about those as well. Right, OK. So I think that's it for questions so saying that's helpful, thank you.

I think planning each day is part of the problem, but creating a routine is probably gonna be best for me, thanks. OK, yeah. Yes, yes, rather than having to make a plan each, each day.

Good. OK. Right.

That's it for our official questions tonight. So, what I thought I might do, when I, when I'm working 1 to 1 with clients, we do a load of mindset stuff in module 5. And as homework from that module, I send them an exercise that I've called the personal success prescription where I get them to think back over all of the stuff that we've done.

And to pull out the, the, what have been the biggest standout take homes, the biggest things that have been aha moments, or that, you know, which concepts or tools or techniques that you're definitely gonna try or what realisations have you had. And then listing those out, and there might only be 2 or 3, or you might have a list of 10 things. Then it's about taking the top 3, the most sort of pertinent 3 things for you.

And turning those into guidelines for yourself, for the coming 12 months. So this isn't about writing a new empowering belief, it's not about changing your self view. It's literally based on everything you've learned over the last 12 weeks.

If you could give yourself three really strong, solid bits of advice that you want to then put into action over the coming few months, what would they be? And there's quite a lot of examples in the notes, for, for what that, what those sorts of things could look like, so. I just thought today that that might be quite a useful exercise.

I'm gonna give it to you as an exercise. Obviously it's up to you whether you do it or not, but it just might help crystallise the learnings from this course into the, the strongest take homes for you that you can then keep reminding yourself about over the coming months as we move after the course. Also, I'm very aware that I still need to get you your guided meditation and the rest of the time management.

That's only been derailed by the current situation and me working half time, so, I'm very, very sorry that I haven't got those to you within the time frame that I'd hoped. They will be coming in due course. I'll get those done as, as quickly as I possibly can, and get those out to everybody.

I'm also gonna be putting together a brief feedback form that will be coming out in the next week or so. I'd be very, very grateful. Oh thanks, Nicola.

I'll be very, very grateful for, any feedback that you, that you, that you're happy to give. Me, just so that I know what's worked, what hasn't worked, and if I run the course again, what learnings I can take from it, how I can make it better, or tweak it or improve it. And also just because I'd be really interested to, to, to know what the experience has been like, from your end.

I've, I've really enjoyed it, and I hope that it's been helpful and useful for you as well. Obviously you're gonna have continued access to the videos, the content. I'll go back into the Facebook group and make sure I've uploaded all the documents in there as well.

They, all of the PDFs and exercises and things should all be in the release notes for each of the 6 webinars. So not, not with the Q&As, but with every webinar, there should be copies of the exercises if you want to go back and revisit them and have a look at them again. I'll leave the Facebook group open for the time being, certainly for the next 2 to 3 months, because obviously you have all come through this process together.

It is a safe space. So I, I will leave that there for you in case there's, you know, you want to interact with each other, say hello, find out how people are getting on, ask me any questions, and that type of thing. So we'll see if no one's really using it after a couple of months, then I might just, finish that, but I'll let you know if I'm gonna do that.

. I am obviously here for you, ongoing for any coaching and support needs that you might have. So I've got a couple of you I know that are coming to do the HBDI with me, the profiling, so that's good. I shall look forward to that.

Anyone else who's interested in that, obviously let me know. also at the moment with part of my sort of response to the, the COVID situation, I don't normally do 1 to 1 coaching sessions. I normally just do them as packages.

But at the minute I'm offering really, really cost effective, one off, 1 to 1 strategy and mindset sessions. They're on my website on the CV support page. So if anyone wants a bit of a 1 to 1 follow up from, from this process, or just any support in the coming months, I'll, I'll be running that for as long as the COVID period is going on, just to try and make, 1 to 1 coaching just a little bit more affordable and accessible for anyone that, that needs it right now.

Because I think. All the, all the tools and techniques, you know, not all, but a lot of the tools and techniques that we've been learning over the last 12 weeks are massively applicable to what we're going through right now with the current situation. So although we've been learning them in, in the, in the scope of career changing and figuring out your way forward, they're very, very much applicable to change management and dealing with uncertainty and all those kind of things as well.

So. So go back, look through if there's, if there's anything that you're struggling with in the current situation, then lean on the things that that we've been learning here as well. And then finally, I just want to say a massive thank you.

I, I've really, really enjoyed going through this process with you. You've been absolutely fantastic at engaging. Asking brilliant questions, engaging with the Q&As, chipping in on the, the interactivity with the webinars, and, and just showing up, and, and sort of coming through the process and doing the exercises, as well.

So I just want to say, thank you very much. I've really enjoyed working with you. I've enjoyed speaking to, to you, along this process as well.

And please keep in touch. Even if you don't want to do any additional coaching, I'd love to get the odd email, hear how you're doing, find out what, you know, especially those of you that are in the middle of changing to something else. Please do ping me the odd message and let me know how it's going.

I'd love to stay in touch, and stay connected. And hopefully, I'll get to see when, when, when we can go and interact, again, then hopefully I'll see a few of you at, various conferences. It'd be great to sit down and have coffee or wine.

And, and say hello to you in person as well. so I think that's it for me, where I covered everything. Yeah, so yeah, keep in touch, .

Email me any questions, you know, as I say for the next 3 or 4 weeks, if there's stuff that crops up, then just pop, pop questions over. I'm happy to still send responses for that. so thank you.

I'm, I'm glad that a few people are saying that, the course has been good, and helpful, so good. I'm glad. Thank you guys.

. The other thing I'll do, when I get when I get a minute, is from Rosie's point a while ago, that there's been quite a lot of good suggestions, or it might have been Louise, I, I can't remember who suggested it. But there's been quite a lot of good suggestions within the chat. I've got the chat transcripts and everything, so I'll have a shift you through those, and if there's anything I can add to the reading list or, or, you know, recommendations that people have made, I'll ping those over to you.

So fantastic. Right then. So it's gonna be a goodbye from me for now, but as I say, I'll keep in touch.

I'll be pinging the odd thing over, in the coming couple of weeks. And, please stay safe, stay well. Thank you very much, and, I shall look forward to being in contact in the future, and I shall wish you all a good night.

Thanks everyone. Bye, bye, take care.